Most couples fight over children.
Children are the cementing force in your relationship. Most struggling marriages survive for the sake of children.
But strangely you also fight over children with your spouse.
Both have a different attitude in bringing up your children.
‘I want my children to be disciplined and well-behaved’ my friend told me.
‘Well, you are doing the right thing’, I totally agreed with her.
‘But my husband tells me that I am too dominating and strict with the children. We fight daily about how to bring them up’ she further added.
She is one among the many couples who have conflicting ideas about bringing up their children. It is strange that children who give you pleasure and fulfillment make you fight over them.
Why do you fight over children? They are your combined responsibility.
- You have different views about bringing up your children.
- You are sure your children have your family traits rather than that of your spouse’s. But he\she totally disagrees with you.
- Your dreams about your children is totally in contrast with that of your spouse.
- You feel you have more rights over your children than your spouse.
In the bargain you forget that your children will have their own unique characteristics when they grow up. They will neither be you nor your spouse. They will be totally different from you – highly individualistic.
Does this mean that you cannot bring up your children as you wish?
Don’t you have the right to implement your dreams about them?
Of course, you have the right. But so does your spouse!
Your children should not be the reason for your arguments. They should be a loving bridge to bring you close to each other to form a beautiful family. Good relationship gives you great emotional security that nothing else can give you.
Why do you want to fight over your children?
Why should you prove that you have more rights over them?
The future of your children should be discussed amicably between you so that both come to a right decision.
Sometimes your contrasting attitude in bring up your children is good for them.
Are you wondering how?
When you are a strict parent you want your children to behave impeccably.
What happens when your spouse is also a strict disciplinarian?
The life of your children becomes too overwhelmingly disciplinary for them. They do not enjoy bubbling childhood. They yearn and long for the breezy childhood their friends are enjoying.
You can be strict but you cannot be a dictator.
You can teach your children values of life, but you cannot thrust your views on them.
They should be allowed to evolve as an individual without your interference.
They should realize that both their parents are united in their care for them.
Do not argue with your spouse that your children have taken after your family. Your children hate it. Do not be too preaching and teaching. Your children dislike it. When your spouse is strict, you should play the balancing act of pampering.
Do you argue with your spouse about who should look after the children?
Your children are the responsibility of both. You should share your duties together. When you are tired your spouse should look after them. When your spouse is tired you should be the care taker of your children.
Coordinate with your spouse in bringing up your children. They give your married life great emotional security. Your children anchor your troubled marriage. They are the wonder medicine to your struggling relationship.