Are you wondering how to look after your husband after you have a baby?
You feel tired and weary after your delivery. Looking after the ever demanding needs of your baby drains your energy. Sleepless nights of changing nappies, feeding the baby and cajoling him to sleep makes your whole life turn topsy turvy.
You feel your care free life gone forever. You become very concentrated on your baby. Your world now revolves around your baby. Your husband becomes secondary to you.
Does your husband feel lost at your changed attitude towards him after you have a baby?
He does!
Why?
You have thousands of dreams about your baby. You want to be an exemplary mother. But in your eagerness to be a good mother, you forget that your husband feels lost and lonely when you treat him with scanty care.
You feel lots of changes in your behavior towards your husband.
- You no longer feel indulgent to the laziness of your husband.
- You feel irritated when your husband demands your attention.
- You become totally disinterested in sex.
- You feel your husband is callous in making you do all the household chores.
You are famished by the work load looking after your baby brings in. You have to spend sleepless nights looking after the baby. You feel drained and fatigued in the morning. The thought of going for work unnerves you.
It is very true that your baby makes your marriage bond stronger. But when your attention is totally on the baby, you lose interest in attending to the needs of your husband.
‘Having a baby is a life changer. It gives you a whole other perspective on why you wake up every day- Taylor Hanson
You have lots of mood swings. Happiness, pride, fulfillment compete with sleeplessness, family responsibilities, tiredness, work tension and finally the all-important duty of looking after the baby.
When your total focus is on the baby, you forget that you have your duties as a loving wife.
Your husband has lots of complaints about you.
- You look disheveled and shabby.
- You do not look presentable.
- You do not keep the house clean.
- You become flabby and plump.
- You lose interest in cooking his favorite dishes.
- You do not satisfy his physical hunger.
You do not commit these mistakes deliberately. The sleepless nights of looking after your baby makes you physically listless and tired. Your body becomes lethargic while your mind is inactive. All you want is some rest and sleep.
Your tiredness makes the interaction with your husband very argumentative and quarrelsome. You feel that your husband does not understand you. You also feel that he is demanding and callous towards you.
Do you know that your husband feels peevish and irritable that you do not spend enough time with him after the birth of your baby?
You forget that your husband too needs your attention.
How to look after your husband after you have a baby?
- You should never let go your physical appearance.
- You should look presentable before him.
- Do not think looking after your baby as a tiresome work, but as a delight.
- After your body returns to normalcy you should give your husband his much needed physical pleasure.
- Draw him towards you by cooking his favorite dish.
- You should never let him fend for himself while you spend most of your time with your baby.
- You should involve him in bringing up the baby.
- Appreciate him when he changes nappies. Now you have an eager father who adores doing such delightful duties to his baby!
- Discussing the mischiefs of your baby gives both incredible pleasure.
- Talking about the future of your baby brings you emotionally closer.
Do not lose the interest to spend quality time with your husband amidst your concentration of changing nappies and feeding the baby. Your baby should not alienate you from your husband.
It is very true that you are fatigued by sleepless nights and by the highly exhaustive needs of your baby. But married life is not your baby alone, is it? It also involves your husband. He too needs your attention.
Your husband inwardly sulks in resentment that you are no longer interested in giving him sexual pleasure.
The ever growing financial expenses also has a telling effect on your relationship. The need for money grows three fold.
When there is paucity of funds you are worried about the future of your baby. Bringing up the baby is also a topic of heated arguments.
Forget such worries!
Parenthood has its own share of responsibilities and commitments. Your baby has made you proud parents. He has given you the pleasurable experience of branching out as a family. Love it! Treasure it! Cherish it!
Rae says
This is sad coming from a woman and so called therapist.
This is sexist information .your husband is not a dependent child with a fragile ego…or is he ?.
Perhaps if he was as busy cooking cleaning changing nappies and looking after you, the breast feeding mother….he would be to tired to notice that you didn’t brush your hair or if he is like my lovely husband he would cuddle you and brush your hair for you…..Ladies this is 2020 set your sights a little higher .
Mathi says
Hi Rae,
I appreciate your diversified perception.