Are you shocked when you hear of many married women cheating their husbands?
Yes!
Years ago, infidelity was always linked to a man.
Usually a husband cheated his wife when he was physically attracted to another woman. He never cared about his wife suffering when he strayed from his limits to satisfy his lust.
Women tolerated the disloyalty of their husband as they feared the social stigma attached to infidelity. So, women suffered silently.
This was the scenario some thirty years ago.
But modernity has changed everything.
Nowadays cheating is not a man’s sin alone.
Married women cheating has become a common scenario. It is a harsh fact that women cheat as good as men.
Very astonishing, isn’t it?
How did women change so much that they have become as disloyal as men?
You know that extra marital affairs can destroy your marriage.
What makes you cross the limits of loyalty towards your husband?
Married women cheating – Real reasons!
1. Lack of emotional connectivity
As a woman you are basically emotional. This is the reason you crave for open display of love from your husband. It makes you sure of the love your husband has for you.
But as a man your husband is staid and mundane in his interaction with you. He never displays his love openly. He is never appreciative.
His routine and dull interaction with you makes you feel completely unloved and uncared. Your mind craves for words of assurance from your husband that he is always there for you.
But your husband is indifferent towards your emotional needs. He makes you feel deprived and lost.
You are utterly disappointed with your marriage as it does not make you feel loved and cared. You find your married life boring, dull and lifeless.
Your love deprived mind screams for some consolation and open display of care.
Suppose your male colleague\friend\relative listens to your woes with care.
What if he says supporting words you so much crave for?
He makes you feel cared and sheltered, doesn’t he?
He also makes you feel womanly and attractive.
You like him. You want him. You are now become obsessed with the other man.
He seems so different from your husband. He is very loving and caring. A person you dreamed of. You are obviously moved and touched.
When you see the person daily and work with him in close proximity you feel drawn towards him.
You open out your feelings to the other man. When you get the reaction you had always dreamed of, you become mad about him.
Gradually the image of your husband dulls into a faraway background. You are now ready to cross the border.
2. The absence of your husband makes you lonely
Does your husband work abroad?
Do you have to face family problems all alone?
Do you spend lonely hours at home?
You long for some companionship who can do away with your loneliness.
Does your male colleague\relative fill in the gap made by the absence of your husband?
Your mind tells you that you are being disloyal to your husband. But the newness of the relationship makes you blind to the impact your affair will have on your marriage.
Your relationship with the other person excites you.
The initial glow of your relationship makes you blind to the fact that you are disloyal to your husband.
Imagine the reaction of your husband when he comes to know about your affair!
Don’t be foolish and think that he will never know.
He will definitely know it from some source.
What do you think will be the result?
Your husband is furious. The person for whom you were unfaithful to your husband is now bored with you!
You find yourself all alone!
3. The other person makes you feel loved and appreciated
You want to be appreciated by your husband, don’t you?
You want him to appreciate your beauty\intelligence.
But he does appreciate your looks or talent.
You feel unwanted when your husband overlooks your finer points,
‘He is emotionless and cold’ inwardly you curse the dull behavior of your husband.
But when you are appreciated by your male colleague\friend\relative you feel womanly and utterly feminine. Something which your husband was unable to do.
‘You have excellent cooking talent’ your new friend says when you share your lunch with him. You feel happy and emotionally touched because your husband has never uttered a word of appreciation about your cooking.
You are beautiful’ words you longed to hear from your husband but didn’t.
When you hear appreciative words, you begin to look forward to spending time with the other man.
You want to be with him. You want his physical proximity. All these are a prelude to an illegal affair.
4. Clash of character
Another emphatic reason for you to slip into an extra marital affair is the immense difference of character between you and your spouse.
Shall we look at an example.
Let us suppose you are an extrovert while your husband is an introvert.
You feel suffocated by his taciturn nature. You want to talk while he wants to keep silent.
When you interact with an extrovert colleague\relative\friend who excites you with his sense of humor and fun-loving nature you are drawn towards him.
‘He is pure fun and he has shown me the happy aspect of jolly interaction’, you feel thrilled inwardly when you think of the other man.
The difference in nature between you and your husband makes you draw away from him. You are now more drawn towards the happy –go-lucky –person who has the same wave length as you.
5, You do it with willingness
What does willing infidelity mean?
Some few years ago this comment would have created gasping disbelief as married women cheating was uncommon.
But with the world becoming permissive, extramarital affairs no longer creates any negative reactions. In fact, it is accepted as a part of human weakness.
You mingle with your male colleagues\friends\relatives freely. Small physical contacts between you become very casual and normal.
‘What my husband does not know is not going to hurt him’ your modern mentality tells you. In fact, your sexual misdemeanor does not affect you at all. You feel it very natural to be intimate with your male friend. You never feel guilty when you return home as if nothing happened.
It becomes an exciting adventure with you and you want more and more intimacy with your friend. When there is no dividing line between you and your male friends\colleagues it becomes natural for you to be disloyal to your husband.
But you do not understand that you are forgoing your married life for a relationship which is meaningless and worthless.
Conclusion
Infidelity causes irrevocable damage to your marriage.
You lose your peace of mind.
You lose the love of your husband.
“There are all kinds of ways for a relationship to be tested, even broken, some, irrevocably; it’s the ending we’re unprepared for.” – Katherine Owen
When you find certain characteristics of your husband disliking, you should talk with him in a friendly manner and discuss in a reasonable way about your expectations.
The excitement and pleasure of any new relationship does not last long. You feel bored to continue the affair once you get fed up. To give in to physical pleasure at the cost of your marriage will make your life torturous and guilt stricken.
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