Do you know you often cheat your spouse in money matters?
Do you feel having extra marital affairs is the only way you cheat your spouse?
Cheating in marriage relationship has a much broader angle to it!
It means a lot of things.
Do you know you cheat your spouse in many ways?
- You cheat your spouse emotionally.
- You cheat your spouse by having extra marital affairs.
- You cheat your spouse financially also.
- You cheat your spouse by not supporting him\her when he\she is in dire need for it.
The impact of cheating in your married life is always severe and devastating.
Do you cheat your spouse in money matters? Most couples do it
When you cheat your spouse in money matters it is financial infidelity.
- You hide your true income
- You never confide to your spouse about your increment.
- You lend money to others without the knowledge of your spouse
- You have debts about which your spouse never knows.
- You sign as a guarantor to the loan of your friends\colleagues without your spouse knowing it.
- You have a secret bank account.
- You have hidden savings.
The list goes on and on!
When you cheat your spouse in money matters you unknowingly dig a grave for your marriage!
It is the death knell for your relationship!
‘In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to ‘until debt do us part’. –Sam Ewing
Do you know financial infidelity is the number one cause for bitterness, resentment and arguments between you and your spouse?
The problems that crop up due to your secretive money dealings instantly reflect in your relationship.
Financial infidelity turns your married life upside down. The mutual mudslinging between you destroys your relationship. You are sickened that your spouse could be so cunning to hide his\her debts from you. His\her backlog of credit card bills literally make you dazed with worry.
You mind seethes in anger that your spouse has made a fool of you by mishandling his\her finance behind your back.
When you do not confide about your money dealings to your spouse he\she feels cheated.
‘It was a terrible shock when I came to know that my husband was a guarantor to the huge loan his friend had borrowed from the bank.’ My close friend was tearful and inconsolable.
‘What happened’ I asked worryingly.
‘As his friend has failed to pay the loan, the onus of repaying the money has fallen on my husband.’
‘I am terrified we might lose our house. We haven’t spoken for weeks. He could have discussed it with me before signing the papers. I would have prevented him from making such a thoughtless blunder’ my friend choked with anger at the foolishness of her husband.
Why do you not discuss your money dealings with your spouse?
Why do hide your investments, savings and loans from your spouse?
The reason is this.
You earn lots of money, don’t you?
And naturally you want to be the master of your financial decisions.
You have certain expectations from your spouse regarding financial matters.
- You want mutual sharing of financial commitments from your spouse.
- You think it is unfair when your spouse insists you bear most of the financial burden of the family just because you earn a few dollars more than him\her.
- You are resentful when he\she restricts you from helping your parents financially.
- You hate it when your spouse ridicules you when you buy things you craved for.
When your spouse intrudes and interferes in all your money dealings, you feel annoyed and irritated.
It is after all your money, isn’t it?
You feel you have all the right in the world to be the decisive authority of your income.
You also want to have sumptuous balance in your bank account to make you feel comfortable and well endowed.
When your spouse demands that you pool in all the money you earn for family commitments, you are angry and frustrated.
‘I work hard and earn my income. I give my share towards the financial commitments of my family. But to ask for all my money is rather unfair. Instead of explaining my stand which my spouse never understands, I find it easy to hide my income from him\her’.
This is the common financial scenario of the modern money minded couples.
What happens when your spouse comes to know about your debts and other financial dealings which happened behind his\her back?
- It makes your relationship tense and frayed.
- You fight with your spouse as though you were enemies.
- You accuse each other of cheating.
- Your mudslinging includes accusations that your spouse is the reason behind the financial rut your family has fallen into.
You are married and the financial commitments of the family are mutual. Both should discuss about the ways to handle your income. You should divide your financial commitments equally and keep the remaining money for your personal needs.
Unless you have personal money you feel deprived and lost. When you do not have a penny you can call your own, it makes you very tensed and annoyed in your relationship.
You have your own private wishes, don’t you?
You should have that much of liberty to handle your money as you want to.
Money should give your family financial security.
It should not become a cheating game.
There should be no leeching and fleecing of the personal money by both. There should be transparency and frankness. There should be discussion and mutual decision. Money should make your family life stable and secure. Not a war zone.