Expectations vs reality in married life has many mind-blowing differences and disappointments in store for you.
Sometimes your intense disappointments about your spouse makes your marriage end in failure. This is a common modern marriage scenario.
The answer is simple.
Your expectations are based on your imagination about your spouse.
Imagination has no limits, isn’t it?
You weave many idealistic images about your spouse before marriage. He\she also more than fulfills your expectations before marriage.
Both put your best foot forward during your dating days that you are confirmed yours is going to an idealistic marriage.
But your expectations vs reality in married life has many shocking disillusionment in store for you. You sometimes find it difficult to cope up with it.
There were many qualities about your spouse which make you have dreams of a perfect marriage. But after marriage the qualities you admired in him\her is replaced by qualities you dislike.
Now the war between expectations vs reality in married life begins to shatter your mental peace.
1.Expectation about love before marriage
Ever green love
You are confirmed that your love for each other will never lose its sheen. You are sure that your rosy love days would continue throughout your married life.
Both whisper sweet nothings before marriage.
You spend many hours talking with each other before marriage.
You just cannot wait for your wedding day.
You take your marriage vows emotionally and feel on the top of the world.
Reality about love after marriage
Dried out love
Though you love each other, both do not have time to display it.
After marriage many responsibilities are thrust on you. You can no longer afford to be carefree.
Your concentration shifts from being lovey dovey to being committed to your family duties. Your spouse does the same.
This makes both feel frustrated, unloved and uncared. You are utterly disappointed that you have permanently lost the newness of your love.
2. Expectation about money before marriage
Money does not matter
In your crazy love for each other you do not attach great importance to money before marriage. You are emotional to feel your money belongs to your spouse also.
You are lavish in gifting your spouse. You lend money easily whenever he\she asks you.
You are sure money would never intrude into the love you have for each other.
Reality about money after marriage
Money does matter
After marriage you feel your spouse leeches you off your hard-earned money.
You feel your earnings are your own.
You think twice before spending for your spouse.
You are no longer interested in helping him\her financially.
You fight bitterly about sharing of financial commitments of your family.
3. Expectation about sex before marriage
Our sex life is going to be exciting
Before marriage you have great dreams about your sex life.
In the initial days of your marriage your sex life excites and thrills you. Both have regular sex.
You satisfy the sexual needs of your spouse with eager willingness.
Reality about sex after marriage
Our sex life is boring and routine
After a few years of marriage sex becomes a dull routine with you.
If at all you have sex it is very hurried and hasty. Nothing to feel excited about.
4. Expectation about relationship before marriage
I will never fight with my spouse
Before marriage you do not have any major issues with your spouse.
You do have arguments, but it is very mild and non-controversial.
You apologized when you were in the wrong.
You accepted the apology of your spouse instantly.
There was no bitterness and resentment in your interaction.
Reality about relationship after marriage
We have nothing in common
But after marriage you fight with your spouse day in and day out.
Whatever he\she does makes you feel irritated and annoyed.
You do not want to adjust to his\her minor faults.
You become accusing and complaining.
You never apologize as you feel you are always right.
You are so hostile towards your spouse that you do not talk with him\her for days.
5. Expectations about emotional support before marriage
I will always be supportive
Before marriage you feel upset when your spouse is upset.
You pacify him\her when he\she is downcast.
You have many consoling words to say.
Your spouse feels he\she has married the best person in the world.
Reality about emotional support after marriage
I just don’t care
After marriage you are not bothered when your spouse feels low.
You feel he\she makes much ado about nothing.
You have many hurting words to say.
You are never supportive or protective.
Expectations vs reality in married life is a shocking experience, isn’t it?
It is wrong to have too many expectations about your spouse as mostly it is very unrealistic. But you cannot be too practical in the name of reality that your spouse feels he\she has married a very wrong person.