Being married to a pessimistic and gloomy spouse makes you a very unlucky person.
Because your spouse is negativity personified.
He\she makes you feel miserable by talking on and on about destructive things.
He\she always sports a dejected and depressed look.
His\her thoughts are always undesirable and unenthusiastic.
Living with a pessimistic and gloomy spouse is a very nerve-wracking experience.
You need compatibility, care, support and encouraging words from your spouse to enjoy a happy married life.
But when your spouse is very negative, he\she makes your marriage lifeless, aimless and worthless.
What are the characteristics of a pessimistic and gloomy spouse?
- Your spouse acts like the ever suffering martyr.
- He\she plays the accusing game to the hilt.
- Your pessimistic and gloomy spouse always accuses you as the sole reason behind any mishaps in the family.
- You cannot discuss family issues with your spouse as he\she is not ready to listen to your viewpoint.
- He\she always sees things from his\her viewpoint.
- Your negative spouse wants you to act according to his\her self-centered wishes.
- He\she makes your interaction oppressive by being cribbing and complaining.
- Your depressive spouse consistently argues and fights with you.
- He\she never sees the positive side of anything.
- Your gloomy spouse always has extreme mood swings.
- He\she makes your life torturous by being selfish and mean.
- There is no humor or fun in your married life.
- He\she always cribs about nonexistent issues.
- Your pessimistic spouse threatens of suicide and other dire consequences if you do not listen to him\her.
- He\she sees unhappiness in happiness.
- He\she sees failures in success.
- He\she sees the negative more than the positive.
- He\she wants to crib about problems rather than interact with love.
- He\she likes crying better than smiling.
- Your glum spouse has tons of inferiority complex.
- He\she emotionally blackmails you.
Your married life is indeed an ordeal when you are married to such a pessimistic and gloomy spouse.
‘The difference between an optimist and a pessimist? An optimist laughs to forget, but a pessimist forgets to laugh.’ Tom Bodett
The other day I saw my cousin after a long time. He looked tired and frustrated.
‘What happened? You looked completely drained’ I asked worryingly
‘It is my wife. She keeps on complaining about one thing or the other whenever I am home. She compares our life with others and feels that we are suffering while everyone is having it good’
‘Why should she feel so? You are earning well and you have a house of your own. You are also financially secure. There is nothing for her to worry’, I was confused why his wife was feeling dejected when she had a secure married life.
‘Oh no! She feels she is the only one suffering. She invents problems, imagines calamities and makes my life torturous by pestering me that I do something to make her feel relieved. When I pacify her she yells that I am heartless not to understand her’ he choked with anger.
I could understand the frustration of my cousin as I knew that the poor boy’s wife was pessimism personified. She never saw anything good in her life. She also felt that everyone was happy except her. She was unreasonable, irrational and hysterical for no reason. She never listened to my cousin’s reasoning.
‘It is very tough to lead my life with her. There are times when I hate to be at home’ he told me. He was such a good man, but his pessimistic wife made his life a living hell.
Your pessimistic spouse can literally transfer your marriage into a nightmare. You lose your peace at home. You feel revolted by the persistent negative emotions your gloomy spouse displays.
You are unable to fulfill the greedy needs of your spouse as he\she is not satisfied with anything you do for the family. He\she wants more and more of everything.
His\her emotional blackmail makes you feel mentally wrecked. His\her suicidal threats alarms you. His\he never ending demands makes you feel helpless and hopeless.
Are you overwhelmed with your marriage as you are unable to cope with the negativity of your pessimistic and gloomy spouse?
Never buckle under the overwhelmingly negative behavior of your spouse.
When you are persistently pliable to his\her unreasonable demands, your life becomes nightmarish, hellish and traumatic.
How should you handle the emotional outbursts of your pessimistic and gloomy spouse?
- Do not make him\her force you to do things you never want to do.
- Move away from your spouse when he\she begins an emotional outburst of nonexistent family issues and problems.
- Tell him\her firmly that he\she too has responsibilities towards the family.
- Make your spouse understand that he\she can have your love only when he\she is reasonable and caring.
- Give your piece of mind when he\she goes on a tirade of insults to deliberately wound you.
It is really sad that your pessimistic spouse makes it very difficult for you to lead a happy married life.
What should you do if you are married to a pessimistic and gloomy spouse?
Be loving and understanding. Be patient and empathetic. Be sure not to go into depression that your marriage is unhappy.
Easier said than done, isn’t it?