You unknowingly commit many drastic marriage mistakes that literally pushes your relationship towards divorce.
Divorce.
Does this thought enter your mind when you marry your spouse?
Never.
You love your spouse intensely and want your marriage to last forever. You feel very emotional and caring towards him\her in the initial glow of your love.
But after a few years of marriage you lose fervent love for your spouse.
Sad, isn’t it?
What makes you lose interest in your married life?
Where does the compatibility of your love days disappear?
Why does interaction with your spouse become very listless and lifeless as years go by?
Why do you finally opt for divorce?
The reason is simple.
After the early freshness of your marriage wears off, you are exposed to another side of your spouse.
A very negative side.
- There are many things about him\her you dislike.
- He\she is not as loving as you thought he\she would be.
- He\she is indifferent to your feelings.
- He\she does not excite you anymore.
- His\her habits make you edgy.
You take these minor differences too much to heart. You gradually feel that marrying your spouse was the greatest blunder you had ever made.
Why do you make marriage mistakes?
- You expect your marriage to be a success without working towards it.
- You feel your love would remain the same without nurturing it.
- You buckle under the pressure of family issues that seems never ending.
- You do not have the mindset to overlook minor faults of your spouse.
- You take your spouse for granted.
- You mentally crumble under your work related tension.
- You are very intolerant.
- Both indulge in mutual mudslinging.
- Both are adamant.
- Both do not have the patience to understand each other.
- There is no mutual respect between you.
Do you know many couples commit these marriage mistakes in some stage of their married life?
You too are no different.
Do you know it takes years for your marriage to mellow and mature?
But you never realize it. You are not ready to wait for your marriage to settle down.
Complete lack of understanding between you slowly and steadily makes the finality of your marriage a reality.
Marriage mistakes literally shakes the foundation of your relationship
1. Indifference
Why are you indifferent towards your spouse?
- There is no emotional intimacy between you.
- You are stressed and tensed by your relationship issues and take it upon your spouse.
- You do not like to spend time together.
- You do not support your spouse in his\her times of need.
- You are very concentrated on the minor differences you have with your spouse.
- You are disinterested in sex.
Such indifferent mentality kills your marriage.
When there is no love in your relationship your married life is in shambles. Indifference makes you heartless and unfeeling towards your spouse.
This is topmost of the marriage mistakes you often commit.
2. Infidelity
Loyalty towards your spouse is an essential ingredient to a good marriage. Extra marital affairs are always temporary but the damage it does to your relationship is immense.
- Do you jump into casual affairs thinking that your spouse will never know about it?
- Do you know that you cheat your spouse because of your physical hunger which is always fleeting and fickle?
- The inevitable end to infidelity is shame and regret.
Your spouse cannot accept the fact that you cheated behind his\her back. He\she will settle for nothing less than a divorce.
Unacceptable among marriage mistakes, isn’t it?
3. Taking your spouse for granted
Marriage relationship becomes tiresome and boring when you take your spouse for granted.
- You think your spouse is duty bound towards you.
- You want him\her to forgo his\her individuality.
- You never realize your spouse needs his\her own spacing.
- When you time and again overlook his\her individuality it brings in resentment and discontentment into your relationship.
When you coolly overlook the contribution of your spouse towards the family he\she feels it is a major cause for divorce.
4. Too much expectations
You feel dreamy and idealistic about your spouse when you marry him\her. Your anticipation is based on your expectations. You fail to understand that your expectations might not realize.
- Why should you expect your spouse to be according to your dreams?
- Why do you dream that your married life would be smooth and problem free?
- Why do you think that your love days would continue throughout your relationship?
Married life is not as easy as you imagine. It is an emotional battle throughout your life. Unless you forgo your unrealistic expectations and become a little practical your relationship cannot survive.
5. Physical and verbal abuse
When there is no respect in your relationship, your marriage soon loses its worth.
Mild arguments are very common and natural in any marriage. They are temporary flashes of anger due to the situational stress you feel.
- But when you harm your spouse physically with the intention of wounding him\her there can be no hope for your marriage.
- Hurting and degrading words makes your relationship very tense and oppressive.
Divorce is easily avoidable when you respect your spouse for what he\she is. When you consistently overlook your spouse, your marriage meets its inevitable end in the divorce court.
shreya says
This article is very much important for those who are under going with certain issues. They should have a balanced life..
shreya says
The points mentioned are absolutely correct and perfect. To avoid any nuisance in a relationship like daily arguments and divorce the best possible way is to be cooperative enough with your better half and try to resolve the issues calmly. Liked reading each and every point of the post. Thank u for the share.
Avinash says
Really very impressive Mathi. I have a lots of things to tell you in this comment. Firstly the world of blogging is expanding so well through out the world as well as India , I am truly very happy to see. Secondly the niche you have chosen is splendid. I being a sports author. I feel this is a great blog. I have had my sister divorced. It is one of the saddest thing for my family and me. She is the one whom I love the most in this world. All the things you described are true and I appreciate it from heart in your skills of writing. But in many a case where we have typical arranged marriage we dnt know the guy or the girl. Some marry for benefits and some are so spoiled that they can’t be recovered. I dnt want to elaborate simply speaking he was a Drug Addict. Thanks
Sony says
Hi mathi,
I really liked your blog. The insights you have on marital problems is truly realistic and practical. I found them very helpful. I was on the verse of seeking for divorce and after reading your blogs I feel ‘well there is still some hope after all’. I have been practiting the advices you gave on your blog but but my husband still seems as closed off and indifferent as ever. But hopefully he will notice my efforts and try to work on our marriage, thanks anyways. I will be following your blogs loyally!
Mathi says
Sony,
I felt happy that you liked my posts. It is very difficult to build up a relationship. It takes tons of patience and understanding. You will always feel happy when you make efforts to make your marriage work. There is no perfect marriage anywhere in this world. Be patient and loving with your husband. When you win his trust he will definitely reciprocate your love.