Tolerance in marriage is the most missing element in modern relationships, isn’t it?
What happens when there is no tolerance in marriage?
- You over react to every trivial things your spouse does.
- You get easily irritated by the innocuous words he\she utters and construe many hidden meanings in it – Brings in great disagreement between you.
- You make rude comments to the hot words of your spouse. Tit for tat, isn’t it?
‘I hate the behavior of my husband’ Farida, my cousin’s daughter told me.
‘Why do you say so, dear?’ I asked the young girl.
‘Well aunty, he never listens to me. I want him to change his appearance. He does not do it. I want him to change certain habits which I find infuriating. He ignores it. He often leaves his clothes in the bed. I hate it’ the poor girl went on and on complaining about her husband.
‘Why does my husband irritate me so much aunty?’ Farida asked me confusedly.
‘Your husband is just being himself. There is nothing wrong in it. Why do you want to change his habits and way of dressing? It is his prerogative, isn’t it? You are being plain intolerant’ I explained to her.
Farida is a classic example of how tolerance in marriage is slowly disappearing from relationships.
‘Tolerance is not looking with your eyes, but rather with your HEART… Katrina Taylor
Tolerance in marriage – Never miss this vital ingredient in your married life
Do you look at the trivial and innocuous characteristics of your spouse with a magnifying glass to make fun of it?
Never ever do it. Your married life becomes highly tensed and hostile.
Very bad for your marriage, isn’t it?
Ask any successful couple the key ingredient to their happy marriage. Their answer invariably is tolerance and patience.
You cannot expect a perfect spouse. Just like you he\she too has his own share of faults and mistakes.
What are the common aspects which makes you averse to be tolerant in your relationship?
- Laziness of your spouse.
- His\her disorganized way of doing things.
- His\her taking a long time to get ready.
- His\her circle of friends whom you dislike.
- His\her work timings – you are disappointed by a missed outing when your spouse is late from work.
- His\her preference to certain brands in the things you buy for home.
The list of your intolerance is alarmingly lengthy and never-ending.
When you are intolerant towards your spouse you intrude into his\her personal space.You are always keyed up and restless making your married life boring and dull. You fail to acknowledge his\her good qualities as you are too concentrated in finding faults.
Not at all.
There are certain things you should never tolerate in marriage.
- Verbal and physical abuse
- Throwing things around in a fit of unreasonable fury
- Scathing and demeaning comments about you before relatives\friends.
- Passing snide remarks about your upbringing\family\religion
You cannot be tolerant in such a situation.
Your tolerance does not give your spouse the liberty to demean you and get away with it. Fight fair to make your spouse understand that his\her unwarranted behavior will not be tolerated by you.
You can never forgo your self-respect in the name of tolerance. When your spouse deliberately goes out-of-the-way to make your life hell, you should not take it silently. You have the right to make him\her realize that you cannot be taken for granted.
But be careful not to make a big mountain out of a mound.
Easy ways to practice tolerance in marriage
- Overlook the minor faults of your spouse.
- Take everything in the right spirit.
- Understand that your spouse is an individual with his\her own way of doing things.
- Be sportive.
- Realize one bad day does not mean a bad marriage.
- Accept the fact that words spoken in anger are often superficial and inoffensive.
How a wife should tolerate her husband?
Do you have the habit of nagging your husband for his disorganized way of strewing things around?
Do you yell at him for his forgetfulness?
Do you feel irritated by his laziness?
If you say yes to these questions your tolerance level is dangerously low.
As a man your husband is basically lazy. He is forgetful because he is confident that you will remember pending bills and repayments.
Overlook small and minor faults of your husband with indulgence. You can tease him about his shabbiness, but never degrade him.
Practice patience when he is out of mood. Do not take his angry words as a sign of his lost love for you.
How a husband should tolerate his wife?
Does your nerves creep in anger when your wife takes a great deal of time getting ready?
As a woman she is concentrated on her looks.
Do you feel resentful that she nags you a lot?
She cares a lot for her family and worry sometimes makes her nag you.
Are you angry she spends a lot on dresses and beauty parlors?
Your wife never spends tons of money on electronic goods like you do. Give her the liberty to indulge herself.
You need patience and endurance to co-exist in peace with your spouse. Tolerance works magic in your marriage. When you are patient for a moment, you enjoy many years of happiness in your married life.