Do you know you can easily be a good husband when you listen to your wife?
Are you wondering how?
Let us see an example!
Suppose you are talking before an audience!
How will you feel when you see the audience looking bored and listless when you are talking?
You lose your energy and enthusiasm.
But suppose the audience are keenly focused on what you are saying!
How will you feel now?
Your speech becomes powerful and commanding.
This is the super power of listening!
A good listener is a good husband
‘The first duty of love is to listen’ – Paul Tillich
Simple trick to being a good husband is listening to your wife- Lend your ears
What is your reaction if your wife looks elsewhere when you are talking with her?
You feel your wife does not respect and care for you!
You like your wife to listen to you, don’t you?
Then you should realize the simple fact that your wife too wants you to listen to her.
But the way you react to her interaction makes her feel used and uncared by you.
What mistakes do you make when your wife converses with you?
- You maintain stoic silence while she talks about her problems.
- If at all you listen your concentration is only halfhearted.
- You do not look at her.
- You mumble monosyllables- she hates it.
‘I might as well be talking to a wall’ your indifferent reactions makes her come to this negative conclusion about you.
You make your wife terribly hurt and emotionally wounded by your closed ears and clamped lips.
Why do you not want to listen to your wife?
- Your feel your wife invariably talks only about some serious family problems.
- You do not want get involved into issues which might create a big headache for you.
Aren’t you selfish in not giving your wife the much needed moral support?
When she talks about something which does not interest you, you show your disinterest by blatantly ignoring her. By not listening to her you make her feel ignored and neglected.
An ignored wife can be quite a handful!
You should understand that your wife comes to you with her problems because she feels that you will support and share her feelings.
- Does the topic she talks about not appeal to you?
- Do you feel she is making a mountain out of a mole?
She as a woman will always be emotional. Her relationship with you is charged with varied emotions. What interests her might not interest you! What bothers her might not bother you!
But listen to her.
She craves for your loving attention.
Do you know your body language tells her clearly that you do not listen to her at all?
- You look away when she is talking to you- your wife feels totally ignored.
- You utter monosyllables- absolutely signifies that you are only half listening to her.
- Your lips are pulled down in disdain- your wife feels that you are contemptuous to her emotions.
- You look straight ahead- makes her feel dejected and miserable.
- You hide your face pretending to read the paper- she feels gloomy.
Why do you refuse to interact with your wife?
- You want to escape from family problems.
- You want to side step from getting involved in family financial issues.
- You do not want to be caught in between family hassles.
- You ridicule her sensitivity.
Are you watching TV when your wife comes to you with some problem?
- Switch off the TV.
- It immediately conveys the message that she has your full attention.
- You should turn your body towards her.
- You should have direct eye contact with her- Eyes is a vital indicator of your thoughts.
- Your eyes should not shift its attention – shifty eyes speaks volumes of your disinterest.
- You should utter words of consolation.
- Hug her to show that you love her.
- You should laugh when she is witty.
- Do not cut short her conversation- it is the worst possible way to insult her.
Such simple tricks makes your wife feel she has married a loving and good husband.
Your listening is the key which makes your wife understand your love and care.
‘So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words , but also to the feeling if what is being conveyed , to the whole of it, not part of it’ – Jiddu Krishnamurthy.
How does a successful marriage happen?
It is when you listen to each other’s problems.
Your wife depends on you for her mental stability. She feels that she has a friend and guide in you when you share her thoughts and feelings. She loves you when you laugh in her joy and sympathize with her woes.
In her tense moments she needs a pillar of strength in you. Become her strength. It intensifies her love for you. She becomes emotionally thriving and psychologically close to you when you listen to her.