Mostly you never apologize to your spouse even after uttering words which terribly hurt him\her.
Do you know that unless you apologize to your spouse, he\she becomes a storehouse of resentment and bitterness against you?
There are many reasons why you never apologize to your spouse.
- You take it for granted that your spouse should forget and forgive your display of anger.
- You are not bothered about his\her feelings as you are sure you did nothing wrong.
- You are egoistic and inconsiderate towards the feelings of your spouse.
Insensitive attitude on your part, isn’t it?
You definitely know that the fight you had with your spouse has made him\her resentful and bitter against you. But you never make any efforts to pacify him\her.
Instead, you add fuel to fire by wandering about as if nothing happened. Your wildly angry spouse fumes and frets at your uncaring attitude.
Do you know how much lack of apology affects your relationship?
In fact, it can become a serious marriage wrecker.
‘The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and for deeds left undone.’ –Harriet Beecher Stowe
It is true that words said in anger has no meaning. It is a momentary flash of temperament. But you cannot let your behavior go unexplained to your spouse.
Unless you apologize to your spouse, the resentment caused by your harsh words makes negative inroads into your relationship.
When there is no proper and appropriate explanation for your unpleasant behavior, your spouse emotionally drifts away from you.
Never allow this to happen to your marriage.
You have a trouble shooter in your hand to pacify your spouse. It has the incredible ability to untie the harm you had done to your relationship by your unthinking arguments and fights.
Are you wondering what it is?
It is your apology to your spouse.
‘I never expect my colleagues\relatives\friends to apologize to me,’ you might well argue.
Why is it you overlook the hurt others inflict on you?
How is it you do not expect any apology from them?
When your colleagues\friends\relatives say hurting words you easily forget it, as they mean nothing to you emotionally.
But your relationship with your spouse is emotional, committed, and responsible. It is close to your heart. You have great expectations about your spouse. You want him\her to love you.
This is the reason you feel terrible and miserable when your spouse coolly walks away without apologizing to you after a bitter fight.
You do understand that arguments and fights are part of your marriage.
But you feel very unhappy and depressed when your spouse ignores your sensitivity, don’t you?
You are enraged when your spouse never apologizes to you. Your spouse also never realizes that a few understanding words can soothe your bitterness.
When your spouse apologizes, you feel completely relieved of your hurt emotions. You forget and forgive him\her easily and instantly.
But both are egoistic to apologize to each other.
‘Let him\her apologize. Why should I bend my knees before him\her? I did nothing wrong’.
When you do not apologize to your spouse, the bitterness felt snowballs into a major relationship destroyer as years go by.
Let go your unnecessary ego. Your ego will not in any way be bruised when you apologize to your spouse.
Suppose you tread on someone.
You never go away without apologizing, do you?
It is because you want to be known as a man\woman of character.
Shall we look at an example?
You promise to take your spouse out. But you are held up by unexpected workload and you break your promise. Nothing wrong in your part. When your spouse questions you about your promise, you heat up and generally create a scene to justify your forgotten promise.
But you never explain the reason behind the broken promise. You never apologize for the denied expectations of your spouse.
Are you wondering at the right ways to apologize to your spouse after a bitter fight?
1. Be sincere in your apology
If your apology is artificial, your spouse never accepts it.
When you apologize, your voice should be sincere and honest. The message that your apology is genuine should be conveyed to your spouse.
If you mumble some innocuous words, your spouse overlooks your apology as superficial.
Apologetic words accompanied by a hug has a great pacifying effect.
2. Take responsibility for the bitter fight
If you were the reason behind the fight, take responsibility.
Explain why you were angry.
Promise that you would never repeat the mistake again.
Your spouse likes it when you own up your mistakes.
3. Be patient
Do not expect your spouse to instantly accept your apology.
You have to wait patiently for his\her anger to subside.
Do not impatiently flare up again if your spouse takes his\her time to forgive you.
4. Go out together
After you apologize to your spouse, go out with him\her. It makes the outing very exciting as both want to prove that you have overlooked the bitterness of your fight.
You can go for a long walk.
You can go to a movie.
You can go shopping.
A change from the place of your fight lessens your anger in a very telling manner.
5. Utter words of love
‘I am sorry’ – such simple words, isn’t it?
But it works wonders in your relationship.
‘I love you’ words which instantly makes your spouse forget his\her anger.
‘I was in the wrong’ your accepting words makes your spouse wonder why both fought at all.
‘This will not happen again’ these words clearly shows that you are intent on rectifying yourself.
Can you see how a sincere apology can do wonders to your marriage?