Do you know you have to forgive your spouse many times in your life if you want your marriage to survive?
When you never forget faults and mistakes of your spouse, you never forgive him\her.
- You are often angry with your spouse for his\her mistakes.
- You are resentful about the bitter words spoken by him\her.
- The indifference of your spouse makes you hostile towards him\her.
- You struggle to forget the unhappiness inflicted by the behavior of your spouse.
If so, I am sure your married life is very oppressive and hostile. There are times you feel wild with anger and resentment against your spouse.
Never become a storehouse of resentment and hostility against your spouse. You will hate your relationship.
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There is a simple way to enjoy a happy relationship.
Forgive your spouse.
You have to forgive your spouse if you want a stable marriage.
‘My wife is a very moody person. There are times I feel my hackles rise by the harsh words she often utters’ Sundar, my cousin told me.
My cousin is a very soft-spoken and reasonable person. But his wife was an exact contrast to him. She was very unreasonable and unpredictable when was in her mood swings.
‘How do you cope up with her anger, Sundar?’ I asked him curiously.
‘I never hold grudge against her. So, I easily forgive her whenever we have our fights’ my cousin sounded very cool.
‘How?’ I asked him in wonder.
‘My wife always worries about the family. This is the reason for her mood swings. But I know she does not mean the words she utters in her anger. She asks me instant apology and I forgive her instantly’ my cousin smiled.
How right he was.
You easily forgive your friends\colleagues. This is the reason you are able to get along with them for years.
When you were in love, you forgive the mistakes of your spouse very easily.
But after marriage you make much ado about even the minute faults of your spouse as if he\she was your enemy.
What happens when you are unable to forgive your spouse?
- Your bitter emotions remain raw and vivid.
- Your anger is venomous and deadly.
- You drift away from your spouse.
- You no longer care for him\her.
How can your marriage survive when you keep remembering things you should forget?
Do you want to know the easy ways to forgive your spouse? – Here goes
1. Overlook the anger of your spouse
Do not attach too much importance to angry words uttered by your spouse.
It is often meaningless and without any mean motive.
Your spouse might be under tremendous work related stress.
He\she might be off-color on that day.
So, your spouse utters harsh words to vent out his\her anger. Just to let off some steam, you know.
Of course, it does not in any way justify his\her angry insult.
But you have to forgive your spouse if you want peace in your relationship.
You experience many bitterness in your work place, don’t you?
Your boss is often nasty. You have to cope up with uncooperative colleagues and snobbish higher officials.
Do you leave your job for that?
You overlook it and concentrate on your job, don’t you?
It is the same with your marriage also.
- Overlook his\her minor faults.
- Concentrate on his\her good aspects.
You can now easily forgive your spouse.
2. Make truce immediately
Do not build up resentment against your spouse. It has a snowballing effect.
When you do not forgive your spouse, your relationship might go to a stage where there can be no retracing back to normalcy.
- So, forget your fights immediately.
- Smile at your spouse when he\she apologizes.
- Never extend your anger.
Understand your spouse is your life partner and not your enemy.
3. No accusing games
I know you want to make your anger explicit to your spouse. The hurt you felt is very deep and intense.
So, you play the accusing game to the hilt.
Your anger extends for days as there is a procession of counter accusations from your spouse.
Each want to outwit the other.
Your fight seems to have no end in sight.
- Never retire to bed with anger simmering against your spouse.
- Put an immediate full stop to your resentment.
The end product of such accusing games is more anger and hostility – it drives a deep rift between you.
4. Keep your mind tuned to forgive your spouse
Most of you sharpen your claws to have a showdown with your spouse.
You achieve nothing out of it.
Do you have grudge against your children when they disobey you?
You immediately forgive them, don’t you?
Do the same to your spouse.
- Forgive him\her instantly and immediately.
This makes your relationship thrive and succeed.
5. Don’t dig up old fights
Do you know you are unable to forgive your spouse because you never forget old fights?
Old fights are done with.
It no longer exists in your relationship.
If you dig up your old fights it instantly conveys the message that you had been harboring resentment against your spouse.
This makes your spouse bitter. Bitterness in relationship is very dangerous. It leads your marriage to a definite failure.
- Accept the apology of your spouse without harping on past fights.
It makes him\her feel regretful for his\her spurt of anger.
What is the conclusion of this much discussed topic?
You are happy or unhappy in your married life by the way you deal with problems with your spouse.
When you are forgiving, you make your spouse remorseful. He\she vows never to fight with you.
Never harbor resentment and hostility against your spouse. Forget his\her anger straightaway. Forgetting is the best way to forgive your spouse.