Orphan children in married life – The title is very confusing, isn’t it?
‘How can my child be called an orphan when I love and cherish him’ you are indignant aren’t you?
You indeed love and care for your children.
You pat yourself in the back thinking you are fulfilling your duty as a good parent to perfection. But strangely your children do not acknowledge you as a good parent.
They are orphan children in married life.
Orphan children in married life – Ignored emotional needs
Who is an orphan?
Children who are parent-less and left to fend for themselves are called orphans.
This is a literal meaning. But it can be related to today’s children also.
Do you know your children often feel unloved and uncared?
You give your children the best things in the world. You work yourself threadbare for their betterment. You provide them the best education.
Do you think you are an excellent parent just because you give them a good standard of living?
No, you are wrong if you think so.
Good parenting has a different meaning altogether.
You often make them feel orphan children in married life by your indifferent attitude towards them.
“Children will not remember you for the material things you provided, but for the feeling that you cherished them.” Richard Evan
Ask yourself these questions?
- Do you know the problems of your children?
- Are you able to strike an emotional chord with them?
- Are you always there when your children need you?
- Do you spend quality time with them?
- Do you understand the inner feelings of your children?
- Are you friendly with them?
- Do you see their problems from their viewpoint?
Are you wondering what these have to do with your love for your children?
Your children feel good when you give them the best things in life. But this goodness is very superficial and shallow. It does nothing to their emotional well-being. If good standard of living was a criterion for well cared children, then only rich children would fit into it.
Many rich children feel empty in their lives as their parents are more concentrated on their socialite circle than to look after them with personal care and love. They take to drugs and alcohol due to their loneliness. So never think money can replace your presence for your children!
Good parenthood has a different parameter altogether!
- Do you spend your time either before TV or computer when at home?
- How many times have you shoved your children away from you citing your tiredness?
- Do you fight with your spouse before your children?
- Do you vent your anger on your children for feeble reasons?
- Are you glued to the mobile when you are with your children?
- Do you not include them in any family discussions?
- Do you degrade your children before your friends\relatives?
- Do you compare your children with others?
- Do you interact with your children only to tell them to do this and that?
- Are you a very strict parent?
Just go through this rather lengthy questionnaire and answer frankly.
Most of you commit these mistakes without really knowing its repercussions.
Do you know your children feel emotionally deprived when you are indifferent to their tiny needs?
Your children feel lonely and lost. They might have all the costly and valuable things the world can offer, but they feel like an orphan as you do not pay any attention to their inner needs.
‘I care the world for my children and work for their betterment’ you defend yourself.
‘I sacrifice myself for their well-being. When I do so much for them, how can I be accused of being a bad parent?’ You are angry at being called a bad parent.
‘How can my children be called orphans as they have us to look after all their needs’, you vehemently want to prove your point!
You never understand that your children need something else than your money.
- Your children need demonstration of your love.
- They want your moral support.
- They crave for your friendliness.
- They want you to understand their inner needs.
- They want you to spend quality time with them.
- They want you to have good relationship with your spouse as it makes them feel emotionally secure.
Your children do not just need your physical presence to experience the secured feeling of a family. They need you to understand their world of youthful fears and apprehensions. If you do not do so, you might be there physically present to them, but they feel they are like orphan children in married life.