Being flexible and adjustable in married life is an aspect mostly ignored by modern couples.
This is the topmost reason why you don’t enjoy your married life. You blame your spouse for your unhappiness and he\she blames you.
Why does his happen in most marriages?
- It is because you are not adjustable and flexible in your relationship.
- You are rigid in your attitude towards your spouse.
- You want things done your way.
- Your spouse wants it done his\her way.
- Neither is ready to give in.
- The result is bitter arguments and ugly quarrels between you.
When you are too focused on your own wishful thinking, your mind becomes rigid and unyielding in your interaction with your spouse. This rigidity in your married life makes you feel jailed and caged. You gasp for some freedom and liberty.
What is the nature of rigidity?
Its characteristic is stiffness and severity!
This quality kills your marriage relationship!
What happens when you are not flexible and adjustable in married life?
- There is no freedom of expression between you.
- You cannot do anything without the permission of your spouse.
- Your emotions are suppressed unreasonably by your spouse.
- You cannot be yourself as you have to tow the line drawn by him\her.
- You cannot have any of your wishes fulfilled.
- Both are ready to fight rather than give in!
- You want things done your way!
- And your spouse wants it done his\her way!
- Neither is ready to make adjustments!
Do you find the above scenario happening in your married life also?
I am sure you do! It is because many couples do not know the beauty of being flexible and adjustable in married life.
What is the nature of flexibility and adjustability?
It is pliable! It has elasticity! It is unbreakable!
So be flexible and adjustable in married life. These qualities brings you emotionally close to each other.
‘There are two types of minds – the mathematical, and what might be called the intuitive. The former arrives at its views slowly, but they are firm and rigid; the latter is endowed with greater flexibility and applies itself simultaneously to the dive.’ Blaise Pascal
Have you observed water?
It has no shape or form! It fits easily into whatever container you put it into.
Your relationship should also have the quality of water.
Very flexible and adjustable.
Have you also watched the flow of water in a river?
The water turns towards the curve, straightens when the course is straight, bubbles over the rock and flows according to the course of the river. A delight to watch!
Your relationship with your spouse should also be like water in the river!
Very pliable and easy flowing!
Can iron have the flexibility of water?
Can it flow fluidly?
Can it fit into a container?
Why is it so?
The rigidity of iron makes it impossible to be pliable and flexible.
Most modern marriage relationships are as rigid and hard as iron. Not worth any happiness.
I still remember the relationship between my grandfather and grandmother. My grandmother enjoyed so much freedom as my grandfather was very flexible in his attitude towards her. It makes me smile when I think of the liberty she had in those days of male domination.
‘You have to have the flexibility of grass in marriage relationship’ my eighty year old mother told me.
I looked bewildered at her.
‘When there is a hurricane, the big trees are uprooted by the velocity of the wind. But the grass moves according to direction of the wind and survives,’ she stressed.
‘Do you know why?’ she continued
‘It is because of its flexibility. The big trees are too rigid to withstand the fierceness of the wind and are easily felled’ she further elaborated.
‘Modern couples know how to earn lots of money. They maintain a fantastic standard of living. But they know nothing about the importance of being flexible and adjustable in marriage. It is sad to see couples being rigid in their relationship’ she concluded.
Well, my mother had a very relevant point there.
Top ways to be flexible and adjustable in married life
- When your spouse is temperamental, you should adjust!
- When you are in your angry elements, it is his\her turn to adjust!
- You want to go for a movie, but your spouse wants to go shopping. Your flexible nature make you relent to his\her wish!
- You want to buy something you had always craved for. Your spouse indulges!
- He\she wants a day out with his\her friends. You allow!
- You are tired and your spouse looks after the children.
- You are off mood and your spouse understandingly gives you the much needed privacy.
- You want to watch your favorite TV show and your spouse willingly hands you the remote.
Imagine the happiness you enjoy with your spouse when both indulge each other!
Your relationship has the qualities of water. Both fit into each other’s mood. The topmost quality of a happy couple!
But are you unyielding attitude towards your spouse?
Your married life is like a rope pulled too tautly.
A too tightly pulled rope snaps, doesn’t it?
Your relationship also breaks and snaps when there is too much strictness and restrictions.
When your emotions are trampled ruthlessly by your spouse all that is left in your marriage is frustration and disappointment.
Your relationship with your spouse should be easy and not taut.
Give your relationship a breather which comes only when you are flexible and adjustable in marriage.