Do you know, you too could be the reason behind the generation gap with your children?
Most of you would disagree with me.
Let us first analyze what exactly does generation gap mean?
The wide rift between your experienced outlook and the experimental attitude of your children to learn from trial and error is called generation gap.
Yes!
Most of you do not understand the tender world of your children. You always interact with your children from a pedestal of being a parent.
Your attitude makes your children feel that you are a dictator, who wants things done your way.
The young mind of your children revolt when you intrude into their private world.
After all, your children are also individuals, aren’t they?
Just because they are your children, it does not mean you can dictate terms and condition of their life.
But this is exactly what you do. And this is what your children do not like about you.
Your children term your interference and preachiness as generation gap.
Why is there generation gap between you and your children?
- As a parent, you are always judgmental and critical about whatever your children do.
- You question the actions of your children.
- You lecture your children about how they should behave.
- You never allow them to experiment.
- You do not let your children to learn from their mistakes.
Can you see how your behavior towards your children is hundred percent authentic generation gap?
But you never accept the fact that there is a wide generation gap between you and your children. You always think you are a perfect parent.
What makes you think that you are a fantastic parent?
- I buy my children costly things which I did not have the luxury of enjoying when I was young.
- I take them for vacations to exotic places.
- My children study in the best school\college.
Do you feel these are the criteria’s to call yourself a good parent?
These are your basic parental duties.
Ask your children whether you are a good parent!.
Your children feel otherwise. They think that there is a wide generation gap between you and them.
Here is what your children have to say about you.
- My parents do not give me liberty to be myself
- They expect me to do things their way
- My parents do not spend time with me.
- If at all my parents spend time with me, they are very preachy and lecturing.
- My parents do not have the patience to listen to me.
This difference between you and your children is what generation gap is all about.
Can you see how diversified you and your children are in thoughts and actions?
It is strange that you do not have emotional bond with your children, though you work yourself threadbare for their betterment..
“My mother is always talking in the mobile. She halfheartedly listens to whatever I say and snaps at me when I demand her attention” this is a statement of an eight year old.
He was saying this in a newspaper interview. The little boy’s words sums up the pathetic state of the relationship between you and your children.
Your children have many more complaints about you.
- My parents always bring their workload home.
- My parents spend their time at home, either before the laptop, or watch some TV shows which does not interest me.
- They cite their tiredness for not talking with me and ask me not to disturb them.
- I am forced to spend my time playing video games or chatting with my friends
These are the common negative comments most children have about their parents.
Do you want to know the real reasons for the generation gap between you and your children?
- You never truly understand your children from their angle.
- You do not have the patience to listen to the point of view of your children.
- You thrust your ideas on them.
- You preach your children, instead of interacting with friendliness.
Here are the 5 top shocking reasons for generation gap with your children
1.You do not talk their language
What does this actually mean?
The young world of your children is different from your adult world. They want to experiment life and understand it from their viewpoint.
But you would not agree to give your children that much of independence. You feel that if you give them independence, they will become too decisive and deciding about their life.
How did you feel when your parents thrust their ideas on you?
You felt there was immense generation gap between you and your parents. You craved for freedom to decide your life.
How can you expect your children to be different?
It is true you do not want your children to suffer by making mistakes as you did.
But the young blood of your children feel, that they are capable of handling their life with great willpower.
And you should you allow your children to learn from their mistakes.
When you do so, it will do your children a world of good.
Experience can be a great teacher.
Allow your children to evolve by themselves. They will like you for it.
2. You keep finding mistakes with your children
Your children are very young and so are bound to make mistakes.
When your children make mistakes, you should realize that they are in the learning process.
This is the time for you to be a supporting parent. Be their best friend.
Your children should feel certain that you would be there for them, when they are doubtful and hesitant about certain aspects of life.
Never push your children forcefully into your way of thinking and doing things.
Your children hate it when you do so.
You should just be a guide to show your children the proper way to live their life, and step back to let them do the rest.
This habit will shrink the generation gap between you and your children.
3. You want your children to be your Xerox copy
You have great dreams about your children. You want them to live your dream.
You want your children to follow your dreams.
If you are a doctor, you want your children to pursue medicine, irrespective of the fact whether he\she likes it or not.
Understand one simple fact.
Your children might be from you, but they can never be you.
How would you have reacted if your parents made you live their life?
You would have revolted, won’t you?
In fact, most of you must be licking your wounded feelings when your parents made you their Xerox copy.
Do not do that to your children.
4. You always compare your children!
In your anxiety to make your children successful, you compare them with their more intelligent friends.
This is one quality your children hates about you.
“Your friend is very studious.”
“Your brother\sister is more responsible than you.”
“You are not as good as your friend.”
Do you utter such words to your children?
It kills the enthusiasm of your children.
On the contrary, it instills a lack of confidence in them.
Your children hate comparisons.
So, avoid doing it at any cost.
Instead, you should appreciate your children for what they are. You should praise their tiny success.
When you do so, it boosts the confidence of your children. It makes them feel worthy. They need appreciation more than anything else from you.
5. You do not interact with your children
Do you interact with your children?
Talking with your children to do this and that is not interacting with them. It is ordering them about.
- Your children want your friendly interaction.
- They want you to listen to them with loving care.
- Your children crave for your unconditional support.
- They want you to laugh along with them.
But you are too stressed and tensed by your work related problems, that you do not have the energy to spend quality time with your children.
In fact, you thrust your anger and frustration on your children.
When you continue to vent your anger on your children, it makes them deviate from you, mentally and psychologically.
This is the reason that video games\browsing the internet\chatting with their friends has become the pass time of your children.
- Give your children emotional security. They crave for it.
- Respect the individuality of your children. It makes them confident.
- Interact with your children with friendliness. They love you for this.
- Do not order your children. They will not obey you.
- Do not abuse your children. They will begin to hide their activities from you.
Bringing up your children is an art.
Your children love you unconditionally when they are kids.
But as your children grow up, they develop individualistic and independent characteristics.
It is now you should change your behavior towards your children.
Respect the individuality of your children.
Treat your children with friendly love, and not with dominating love. Your children adore you for this.
Close the generation gap between you by giving your children the freedom and liberty to be themselves.
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Here is the link to “Marriage Realities.”
Rasmi Singh says
This is really a gud advice for oll da parents
Mathi says
Rasmi,
Thank you.
Mohd Dinar says
It is realistic and research based article.It will really guide the parents to enjoy a successful life with their children and be helpful in closing generation gape.
Mathi says
Mohd Dinar,
Thank you.