There are certain sensitive topics you should avoid to make your relationship work.
Do you know that it is words that shape your married life?
Words can break or build your marriage. Unthinking words, unwarranted comments literally destroy your relationship.
‘It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages’. –Friedrich Nietzsche
Of course you cannot always be lovey dovey with your spouse. You undergo limitless tension and stress in your work place. So there are bound to be arguments and confrontation between you.
But when you make comments with the deliberate intention of hurting your spouse your marriage is destroyed in seconds.
‘Can’t I talk whatever I want to with my spouse?’
You are right!
You have to be natural with your spouse to enjoy your married life. But you vent your frustration on your spouse by uttering words with callous indifference.
Wrong on your part!
Friendly interaction between both is very important to cement your relationship. But sadly you always choose topics which hurt the inner feelings of your spouse.
- Your uncaring attitude makes him\her resent you.
- You deliberately choose to insult people who are close to his\her heart.
- You intentionally hurt him\her feelings by making unwarranted comments about his\her appearance\capacity\character.
- Unnecessary arguments lead to unneccerary resentment.
- Uncalled for words destroy your married life.
Sensitive topics which create tension in the family should be completely avoided by you.
Top 5 sensitive topics to avoid in your relationship!
1. Religion is very personal!
When you marry out of your religion, you should tread very carefully when you talk with your spouse. You should avoid conversations which deal with religion. Do not pass remarks that make your spouse feel that you are being offensive about his\her religion.
You knew that your spouse was from a different religion when you married, didn’t you?
When you were in love religion was not an issue between you. Your love for your spouse was so powerful that you overlooked the religious differences between you.
But as days goes by, you develop lots of incompatibilities with your spouse. You are aggrieved against him\her. Now your sole intention is to hurt your spouse.
The topic about his\her religion comes handy for you. You utter words which hurt his\her religious sentiment causing irreversible damage to your marriage.
2. Do not talk ill about the family of your spouse
Your family means a lot to you and you love them. It is the same with your spouse. He\she loves his\her family and will never give them up. When you respect the family of your spouse, it makes him\her happy that he\she has married an understanding and lovable person.
When your in- laws interfere and intrude into your married life you feel antagonized against them. When they visit you, you uneasily want to avoid them. You are unnaturally stiff with them. This never escapes the watchful eyes of your spouse. He\she waits for a chance to retaliate back when your family visits you.
Do you feel that you cannot adjust with your in-laws?
- You should refrain from saying insulting words about them.
- Diplomacy is the key ingredient to deal with such situation.
Do you feel resentful about their interference?
- Take a step back and be courteous and polite.
- Do not make your incompatibility with your in- laws an argumentative issue.
They are just your extended family. They have nothing to do with the relationship with your spouse.
3. Comparison wrecks your relationship!
Yet another death knell to your marriage is when you compare your spouse with others. When you indulge in comparisons, it causes your spouse to feel irritated and ridiculed.
Wives usually compare their husbands with their more talented colleagues or relatives.
‘My colleague friend earns more than you and I think you lag behind him in intelligence’ words which raise the hackles of your husband. His self-esteem is dashed and smashed when you make persistent comparison about him with your more successful colleagues. He hates you for this.
Husbands also are prone to comparing!
You compare your wife with your more beautiful female friends\colleagues. This injects a lost feeling in her mind. She assumes that you no longer like her because you feel she is dowdy and dull. You should love your wife for what she is and appreciate her good points.
You should talk encouragingly to your spouse and not make him\her feel a lesser person.
4. Ridiculing your spouse
You believe that you can provoke your spouse to be more assertive if you make fun of his\her talent.
Do you assume that he\she will be incited to do better to prove his\her capacity?
You are wrong if you feel your negative remarks will motivate him\her. Actually your derision sows the seed of uncertainty in the mind of your spouse.
Why do you feel like ridiculing your spouse?
You will not criticize your spouse if you truly love him\her. You mock your spouse only when you think that he\she is a lesser person.
You might be better talented, but this does not provide ground for you to make fun of him\her.
5. Character assassination
You analyze and categorize the character of your spouse according to your expectations.
- When your wife is angry you call her a shrew.
- When your husband is not assertive you curse him to be a cowering coward.
- When you wife interacts with friendliness with her male colleagues you assume she is flirting and pass derogatory comments about her character.
- When your husband is friendly with his female colleagues, you categorize him as a Casanova and keep spying on him.
When your love is fresh, you think your spouse is a lovable person. You feel good that your marriage is on a strong footing. But when differences crop up in your marriage you reverse your judgment about your spouse. You brutally classify him\her as someone with lesser character.
When you pass insulting remarks to assassinate the character of your spouse he\she is naturally wild and angry at your audacity to show him\her in a negative light.
Why do you feel like taking up a topic which you know will evoke an angry and resentful repartee from your spouse?
If you really want your marriage to work you should side step such topics and concentrate on lighter topics to make your spouse happy and content.
Unless you are empathetic about the feelings of your spouse your interaction with him\her cannot be exciting. If you insult your spouse your relationship becomes cold and lifeless.
Make your interaction with your spouse vivacious, loving and caring. Small talk about mild topics to enjoy real togetherness. Avoid controversial topics. Divert your conversation towards topics which evoke laughter and happiness.