The emotional impact of infertility in your marriage makes you feel completely lost, doesn’t it?
‘Carrying a baby is the most rewarding experience a woman can enjoy.’- Jayne Mansfield
Carrying a baby in her womb is every woman’s dream. You too are no different. You want to hold your tiny bundle of delight in your arms very soon after your marriage.
Quite natural, isn’t it?
But when your dreams of a baby remains unfulfilled and unrealized, you are devastated.
‘I feel my world coming to my feel when I get my periods every month’ Asha, my cousin’s daughter tearfully told me.
‘I have tried all the new techniques but nothing has worked for me. All my friends have their own babies. When I see my friends as mothers, I feel so lost. Won’t I be able to become a mother, aunty?’ her sobbing question made me sad.
I could only pray for the girl. The emotional impact of infertility destroys your happiness in a worst possible way.
Waiting month after month for a positive result that you have conceived can be torturous. When you have your regular periods, your mind screams in agony and anguish.
You are shattered emotionally, aren’t you?
‘Why has this to happen to me?’ you ask yourself an umpteenth time.
Some forty years ago, infertility was not as common as it is now. There were only rare cases of infertile women.
But today infertility is a common problem among young couples. Your married life feels empty and lost without a baby of your own.
The emotional impact of infertility makes your married life tense and stressed when your dream of becoming a baby is delayed.
What could be the reasons for your infertility?
- Irregular periods.
- Low sperm quality- makes your husband feel dejected.
- Hormonal problems
- Age factor
We are not going into the medical aspect of infertility. We will just see the emotional impact of infertility in your life.
The emotional impact of infertility can be devastating as you are denied the bliss of motherhood
- You are unhappy when you attend the baby showers of your friends\relatives.
- You feel you are unlucky when you see pregnant women in many places.
- The probing and insensitive questions of your friends\relatives\colleagues make you depressed.
- ‘When are you going to tell us the happy news?’ – When you are asked this delicate question, you feel terribly hurt.
- Regular fertility treatments makes you sickly.
- Taking tests after tests mentally drains you.
- Waiting for a positive result makes you a nervous wreck.
- When your personal intimacy is discussed by the doctor, you feel edgy and uneasy.
- You become financially deprived as the fertility treatments literally drains your bank balance.
- When your sex life is planned by the doctor, you feel your privacy intruded upon.
- You feel frustrated that you had not planned your child when you were young.
- You are worried you would be medically unfit to become a mother as age is catching up with you.
- You have tense arguments with your husband because your stress level is at its peak.
The shattering emotional impact of infertility makes your relationship very argumentative and problematic. Both become a nervous wreck by the never ending tests you are compelled to undergo. The medical advice about your sex life by your doctors makes you feel naked.
Sex should be spontaneous for both to enjoy the intimacy. It should happen on its own. You should feel drawn to your husband and he should feel drawn towards you. This is what makes sex enjoyable.
But infertility intrudes into your sex life also. The fertility treatments compel you to have sex at specific times. This robs the enjoyment from your sexual life. You do not enjoy sex as the thought of becoming a parent plays havoc in your mind.
‘Will I be lucky this time’ this question robs the pleasure of your sexual life.
Dealing with the emotional impact of infertility as a team can help you overcome your depression.
- Realize that the impact of infertility affects both.
- Support each other emotionally.
- Don’t feel too stressed and depressed.
- Be patient and relaxed.
- Keep communicating with your husband. Never deviate from him. It will wreck your married life.
- Have a frank talk with your physician and follow his advice to the dot.
- Avoid thinking too much about your infertility as it makes your chances of conceiving more complicated.
- Overlook the insensitive questions of friends and relatives who asks curious questions about your infertility.
- Never lose hope.
- Be sexually active.
- Reduce your weight if you are obese. Being overweight can hamper your chances of becoming pregnant.
- Avoid junk food and eat healthy food.
- Avoid alcohol and drugs at any cost.
- Don’t play the accusing game, as it never helps.
- Don’t discuss your infertility with others, as you will be bombarded with wrong advice.
It is true both feel very lonely without a baby. Baby of your own makes your relationship branch out as a family.
Never ever, lose hope. Medical field has improved drastically. Be united in handling your infertility problem. Your love and hope will definitely make you a proud parent.