Do you know that unless you enjoy personal space in your relationship, you feel choked with resentment and frustration?
Are you wondering why?
You might love your spouse to the skies. You might be a dedicated mother or father. But deep down your subconscious mind you are what you are born as.
Yes!
You are first and foremost an individual with your own unique personality. Your individuality differentiates you from others. Your individuality is close to your heart as it defines your identity.
You can never do away with it until the day you live. You love your true self so much that you will never let go of it.
This is the reason you crave for personal space in your relationship. Without it you feel jailed and imprisoned in your married life.
Sadly, you are often denied personal space in your relationship, aren’t you?
After your marriage you have tons of responsibilities and duties to be fulfilled. So, you forgo your wishes and desires to be a dutiful spouse. But your individual wishes lie dormant in your mind, never to go away.
As an individual you have a different way of doing things. You have a diversified taste from that of your spouse. You have a different attitude towards various things in your life.
There is nothing wrong in it.
In fact, it is this difference that makes you so unique. And not surprisingly you adore your individuality more than anything else.
So, you want your individuality intact even if you are married.
Though you love your spouse, it in no way takes away the craving you have to enjoy your own personal space in your relationship.
This is the reason the individuality in you revolts when your spouse demands your attention 24\7.
You feel smothered and suffocated when your spouse clings to you in the name of love denying you your personal space.
It does not mean you have ceased to love your spouse, just because you want to spend some time for yourself.
You need spacing in every sphere of your life.
You love your parents, but hate it when they breathe down your neck. The individual in you screams for your space.
How can you be any different after your marriage?
Though you love your spouse, you hate to spend all your free time with him or her. Do not worry that you are drifting away from your spouse when you want your own personal space. Because you are not.
It is the most natural expectation any human being will have.
In fact, personal space in your relationship makes your married life flourish and thrive. When your spouse is understanding enough to give you time to pamper the individual in you, you feel more loving towards him or her.
Your individuality needs pampering. You hold on to your identity because it defines you. You are proud of your unique traits.
And you are the king or queen of your realm of uniqueness. Though you adjust with your spouse on many things, your individuality time and again rears its head asking for indulgence.
You might want to watch your favorite shows. When your spouse intrudes into it you are naturally angry.
You might have your own circle of friends. When your spouse demands that you sever your friendship with them you naturally revolt.
You might just want to laze around reminiscing about things you like.
You might want to spend time with your parents\siblings.
When your spouse understands your craving for personal space and allows you to enjoy it, your married life becomes very loving and understanding.
What happens when there is lack of personal space in your relationship?
“Where are you?”
“Can you come home immediately?”
“Why do you want to go to the movie with your friends?”
“Why are you watching the TV without me?”
“What are you doing?”
How will you feel when your spouse kills your personal space by these highly intruding questions?
Do you think you will feel your spouse loves you so much that he\she cannot spend time without you?
No!
You will feel your spouse is squeezing you dry off your personal space.
Do you know that couples who have personal space enjoy their relationship more than those who don’t have it?
Here are simple ways to enjoy personal space in your married life
The no 1. simple way is being understanding enough to allow your spouse his\her personal space.
Let your spouse do things he or she likes without intruding into it. It might be gardening. It might be some hobbies. It might be watching TV alone without your disturbance.
Your spouse might just want to laze around just thinking and dreaming.
Nothing wrong in it, is there?
Let your spouse enjoy his or her space.
Your spouse owes that much of a space from you.
Understand the simple fact that your spouse is not your co-joined twin that your time should always be looped together.
The no 2. simple way is to understand that your spouse is an individual.
Though your spouse is married to you, always remember that he or she is a different individual. Respect him or her for it.
Do not intrude as though you have all the right to dictate terms and conditions to your spouse.
Hold yourself at a dignified distance when your spouse does his or her work his or her way.
The way your spouse does his or her work will definitely be different from yours. Your spouse is not your Xerox copy that he or she should replicate you in everything.
Do you know this is a simple trick to do away with tons of resentment that might arise if you keep poking your nose into the private den of your spouse?
The no 3. Simple way is not trying to change your spouse
Most of you try to change your spouse according to your liking.
This is a worst ever relationship blunder.
Your spouse might change his or her attitude to please you. But deep within himself or herself he or she does not like it a wee bit.
So, accept and love your spouse for what he or she is.
The 4. simple way is not to be too questioning about what your spouse does.
“Why are doing this?”
“Can’t you do it the way I like?”
“I think you are doing it all wrong.”
These are words which makes the hackles of your spouse rise in violent anger.
Your spouse is not a child that you can reprimand him or her as and when you wish.
Even a child does not like it when you intrude into his playtime.
How can your spouse like interference as a grown-up adult?
The no 5. simple way is to understand that personal spacing gives you so much to talk about
Let us suppose you want your spouse to do things only with you. Both are a witness of what happened between you. So, you have nothing much to talk about.
But suppose both are able to enjoy doing your own thing.
When a husband or wife is able to enjoy his or her personal space, the experience of both is different.
You now have so much to talk about your personal experience with your spouse. It makes your conversation extend and expand.
Can you see how important personal space in relationship is?
You just cannot do away with it.
Understand that needing personal space in your relationship does not mean you have stopped loving your spouse.
It just means that you love your spouse so intensely that you want to him\ her to do things his\her way to enjoy life.
Hi friends!
I want to share a happy news to my breezystorm families.
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