You have many questions to discuss before marriage if you want to enjoy good relationship with your spouse.
Most couples fail to do so. In the end they regret to have married a wrong person.
Is married life an examination that you have questions to discuss before marriage?
‘Marriages maybe be made in heaven, but the maintenance must be done on earth’- Unknown
Why do most marriages fail?
You marry with great expectations but end your marriage in great disappointment.
What can be the reason for such failed marriages?
You plan your wedding day with meticulous precision. You make elaborate arrangements to make your wedding a pleasurable treat.
- But do you discuss your life after marriage?
- Do you discuss your financial dealings, before and after marriage?
- Do you talk about your loans and debts with your spouse?
- Do you confess your commitments that must be continued after your marriage also?
Life before marriage and after marriage is entirely different. Before marriage your love is dominant. Whereas after marriage fulfilling your responsibilities become dominant.
Hidden facts and unknown details about you or your spouse can ruin your marriage. Never plunge into a hurried marriage without discussing the niggling doubts you have about your spouse.
What are the top crucial questions to discuss before marriage?
1.Your comfort level with your spouse
How is your relationship with your spouse before marriage?
- Do you always argue about petty matters?
- Are your arguments serious and abusive?
- Do you face verbal and physical abuse?
- Does your spouse have highly traumatic habits like alcoholism or drug addiction?
- Is he\she a cheat or a persistent liar?
- Is he\she a pessimist?
These are very crucial issues which decide the success of your married life.
When in love you feel you can change your spouse for the better. But the harsh truth is that you cannot change him\her.
You feel bitter and resentful when your spouse who promised to change after marriage, never changes his\her negative habits.
If you verbally abuse each other before marriage you can never hope for a happy relationship.
Do you have a gut feeling that you cannot co- exist in harmony with your spouse?
Then it is better to part ways than to have a bitter ending just after a few years of marriage.
2. Too much difference in social status
When in love the difference in your status level never occurs to you.
In fact you are emotional that your elevated social status can give your spouse the life he\she dreamed of. You want the best for your spouse.
But what happens when the sheen of your marriage wears off?
You feel the vast difference in your upbringing. You feel your spouse is very mediocre and not up to your standard. The differences in the lifestyle he\she leads make you feel that you had made a grave mistake in marrying him\her.
When your marriage is new you easily overlook the difference in your status. With the wear and tear of your relationship you feel that the lifestyle with your spouse is far below your expectation.
Now you experience many bitter fights and harsh arguments between you. Finally you have a heart rending divorce.
Discuss with your spouse the vast difference in your social status.
Can you co- exist together in spite of your diversified upbringing?
Thrash it out with your spouse before marriage.
3. Are you ready for marriage?
Are you mentally prepared for marriage?
Are you mature enough to handle the many problems you will face in your relationship?
Marriage is a very responsible commitment. You cannot afford to be carefree and irresponsible after marriage.
A man bids adieu to his bachelor days after marriage.
A woman is loaded with commitments after marriage.
Life of both will change drastically. If you feel you are not mature enough for marriage, do not marry.
If you are unsure and jittery about your future with your spouse it is time to have a frank talk with him\her.
4. Financial commitments.
Almost all couples fight over money matters. Both hide your financial dealings from each other.
You are not transparent about your loans and debts before marriage. The concealed financial commitments of your spouse before marriage makes you feel cheated.
What is the result of such lack of transparency in money matters?
You feel cheated.
After marriage you plan a house\car\vacation\family financial future\ your children’s education with the combined income of both.
When your plans cannot materialize because of the hidden financial mess of your spouse you are naturally frustrated and angry.
This is one of the topmost questions to discuss before marriage.
Sort out these needling matters before marriage so that they do not become a thorny issue in your relationship.
5. Respect for each other
This is the most essential part of any marriage.
Mutual respect for one another is very important for your marriage to survive.
Does your spouse not respect you?
- Do you feel that he\she lets you down before his\her family\ friends?
- Does he\she makes uncalled for jokes about your appearance?
- Does he\she take you for granted?
- Does he\she vent his her anger on you before others?
These are the red signals of your relationship.
If your spouse takes sadistic delight in making you feel uncomfortable, he\she will not make you happy when you marry him\her.
You should be ready to tie the knot only when there is respect in your love.
Do not marry in haste and repent in leisure.
Do you feel that it is alright to marry despite these needling problems between you?
Do you think everything will settle down for the better after your marriage?
Your marriage can never survive.
This is where the questions to discuss before marriage becomes very important. It makes you choose the right person to spend the rest of your life with.