Do you know being emotionally intimate with your spouse spells the success of your married life?
But sadly in most marriages couples never really know the true meaning of emotional intimacy.
Physical intimacy is very fickle and feeble. It might give you intense pleasure but it in no way builds up your relationship. It is being emotionally intimate with your spouse that makes your married life stable and long-lasting.
How will you define your relationship with your spouse?
‘‘We work for the betterment of our family. We share our family commitments together. We love each other. We both are very responsible. Doesn’t these qualities show how emotionally intimate we are?’
Are you emotionally intimate with your spouse? Check it out
Working for the betterment of your family is your duty. Sharing family commitments with your spouse is your responsibility.
Emotional intimacy has a very different and intricate angle to it.
What exactly is emotional intimacy?
- It is the ease with which you interact with your spouse. You can talk about anything with your spouse without the fear of being ridiculed.
- It is the friendliness both share.
- It is the spontaneous support both give to each other.
- It is the enjoyment you feel in the company of your spouse.
- It is the protectiveness you feel towards him\her.
- It is the comfort you feel in each other’s company.
- It is the instant sharing of your inner most feelings.
Does your married life have all these beautiful elements?
I am sure most of you will say no.
After a few years of marriage your interaction with your spouse becomes lifeless and routine.
- You argue for petty reasons.
- You fail to notice the goodness of your spouse.
- There is complete lack of endearments in your interaction.
- Both live in your own world.
- You become secretive.
- You harbor many resentments against your spouse.
Very sad, isn’t it?
What do you do when you have some personal problems?
Your answer -‘I talk about it with my friends and parents.’
Why don’t you share your problems with your spouse?
‘Well, I do want to. But he\she will not listen to me at all. His\her indifferent reaction shows that he\she feels I am making much ado about nothing.’
A common scenario with most couples.
Why do you find it impossible to be emotionally intimate with your spouse?
The reason is simple.
Instead of turning towards your spouse, you turn away from him\her.
Why is it so?
- It is because you take each other for granted.
- You expect your spouse to behave in a way you like.
- You do not nurture your relationship.
- You never realize that your spouse is an individual.
- You intrude into the privacy of your spouse.
What is the nature of your interaction with your spouse?
It is sometimes indifferent. Sometimes bitter. Many a time there is complete stoic silence between you.
How do you define such marriages?
I would call it surviving marriages.
Are you bewildered as to what surviving marriages mean?
In such marriages you co-exist together in the same house, share your duties, work together and share your financial commitments.
Do you think these are the parameters of a happy married life?
Then you should feel happy and content with your relationship, shouldn’t you?
But this is not the case.
‘Mostly I feel very unhappy and unloved by my spouse’
There you are!
You are together physically in the same house. But you are emotionally wide apart.
There is no soul in your relationship.
A good married life should have the elements of love, care, respect, spacing and sharing. It comes only when you are emotionally intimate with your spouse.
‘If there is one such thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love’. – Michel di Montaigne
How to be emotionally intimate with your spouse?
- Empathize the feelings of your spouse.
- Enjoy his\her company.
- Never hide things from him\her. Transparency binds your relationship firmly.
- Discuss everything with your spouse.
- Do not criticize your spouse as he\she hates it.
- Your interaction with your spouse should be such that you do not have any reservations in pointing out his\her mistakes.
Topmost qualities which makes your relationship glow with contentment and love.
Your marriage will never fade or weaken.
Emotional intimacy is more eloquent and powerful than any other aspect of your marriage. When your spouse is your best supporter, the intense strength it gives you cannot be described. The happiness of being emotionally intimate with your spouse is a thrilling and blissful experience. You become the best friend of your spouse.
What is the result of emotional intimacy?
- There is an easy comrade between you and your spouse.
- You share your inner most feelings with him\her.
- You laugh together and tease each other.
- You share your personal thoughts with your spouse.
- When you have a problem you immediately lean towards your spouse as you are confident he\she will support you.
- You tease him\her without the fear of a bitter backlash.
- When you are in need of money you can ask him\her.
- When you have problems in your work, you confide in him\her.
Such friendliness between you paves way to intense happiness in your relationship.
How many of you have one such relationship with your spouse?
Only a handful, I am sure.
Is it very difficult to be emotionally intimate with your spouse?
Not at all!
As with friendship, your relationship with your spouse should be spontaneous and very open. Lean towards your spouse and not away. Each step towards your spouse brings in the most needed mantra for your marital happiness. Emotional intimacy.