Do you empathize your spouse to make him\her feel sheltered and cared in your relationship?
Mostly you don’t.
How sad!
Empathy is a powerful medicine which cures many ailments in your married life.
What does being empathetic in your relationship exactly mean?
Being sympathetic.
Being understanding.
Being compassionate.
Can your marriage survive without these qualities?
It cannot.
Empathize your spouse to make him\her feel sheltered and cared emotionally!
Do you know that there is yet another angle to empathy?
It is understanding your spouse from his\her viewpoint.
Don’t tell me you do not have the time to be emphatic with your spouse.
- You are very empathetic in your work place.
- You know the viewpoint of your colleagues perfectly.
- You understand the mindset of your boss with perfection.
- You are compassionate about the feelings of your friends.
But strangely you do not have the capacity to empathize your spouse.
‘I do not know what my spouse expects from me’.
Most of you are all at seas about what your spouse has in his\her mind.
Sad, isn’t it?
- Why do you never understand the inner needs of each other?
The answer is very simple.
You have no patience to empathize your spouse.
When there is no empathy in your relationship you are not happy and content.
In fact your mind rages in agony and anger against your spouse.
The beauty and success of marriage is when husband understands the viewpoint of his wife and wife understands the viewpoint of her husband.
Is it very difficult to empathize your spouse?
It is the simplest thing in the world.
You just need to cross over to the side of your spouse.
Do not think it is a physical crossing over. It is an emotional crossing over.
Yes.
This is what empathy in marriage is all about! The crossing over to the viewpoint of your spouse.
Shall I elaborate?
Is your spouse angry with you?
When your spouse is angry you immediately gear yourself up to retaliate in vengeance. You never think about the reasons for his\her anger.
If you empathize your spouse, you look at his\her anger from his\her viewpoint.
You now know that there are times you are in the wrong. Rectifying your mistakes works wonders to your marriage.
Is your spouse downcast and sad?
You are very causal about it and go about your work without caring a dime about the feelings of your spouse. Your attitude is completely lacking in empathy!
Cross over to his\her side to see what makes him\her so depressive.
Your empathetic understanding immediately makes your spouse feel cared by you. Your caring words make him\her come out of his\her depression very easily.
When you support your spouse in his\her times of need it cements your relationship with incredible happiness.
But invariably this does not happen.
Yes.
Sadly in your hectic lifestyle you never empathize your spouse.
Lack of empathy is one of the top reasons for failed marriages.
When you are always concentrated on your viewpoint you fail to see the aspects and characteristics which your spouse resents about you.
Most of you just live through your married life aimlessly. You never make any efforts to understand the inner needs of your spouse.
“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” –Ernest Hemingway
Do you know happiness in your married life depends on how well you inter connect with the inner needs of your spouse?
When you do not empathize your spouse, he\she feels like an orphan uncared, unattended and lonely.
When you lack empathy you feel you are always right and your spouse is always wrong. This makes you clash with your spouse as if he\she was an enemy. Your home becomes a battle ground with each trying to prove the other wrong.
Conclusion
Empathy is like a microscope. It has the capacity of penetrating deeply into the mind of your spouse. It reflects back to you what he\she expects from you.
It makes your home your true unwinding domain. A true sign of a successful married life.
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