Patience in marriage has awesome power. But sadly it is the most ignored aspect of your married life. You are always jumpy and edgy in your interaction with your spouse. You ruin your relationship through your impatience. Your hectic lifestyle makes you lose your patience. The result is intense resentment and bitterness against your spouse.
‘My wife does not understand me properly. I find my married life boring and taxing’ my cousin was in a complaining mood about his wife.
‘Practice patience with her!’ I told him with a smile.
‘How can I be patient when she always gets on my nerves by behaving in a way I hate?’ he instantly retorted back in anger.
‘See! How you react angrily to my suggestions? You did not pause for a second to listen to what I had to say. It is your impatience that is making your relationship tensed and boring’ I smiled at him.
‘Do you mean to say that I have to be patient even if my wife does everything in a way I dislike’ he asked confusedly.
‘You are an individual and she is an individual! So there are bound to be differences of opinion and variation in doing things. If you understand this basic aspect of your relationship you can become patient with your wife’ my views made him pensive.
‘Do you also want to know yet another reason for your impatience? It is because you are always hasty! You are always in a hurry! A little slowing down of your hastiness will make you notice the good things of your wife’ I patted him affectionately.
Are you like my cousin?
- Do you feel your nerves creeping in frustration when your spouse takes a very long time to get ready for a wedding\function\outing?
- Do you feel wild with anger when your spouse is disorganized in his\her work?
- Do you feel impatient to hear the viewpoint of your spouse and flash out in anger?
- Do you pace up and down in frustrated anger when your dinner is delayed?
- Do you throw things around in temperamental tantrum?
Do you know these sort of impatience creates unwanted tension and stress in your relationship?
This happens in most marriages! Impatience and intolerance are the common reasons for arguments and fights in your relationship.
‘You marry because of your lack of judgment, and divorce because of your lack of patience, and you remarry because of your lack of good memories. – Unknown
What are the top reasons for your impatience?
- You see everything from your viewpoint.
- You are too much of a perfectionist!
- Your fatigue and tiredness from a hectic work schedule makes you lose your temper easily.
- You have lost interest in your spouse and you do not have the patience to interact with him\her.
- You want your spouse to do things according to your orders.
- Your inclination towards perfection makes you see imperfection in everything your spouse does.
- The small imperfections of your spouse makes you edgy and irritated.
- You do not understand that your spouse need not be as perfect as you.
- You are finicky about cleanliness while your spouse might be shabby.
- You are a connoisseur of good food and your spouse is a poor cook.
- You are adept at doing things while your spouse is clumsy and lethargic.
Can you see how you lack patience in almost all aspects of your relationship?
Many of you never think that happiness in your relationship needs tons of patience!
What do you gain through your impatience?
You lose your peace of mind and you are always edgy and strung up. Your interaction with your spouse is often argumentative and belligerent.
Patience in marriage! Its awesome power!
- You pause and wait for your anger to subside. When you do so you cool down easily and hold back the bitter words you were about to utter.
- You give time to your spouse to do things at his\her pace! This does away with unwanted stress and tension in your relationship!
- Your patience brings peace and contentment to your family.It makes your spouse feel comfortable to interact with you.
- You avoid angry tantrums when you are impatient.
- You notice or appreciate his\her caring love.
- Patience in married life makes your mind calm and peaceful to see the viewpoint of your spouse
‘The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.’ – Arnold H. Glasow
How to practice patience?
- An understanding pause before uttering harsh words saves hours or days of resentment!
- Moving away from the place when things are really heating up between both can do away with many bitter fights and unwanted arguments.
- A little patience when your spouse is impatient makes your relationship thrive with contentment.
Do you want an elaboration?
Imagine yourself driving impatiently in a road of great scenic beauty!
You fail to notice the beauty of nature.
- There are lush green grasses!
- The bubbling sound of the stream is music to ears!
- The birds present a beautiful scenic beauty!
But all this is lost to you because of your lack of patience.
Suppose you were driving in a measured speed!
- Your eyes take in the lush grasses!
- The sound of the stream is melody to your ears!
- The uniformity in the flight of the birds makes you pause to admire them!
Your patience and serenity make you notice the beauty of nature!
It is the same in your marriage relationship!
When you are patient you notice many good aspects of your spouse!
But when you are impatient your mind draws down the shutters making it impossible to notice the beautiful characteristics of your spouse.
If you are impatient you are focused on the negative side of your spouse! You too display your negative side! Patience and tolerance enable you to see the beautiful and positive side of your spouse. Liven up your marriage with your patience! It makes your marriage contented and joyful!