Old traditions vs modern outlook in marriage.
Which is better?
Is it the old tradition which is rather conservative?
It insists on holding your marriage together no matter what happens in your relationship.
‘Let go your marriage if it does not work for you’ is the modern outlook of today’s youngsters.
‘’Tradition is a guide and not a jailer.” –W. Somerset Maugham
The concept of marriage has undergone a sea of changes over the years. Its meaning is twisted and tossed about to suit your mindset. In the bargain it has lost its true meaning midway through.
When I married I was advised to adjust with my husband and never give him up any time of my life. I shared all the ups and downs of my married life with equal mentality.
But in today’s changed modern society you are called spineless and without backbone when you adjust and tolerate the mistakes of your spouse.
But if you throw away your marriage and quote reasons to suit you, you are cheered as someone who is very forthright and bold. You are praised that you had the courage to throw away a marriage which meant nothing to you.
How times have changed!
I still remember my childhood days.
My grandfather was the uncontested lord of the family and my grandmother always looked upon him for advice.
Did that mean she was worthless and just a dummy in the family?
I still remember her maintaining the family, the servants and other family matters with great determination and dedication.
Mind you! She had twenty mouths to feed, day in and day out! My grandfather would look lost when she was unwell as he was so dependent on her for his happiness.
Can you imagine such a scenario in today’s married life?
It would be impossible to find someone like my grandmother now. She too would not have survived this modern society as her world began and ended with her family.
- What happened to the old traditions in marriage?
- Have they become obsolete and outmoded in today’s world?
- Can marriages survive the modern outlook?
- Why has marriage become a war of survival instead loving togetherness?
- Who is to blame for the sorry state of affairs in the life of modern couples?
Why this prolonged debate of old traditions vs modern outlook in marriage?
Who comes out the winner?
Both aspects have their pros and cons!
Old traditions vs modern outlook in marriage.
The pros of modern marriages!
- You are more confident.
- You are more broadminded.
- You enjoy life more.
- Your children have access to the best things in the world.
- You are financially successful.
- You enjoy an incredible standard of living.
The cons of modern marriages!
- The time factor! –you do not have time for your family.
- The adjustment factor.
- The mad chase after money.
- Taking marriage easily.
- The easiness with which you obtain divorce.
- The easiness with which you forget the love you had for each other.
- The ego clashes you have with your spouse.
- Complete lack of patience.
- Being too modern to accept that your marriage is forever.
Rather a long negative list isn’t it!
The pros of traditional outlook!
- You adjusted a lot better.
- You looked after your children much better.
- You had tons of patience.
- You had time to inculcate good characteristics in your children.
- Your children had more emotional security as they had no doubts about the stability of your marriage.
The cons of traditional outlook!
- You had no worldly exposure.
- You lacked confidence.
- Your children yearned for good things in life which you could not afford as the wife stayed back home to look after her family.
- You were crushed into meek submission by your chauvinistic husband.
So what is the path you should take?
Do you also face a competition of old traditions vs modern outlook in marriage?
You cannot afford to be too traditional as you will be left far behind in this mercenary world. The perception that a woman should stay back to look after her family is completely outmoded in today’s modern world.
A wife has all the right to be as successful as her husband. She must be confident and financially independent to make her family financially secure.
Women were suppressed for a long time that her new financial independence has made her more aggressive and hostile towards her husband. She demands more rights and often indulges in ego clashes with her husband.
Are you one such a wife who fights tit for tat with your husband?
You will not enjoy your married life if you do so.
Your husband should understand that he no longer can take you for granted. Both should value the contribution of the other and unite to make your marriage work. When you do not take married life seriously, you make big ado about the minor faults of your spouse and think that divorce is the only solution.
Am I implying that you have to follow the old tradition and lock your improvement?
No, not all!
It is very true that you have to be updated in your outlook to meet the challenges you face in your day to day life. So there must be mutual adjustments between you to keep up with your changing attitude towards marriage.
But old tradition never loses their values. You should never think that it is not applicable to the changed concept of marriage. You should always choose the in between path of becoming adaptable to the modern world and also not losing respect for age old conception of marriage.
Whether you follow the old concept of marriage or new concept of marriage does not matter at all! Marriage is always and will always remain a co-existence between two people who unite in love. Love never loses its freshness and always remains the cementing force of marriage.
But it is adjustability, respect and tolerance which make your marriage survive. But your modern outlook makes your marriage unable to withstand the challenges it faces. Your love for each other has become so fickle that you make your spouse an enemy when problems crop up in your married life.
Do not be too traditional as you cannot live in this highly competitive world. Do not be too modern as you cannot make your marriage work. Be neutral and enjoy the best of both world.