Are you married to an always criticizing husband?
He makes your married life tremendously stressful and agonizing, doesn’t he?
- His criticizing words sting you.
- His degrading words pricks you.
- You are emotionally upset when your always criticizing husband keeps on making negative comments about you.
You never feel emotionally shattered when your colleagues\friends\relatives criticize you. You do not have too much of an emotional bond with them.
But you have emotional bond with your husband. You love him. He means the world to you. You crave for loving words from him.
But your always criticizing husband never makes you feel loved.
In fact, he makes you feel lesser when he points out your mistakes with his stinging tongue.
Is retaliating in anger the only way to deal with your always criticizing husband?
Do not give tit for tat. It never helps. It intensifies your anger against your husband.
‘Do you mean to say that I should never retaliate when my husband keeps on criticizing me as if I am a dimwit?
Your anger is justified.
But when you keep picking up fights with your husband for all his critical comments, it can ruin your married life.
First, analyze whether he is criticizing with the good intention of pointing out your mistakes.
Or whether your husband is deliberately venting his frustrations and anger on you.
This is where your emotional intelligence is put to test. You should analyze the criticism of your husband.
Is his criticisms negative?
Or is his criticisms positive?
Like the two sides of a coin, criticism also has two sides.
Do you want to know how your husband makes criticizes to deliberately hurt you?
- He makes fun of your appearance.
- Your always criticizing husband makes degrading comments about your family.
- He often makes fun of your way of doing things.
- His tone is sarcastic and mocking when he interacts with you.
- Your husband makes uncalled for remarks about you before his relatives\friends.
- He treats you as if you were a dimwit.
Your always criticizing husband never appreciates your good aspects. But he springs with ugly eagerness to spat criticizing words when you do something wrong.
You seemingly Mr. Perfect husband thinks that you are a nitwit. Your blood boils at his audacity of making fun of you when he is not at all perfect.
You are so angry that you want to give word to word criticizing comments about your husband, don’t you?
You are fully justified in feeling resentful against him.
Does this mean your husband does not have the right to criticize you?
He has the right to make positive criticisms.
Your husband can criticize you to make you change for the better.
Are you completely and always disorganized?
Your husband makes positive criticism so that you can become well organized.
Are you very forgetful and absent minded?
His reasonable criticism is meant to make you sharper and focused.
What is the right way to make positive criticisms about you?
Your husband should always criticize you in the privacy of your room.
He should never sound preachy and condensing.
He should not keep pointing all your faults as if he was faultless.
He should never compare you with others.
He should not make the mistakes he is criticizing you about.
You always welcome such positive criticism from your husband, don’t you?
You want to listen to him as you know his intentions are good.
But what should you do if your husband vents all his anger and frustration on you by his incessant negative comments?
What should you do when your husband criticizes you in front of friends\relatives?
Should you give him word to word reply?
Never do that. It paves way for bitter fights and arguments which mentally drains you.
Does this mean he can say anything and get away with it?
You must retaliate.
But not like your husband.
Do it the different way.
The dignified way.
Show him your piece of mind when you are alone with him. Never in front of others.
Ask him what he would do if you make criticisms about him before his friends\relatives.
Be very reasonable. The tone of your voice must make him feel ashamed for his uncalled for criticism about you in front of others.
Don’t yell at him.
If you do so, your husband sees only your emotional outburst. He misses the point that you are reacting to the insulting criticisms he made about you.
Conclusion about your always criticizing husband
Never lose your self-esteem and bow down to the criticism of your husband. Tell him firmly that you will not tolerate his public criticism about you.
Set a boundary for yourself.
You are an individual. You owe the respect of your husband. You might make mistakes.
Your husband has every right to point it out to you. But in positive manner, not in insulting way.