Do you spend quality time with your spouse at home?
Life has become very hectic as you have to be on your toes to keep pace with others. Work related tension creates havoc in your temperament and you always feel stressed and tensed.
It is indeed sad that you reflect your tension in your relationship also. Instead of making your marriage blossom with love and care you make your married life nightmarish by your negative interactions with your spouse.
‘’A marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s the way you love your partner everyday.” -Barbara De Angelis
Your time at home is either confrontational or non- communicative.
Why does this happen to your relationship?
It is because you do not spend quality time with your spouse.
It is your emotional and intimate interaction with your spouse and children.
‘How can I spend quality time with my family when I am famished and drained by outside pressures?’
Fair enough argument!
‘When I am home I want some rest. If I talk with my spouse unnecessary arguments spring up. It affects my mental peace. So my interaction with him\her is often very routine and ordinary’ you insist.
Not a fair enough argument!
Shall we do a simple mathematics?
You can divide 1 day of your married life into three segments.
- You working time is about 9 hours.
- Your commuting time takes around 2 1\2 hours.
- Your sleeping time is roughly around 7 hours.
- The total hours you are away from your spouse is around 18 to 19 hours.
Deduct that 19 hours from the 24 hours of the day.
The virtual time you spend with your spouse is just about 5 hours.
This small segment of time you spend with your spouse is full of arguments and fights.
Why?
You have to earn a lot to maintain a good standard of living. Both work with a passion to succeed in life. But your passion and dedication is concentrated only on earning money. You fail to make your marriage a success by your unwillingness to spend quality time with your spouse.
How can you enjoy happiness if you live your married life without spending fun moments with your spouse?
How do you spend your time with your spouse before starting for work?
- You are highly strung up and tensed to leave for work in time
- Your children make you edgy by taking their own sweet time in getting ready for school.
- You yell at them to be quick.
- You crib that your spouse is not helpful and responsible.
- Your spouse retorts back with vengeance.
- You start a big argument with your spouse digging up old fights and arguments.
- Both feel annoyed and irritated when you start from home.
You call this morning tension. Morning tension has become a common scenario of modern marriages. You invariably cite your work related tension for your morning arguments and fights.
How to spend quality time in the morning?
- Wake up early so that you can start for work leisurely.
- Spend a few moments of intimate conversation with your spouse.
- Keep everything {your dress, accessories, shoes, socks, car keys} in one place. It saves you lots of unwanted tension.
- Share your household chores.
- Pick up the things strewn around as you do your work – this simple trick keeps the house organized.
- Start early for work.
You will be surprised how much relaxed you are when you share your work.
What do you do when you return from work?
- You open your laptop to finish your pending office work.
- You sit before the TV to watch your favorite program.
- Your children play video games.
- You do not have time to interact with your spouse.
- You are more than ready to start an argument with him\her.
- If at all you interact with each other it is a dull conversation as to what should be done for the betterment of the family.
- Silence rules your home.
When you return home from work, you carry your work related tension with you. You literally feel your nerves creeping in pent up anger and frustration. Your mind seethes with frustrated anger at the snobbish attitude of the management. Body and mental tiredness can be a lethal combination. You shout and yell at each other for no valid reason.
When you do not communicate with your spouse in love there is nothing exciting in your relationship. You feel isolated and alone. Both sulk in different corners.
A danger signal to your marriage!
Where did the quality aspect of your marriage go?
Why is your interaction with your spouse so tensed and stressed at home?
‘He\she never understand my pressures. He\she does not have the patience to listen to me. But he\she is more than ready to pick up fights with me. This is the reason why I find it easy to watch TV or browse the net. It is lot safer and less tensed.’
How to spend quality time with your spouse at home?
- Do not start conversation with your spouse as soon as you enter your house as your emotions are still raw and vivid with work tension.
- When you start your conversation immediately as you enter home, you either spurt out with tension or speak tactlessly to provoke your spouse.
- You should give yourself and your spouse time to relax.
- You should make yourself neat by having a refreshing bath. It takes away your physical tiredness immediately.
- You should observe the mood of your spouse.
- When you see your spouse looking tensed and strung up, stay away from him\her to give him\her time to relax.
- After sometime you should gently ask the reason behind his\her tension. Console him\her with kind words.
- You should comfort your spouse that he\she has the capacity to overcome any problems he\she might face in work.
- You should now completely divert the conversation to fun and humor.
- Share what happened in the office and make fun of the incident which caused so much tension in you.
- When you do that you can visibly feel yourself relaxing.
- You should include your children in your conversation and ask about their day in school\college.
- Eat your dinner together and enjoy the precious moments together as a family.
Retire to bed with your mind relaxed. Tension and problems come and go. Quality time with your spouse gives your married life freshness and newness. The success of your marriage drastically needs it.
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