Sharing of household chores has become a literal battleground between couples.
Why?
Years ago it was thought that a wife should look after her family and do all the household chores by herself.
But today it is no longer so. Your wife wants you to share household chores equally with her.
She is right.
When you laze around while your poor wife slogs, she is naturally very furious at your insensitive attitude.
‘Can you bring me some water?’
I was in the kitchen when I heard my husband call out. I immediately rushed to him with a glass of water. The thought that my husband was ordering me never registered in my mind. I thought it was my duty as a good wife to do such small services to him. I am talking about my married life some thirty five years ago.
Can you imagine this happening in modern marriages?
How times have changed!
Women can no longer be taken for granted by her husband.
Are you a husband who thinks that your wife should slave at home while you do nothing?
Your modern wife will never accept it.
She often argues with you when you do not help her in household chores, doesn’t she?
Sharing household chores has become one of the top reasons for arguments between you.
It is surprising it is also one of the top reasons for divorce among modern couples.
Why does your wife demand your help in household chores?
During yester year’s husband was the sole earning member of the family. The wife stayed back at home to look after her family. She did her household work by herself. But she had time to relax till her husband and children returned home.
But modern woman has two duties combined.
An earning wife who contributes for the financial commitments of her family.
And also home maker who looks after her husband and children.
What does this lead to?
Your wife has no rest time at all. She slaves at her workplace and slogs at home also.
Your wife earns as good as you. She contributes equally to the financial betterment of your family. She does not depend on you for her personal needs as she has her own money.
Her financial independence has made her very confident and demanding.
This is the topmost reason why your wife demands equal rights in almost everything.
Her one such demand is that you should share her household chores.
Quite a normal wish, isn’t it?
You should be realistic to understand that you can no longer treat your wife as your maid born to do service to you. Remember that she is a highly independent individual.
With today’s inflation at its peak, your wife is the reason you live a comfortable life.
- You have a good standard of living.
- You live in a big bungalow.
- You drive around in a swanky car.
- You own all the latest modern electronic gadgets.
- You dine in high end restaurants.
- You are very fashionable and wear trendy dresses.
- You give your children the best education.
You cannot make all this happen with your earnings alone. You need the earnings of your wife for the financial well-being of your family.
Your wife works for the sake of the family.
Can you see how natural it is for your wife to expect you to share her household chores?
- She has work related stress just like you.
- She is tired and fatigued just like you.
- She needs rest just like you.
How can you expect her to slave in her workplace to come back to slave at home also?
Is she a machine to mechanically do her household chores without tiredness after a hectic day in her workplace?
Do you know you commit the worst ever blunder when you hide yourself behind the newspaper or plump yourself before the laptop\TV after returning from work?
Your tired wife literally fumes with frenzied anger at your callous behavior. This is the reason why she erupts in fury when you do not share her household chores.
You need her earnings for the betterment of the family, don’t you?
You do not have any prestige issue in accepting her financial help.
But why do you feel it demeaning to share her household work?
Your wife wants you to care and sympathize with her tiredness.
Do these simple things to make your wife feel cared and loved.
- Share her household chores willingly.
- Help her in looking after your children.
- Assist her in keeping the house clean.
- Give her reprieve from kitchen duty by showing your culinary talents.
Conclusion
Your wife loves you when you share her household chores. Change along with the changed trends in married life. Acknowledge that your wife is your equal partner and not your maid.
Dan Rondello says
That all well and fine, but why do the wives sometimes have this “right now”, “immediately” attitude about it. Why does this stuff faze them more? There have been times when I have been perfectly fine with doing my share, but if she notices it, she has to beat me to it, and do it right away, and I am guilt tripped for not doing something, not that I’m unwilling to do it, I just don’t see the harm in waiting on somethings. I’ve even offered to do things, said, “I would have done that.”, but it’s like a timer has been set. Maybe I need to give her specific times when I’ll do whatever it is. But I just wish that I could be trusted to do it , when I say I will. On the occasions where I said I’d do something, without her making an issue out of it, I always have.
Mathi says
Hi Dan,
Your wife is creating an issue out of your help because of the delay you make in coming to help her. As a woman your wife wants her household work to be complete without any leftover work. When you delay and dither, your wife is not sure whether you will really help her in her work. So, she does the work you promised to do. And in her anger for your delay your wife might sound irritable and annoyed.
But if you had been prompt in helping your wife, she would definitely have appreciated your help.
Why do you want to delay helping your wife?
Your instant help would have made her relaxed that all the work is done with.
And suppose you do not help her, the delayed work meant some more hours of slogging.