Do you show favoritism to a particular child among your other children?
It is one of the gravest mistake most parents make. Favoritism to one child makes your other children jealous and insecure about your love. It also leads to the topmost relationship wrecker in families – sibling rivalry.
I still remember my childhood days. I was very close to my mother. I wanted me to be her favorite child. I can recollect the word by word conversation I had with her even though it happened some fifty years ago.
She was reading a book. I rested my head in her lap and smiled at her. She ruffled my hair affectionately. ‘Amma, who is your favorite child?’ I asked eagerly. I was very sure she would say it was me.
‘Your elder brother is my favorite because he is my first child’.
My face shrunk with disappointment.
‘Well, I have not finished yet. Your elder sister is also my favorite because she is my first girl baby.’ she smiled.
My heart churned with jealousy. She was not mentioning me at all.
‘I am not finished as yet. Your younger brother is my favorite because he is my youngest son. You are my favorite because you are my youngest daughter’ she finally concluded.
‘I love every one of you equally. You are all my adorable children’ she hugged me lovingly. I have never seen her show partiality to any one of us. She was a wonderful mother – very loving and caring. She treated each and every one of us with equal love.
So we siblings never felt jealous of each other. We still have excellent relationship between us. We support each other instantly in these days of sibling rivalry.
Are you wondering why I am telling you my story?
Lack of favoritism by my mother among us made our sibling relationship very secure and loving. If she had been partial I don’t think we would have been so united to this date.
Do you show favoritism among your children? Leads to sibling rivalry!
Favoritism is the number one cause for jealousy, indifference and complete lack of communication between siblings in their later years.
You never know that favoritism works havoc in the mind of your neglected child. I have seen families where one child is pampered as if he\she was their only child. The other child watches yearningly at his\her brother\sister getting all the loving attention of his\her parent.
You love all your children equally, but do not display your love with the same equality.
Lot of good things happen in your life when your child is born.
- You get your long due promotion.
- Your long dragging property issue is solved.
So you feel your child to be your lucky charm. He\she becomes your favorite.
You are sure good things happened in your life because of the luck of your favorite child. You show one sided favoritism to him\her. Your favorite child is treated royally. ‘My darling child has proved very lucky to me’ you literally make the child feel like a prince\princess.
His\her wishes becomes your duty. It becomes your first commitment. You go all out to fulfill his\her wishes.
Do you know there are parents who show favoritism to the child who is endowed with good looks than to the child who looks very ordinary and mediocre?
How can you show such callous favoritism among your own children?
Do you know where your favoritism leads to?
In my days it was assumed that brothers and sisters would always remain bonded because of their blood relationship. It is no longer so. Favoritism has destroyed siblings bond in a drastic manner.
What are the other reasons you show favoritism to one child?
- You show favoritism to one child when he\she earns more than his\her brother\sister.
- When your favorite child is very successful you literally bask in his\her glory.
- You are very proud of his\her extraordinary co-curricular talents.
Your favorite child is very intelligent whereas the other is rather dull and lack luster.
So you make hurting comparisons between both.
‘Why can’t you be as intelligent and smart as your brother\sister.’- Such hurting words literally destroys the tender world of your neglected child. In fact he\she hates his\her brother \sister.
I know many parents who buy costly dress for their favorite child and an ordinary one for the less favorite child.
You are playing a very dangerous game which could make your children enemies in the future. Treat your children equally. Make them understand that they should stand by each other in times of crisis. This is your foremost parental duty.