Your relationship has become so mechanical that you never know the magic of direct eye contact with your spouse.
‘My husband does not have direct eye contact with me whenever I talk with him’ my friend’s voice was literally shaking with anger when she told me this.
‘What does he do when you talk with him?’ I asked her curiously.
‘He will be busy with his mobile when I discuss family problems with him. His eyes will be glued to the TV when I want to enjoy some personal moments with him’ my friend’s voice was laced with frustration.
‘Do you know when my husband does not look at me when I am talking with him I feel so used and unloved?’ her voice was resentful.
I am sure most of you could relate to the feelings of my friend.
Many of you never know the magic of direct eye contact with your spouse.
Do you know it works wonders in your relationship?
In the initial stages of your marriage you know the magic of direct eye contact with your spouse. So you are interested in noticing him\her.
You always look directly at your spouse when he\she communicates with you. But as years go by you scarcely look at your spouse.
‘Of course I look at my spouse when he\she talks with me’ you vehemently defend yourself.
I am sorry you never really understand the magic of direct eye contact with your spouse.
‘I have a big thing with eye contact, because I think as soon as you make eye contact with somebody, you see them, and they become valued and worthy.’ –Mary Lambert
How does your spouse feel when you do not have direct eye contact with him\her?
He\she feels unloved and uncared.
How does your spouse feel when you have direct eye contact with him\her?
- He\she feels loved and cared.
- He\she also feels valued by you.
It is as simple as that.
The other day I went to a shop.
I could not find what I wanted in the shelves. So, I asked the sales person about it.
He was busy with his mobile. He did not for a moment take his eyes off from his mobile.
‘You will get it after a week’ he mumbled without even looking at me.
I could feel my anger increasing. I left the shop vowing never to come back.
Why did I feel angry with the sales person?
His lack of eye contact with me showed that he had no customer care.
Direct eye contact with your spouse is very important in your marriage also.
When your relationship lacks direct eye contact you feel dejected and depressed that your spouse no longer feels excited about you.
There are times when your spouse is preoccupied with his\her work. When you demand his\her attention at that time he\she is naturally frustrated.
Your spouse might be watching his\her favorite movie\sports. Naturally when you talk with him\her he\she never takes his\her eyes off the screen.
These are all understandable. If this happens occasionally it does not impact your relationship badly.
But does your spouse persistently avoid direct eye contact with you?
Then something is gravely wrong with your relationship.
It is common to see the eyes of husband glued to his laptop than pause to look at his wife.
It is common to see wife talking to her husband with her eyes glued to her favorite soaps.
This scenario does not spell good for your relationship.
‘Look at me when you talk to me. Don’t answer me with your eyes on the TV’ my husband hissed at me in anger.
I was watching my favorite soap when he asked me something. I was totally engrossed in the drama that I answered him without looking at him.
‘I feel you do not love me enough when you do not look at me when I am talking to you’ my husband complained.
Since then, I always had direct eye contact with my husband whenever I talked with him. He too did the same to me. A very tiny trick which made both feel very loved and cared by each other.
Your eyes admire your car. Not your spouse.
You watch movies with your eyes shining with interest. But you have no interest to observe your spouse.
Your mobile seems to catch your total attention than your spouse.
Can these lifeless things interact with you with love?
You concentrate your total attention on something which has nothing with your relationship.
Why do you avoid direct eye contact with your spouse?
Family responsibilities overwhelm you that you are no longer interested in communicating with your spouse. As years go by you are at loss about topics to talk with him\her.
Beware of the danger of your relationship slipping into boredom.
This where the magic of direct eye contact with your spouse helps to revive your marriage.
When you notice your spouse he\she feels he\she has your total attention.
When your spouse observes your interest, he\she too focuses his\her attention on you. This brings in incredible love into your relationship.
Do you know there are simple ways to enjoy the magic of direct eye contact with your spouse?
- Have quality personal time together.
- Switch off your mobile phone. It is a great hindrance to your relationship.
- Don’t be addicted to TV. It is not as interesting as your spouse.
- Focus your total attention on your spouse.
- Be appreciative to the tiny things your spouse does for you.
- Turn your body towards him\her when he\she talks with you.
- Talk about pleasant things –Your spouse feels excited to talk to you.
- Pause from your work when your spouse comes to talk with you and look directly at him\her.
- When you are in a crowd, maintain direct eye contact with your spouse frequently. When you catch his\attention, give a loving smile. Your spouse loves it.
- Your eyes should display the love you have for him\her.
When you can watch movies without taking your eyes off from the screen, you can also easily observe your spouse without taking your eyes off him\her.
Having direct eye contact with your spouse is the secret to a happy marriage. It is the easiest way to transform your relationship into a haven of more and more love.