Top 5 common mistakes parents make! What does this really mean! You commit certain blunders when you deal with your children which eventually ruin your happiness and self-esteem. You deeply love your children, don’t you? In the bargain you forget the harsh reality that you have your own life to think of.
‘Give your children tons of love, but never make the mistake of giving them your hard earned money. If you do so you would be discarded as a piece of waste’ choked a sixty year old man in a reality show I was watching in the TV.
‘What happened’? Asked the interviewer with concern in his face.
‘Well, I gave the money I got after my retirement to my son as he needed it to complete the house he was building. He literally begged me for the money. But the change in his behavior towards me after I gave him the money was a revelation to me.’
‘How did his behavior change towards you? The interviewer asked
‘He felt that I was useless and a burden to him as I was financially depleted. He did not for one moment think that my plight was entirely the price I paid for being a loving father. Please! I beg all the parents to be very careful of your money. It is not money you lose but your self-respect’ he concluded with tears in his eyes.
Are you one such parent blindly in love with your children?
Do you feel that you have to be a selfless parent without a thought about your needs?
Do you spend all your hard earned money on your children?
The gravest mistake you can ever make!
Love your children, but be very careful of them also.
Top 5 common mistakes parents make!
- Give them love, but not your money!
Be very careful of the money you earn. You should always have the back up of personal money to retain your self-respect and self-esteem. Do not over love your children and make the mistake of giving them your retirement money. When you help them financially they initially feel extremely grateful! But soon they forget about it. In fact they finally outgrow you!
They give preference to their own family and you slip down the ladder in their priority list. They never consider it their duty to look after you. In fact you become their burden. But when you have your own money you have the independence to lead your life as you wish to.
- Do not be emotionally dependent on them!
When you are emotionally dependent on your children, you are also emotionally blackmailed by them. When they need you, they come to you. When they are well satisfied with their life they forget you. You have to face the harsh reality that you will be used by your children.
You should understand that true love is all about giving and not about demanding. When your children demand your attention, money and help, it simply means they are emotionally blackmailing you.
You should not allow your children to decide how you lead your life. You must be your own master. You must help your children out of love and not out of compulsion.
- Do not let your children dictate terms and conditions!
Modern children feel they know everything and that their parents know nothing. As you age they try to become your dictator. You should always remember that it is you who decide what you do with your life and not them.
Do you want to go on a vacation?
Go to places you had longed to go. Inform your children, but do not ask their permission.
Do want to learn something new?
Your life should be in your entire command and your children have no business to interfere in it.
- You should not live with your children!
It is all nice to say good things about joint family!
Do you feel that you will be well cared if you live with your children?
You see an entirely new world when you stay with them. A world of isolation! Your privacy is lost! Your personal life zeroes to nothing. You become lonely and alone when your children exclude you from family interaction.
- Do not try to live their lives!
Most of you love your children more than yourself. So you focus your total attention on their life. When you find them making financial and relationship blunders you are terrified about their future.
Do you preach them about the mistakes they make?
Do not do it!
Your children feel it to be a total interference on your part.
Let your children lead their own lives. Let them learn from their mistakes. Their life is their own just as your life is yours.
Be a good parent as it is your duty to care for them. But also be a very careful parent. Do not cling to your children for emotional support as your emotions will be battered and shattered by their negligent behavior. Take a step back from your children so that you can lead a fulfilled life of having done your parental duties perfectly and faultlessly.