Emotional dependency makes you completely depend on others for your happiness.
In fact you spend most of your life seeking your happiness in others.
You feel over possessive about the persons you love. You want them to spend their time only with you. You want your spouse\children\friends totally focused on you.
Never ever do that.
You will be invariably disappointed.
Have you seen a child?
Why does a child keep smiling?
The answer is very simple.
A child is always joyful because he does not depend on others for his happiness. He finds pleasure and cheerfulness in his own tiny world.
Can you say the same thing about yourself?
You are emotionally dependent on your spouse\children\friends. You are utterly disappointed when your love is not reciprocated the way you like. You are always in fear of losing the love of your spouse\children.
This is the worst part of emotional dependency.
Aren’t you being foolish?
Stop this life wrecking habit.
You are going to get hurt throughout your life.
‘If you feel in your heart that it is way past due for a person to reciprocate the love you show them, it may be time for you to move on’ – unknown quotes
Emotional dependency is a life wrecker –Top 5 ways it destroys your happiness
1. You are too blindly in love with your spouse
Your emotional dependency begins from your spouse.
You are totally dependent on him\her to make you happy.
You are blindly in love with your spouse. You are disappointed when he\she does not return your love with your intensity.
You feel crushed and devastated. You feel your marriage is a failure.
You are wrong in feeling so.
- Love your spouse intensely, but not blindly.
- Never cling to him\her in overwhelming expectancy.
- Never shadow your spouse everywhere he\she goes.
- Being together 24\7 makes your married life very boring and suffocating. Both feel smothered.
- Do not cling to your spouse to make you feel fulfilled. Your satisfaction is in your hands.
- Have enough spacing between you.
Independence is the key to a happy marriage. Never lose your individuality. Be yourself.
2. Step away from your children before it hurts you
Are you a loving parent?
- You want your children to love you unconditionally.
- You want them to respect you.
- You want them to obey you.
- You want them to live your dreams.
- You are so possessive about your children that you want them to belong to you till the day you live.
Impossible expectations. It is not going to happen.
Your children are not going to be with you throughout your life. They have their own life to lead. They will grow up to have their own family.
Emotional dependency on your children makes your life torturous and nerve-wracking.
Take a step back from your children. Let them live their lives. Your children respect you for that. Be supportive to your children, but never cling to them in suppressing love.
3. You never know what true happiness means
What is true happiness in life?
You instantly say it is your family.
Right and wrong!
True happiness in your life is your family as they are your roots.
You cling to your family in the name of love.
Emotional dependency makes you very demanding and emotionally insecure. You want the total attention of your spouse and children. You smother them with your stifling love.
You get hurt and make your spouse\children upset and unhappy.
Do not be totally focused on your family alone. Give everyone the freedom to be themselves. Understand them from their point of view. Respect their individuality. This gives you true happiness.
Expand your world beyond your family.
4. You are disliked for your clinging attitude
Your spouse\children feel suffocated by your clinging attitude.
When you want them to behave according to your expectations they dislike your demanding nature.
How will you feel when your spouse literally clings to you without giving you your personal space?
You feel trodden and oppressed. Your mind screams for some spacing.
It is the same with your spouse\children too.
5. You never live your own life
You have many talents. But you do not bring it to the open because your emotional dependency makes you totally focused on people you love.
Your blind love blurs your vision about the outside world. You never know that you have your own world to live for.
Never forget your tiny own world. This world is where you really belong to. It all about your real wishes and desires.
Throw away the shroud of emotional dependency to experience the excitement of rediscovering your true self.
6. You lose your independence
What happens when you are a slave to your emotional dependency?
- You never have a mind of your own.
- You lose the drive to make your life worthwhile.
- You are often used and discarded by your own family.
- You become meek and submissive.
- You are trampled and stampeded throughout your life.
Too much independent attitude makes you selfish. But too much dependence makes you servile. Both are bad for your life.
Be self-sufficient. Know the trick to balance between your family and your individual life.
Make yourself lovable to your spouse\children by giving them freedom, spacing, courtesy and unconditional love.
Have your own ‘me time’ to really enjoy yourself.
Your life is your own. You came into this world all alone. When you go, you go alone. Love your family. And live for yourself. Do not depend on others for your happiness. Ever!