You nowadays opt for marriage counselling for almost all your relationship problems, don’t you?
This has become the trend of modern marriages.
Why don’t you make efforts to solve your personal problems between yourself?
Why do you feel marriage counselling will work wonders to your relationship?
It is because you allow your relationship problems to escalate beyond the danger level. When everything goes wrong in your relationship you rush to a marriage counselor expecting a miracle to save your marriage.
Who exactly is a marriage counselor?
- He is a mental health practitioner who guides couples to improve their relationship.
- He points out exactly where your relationship is going wrong.
- He guides you about the ways to make adjustments with your spouse to create a better married life.
- He is a teacher of relationship who knows what is right and wrong in married life.
But he cannot live through your marriage. You have to live it. Your spouse has to live it.
You spend thousands of dollars on your marriage counselling. A complete waste of money.
Why do you want to spend your hard earned money on a problem which can be solved only by you?
“You don’t marry one person; you marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as a result of being married to you.” -Richard Needham
It is sad to see marriage counseling becoming a fad among couples of modern society. Marriage counselors were quite unheard of during our times. It was rare to see couples seeking marital advice from someone else to handle their relationship problems.
Why has the scenario completely changed today?
Why do you see a spurt of marriage counselors in recent times?
It is because you do not have the patience to sort out your relationship problems with your spouse.
Marriage counselling is just a theoretical advice. It is not a permanent solution to your problems.
Marriage is a practical and living experience. Theory has nothing to do with it. It is you who have to mold and chisel your marriage.
The concept of marriage has undergone a sea of changes over the years.
- Women have become financially independent.
- They demand equal rights.
- The money you earn is astounding.
- Your lifestyle is amazing.
- The standard of living you enjoy was not even dreamed by us.
But with the elevation of your status symbol, other unwanted factors have crept into your relationship.
Intolerance, incompatibility, indifference, ego clashes and war of bitter words have become the common scenario of your married life.
Sad isn’t it?
You want your spouse to do things as you want to.
Are you and your spouse a Xerox copy of each other that you should be a perfect replica of him\her?
Can you point out one single couple in the whole world who have the same thoughts, the same desires and the same tastes?
Why is it so?
Tastes and desires always differ from person to person. There is nothing wrong in it.
But strangely you never agree that difference of opinion is part and parcel of your married life. The minor differences in your relationship makes you feel you have married a wrong person.
You do not spend time to sort out your differences with your spouse.
Instead you feel that you need the advice of an expert to guide you about the tricks to retrieve your marriage from failure.
What are your common your relationship problems?
- You make a big issue out of your diversified ideas regarding the brands of the things you buy.
- You clash about the future of your children
- You fight about sharing mutual financial commitments.
- You create lot of fuss about your in-laws
- You hate the friends of your spouse as you feel they instigate him\her against you.
- You fight for the remote- both want to watch your own favorite shows.
- You do not support each other emotionally.
- You argue bitterly with your spouse about sharing household chores.
- You do not spend quality time together.
- You do not pool out your spouse out of his\her financial mess.
These are just a few issues you face in your married life.
Look keenly at the list.
Is there any problem that is so serious that it warrants counseling?
These are common problems almost all couples face. It can easily be handled by you if you really love each other.
Your love made you marry your spouse. Your initial days of marriage was idealistic as everything about your spouse excited you. But as days go by your responsibilities pile up. You feel stressed and tensed by the most innocuous relationship problems.
Both fight like enemies to prove the other wrong. You convert minor problems into major marriage wreckers. Your intolerance makes your married life cross the danger level.
Why do you seek a marriage counselor?
- When you see your married life fast plunging into failure you want a rescuer to retrieve your marriage from the mess created by both.
- You feel that your relationship drastically needs some psychological counselling.
- So you fix an appointment with a marriage counselor.
- He pinpoints the mistakes you make.
- He offers solutions to make your marriage survive.
- You listen intently to his suggestions.
- You feel all your problems will be solved here afterwards.
- You pay the exorbitant fees he charges.
You find lots of positive changes in your interaction with your spouse after the counseling. But it is only for a few days. Soon you find yourself doing the same mistakes again and again. Your spouse also displays the same hostile reaction.
The final net result of your marriage counselling becomes null and void.
Why couldn’t marriage counselling give you permanent solutions to your relationship problems?
A marriage counselor is a third party in your relationship. His views about marriage is always theoretical.
Marriage counselors are experts in human relationships. They are proficient about the ways to solve them. They want you to rectify your mistakes so that you lead a happy married life.
But every marriage is different. Every couples are different. Every marital problems is different. When a third person analyzes your marriage his guidance is always mechanical and routine. He can at best identify your mistakes.
A marriage counselor is a doctor to relationship problems.
But relationship problems are not like illness. It is mind related and generated from within you. No one knows better than you about the ways to deal with your relationship problems.
- The changes they suggest should come from you.
- Relationship problems are always best solved when it is tackled by both.
- A friendly discussion with your spouse can save you thousands of dollars you pay for a marriage counselor.
Your spouse is your life partner. Your relationship problems are always temporary. It just needs your attention. Make all your differences disappear by sorting out your problems amicably between you.
You sure to make your relationship a success without marriage counseling.