Temper tantrums of your child makes you feel angry and emotionally drained, doesn’t it?
You are clueless about the ways to handle your child’s temper tantrums.
I was in a toy shop when I saw a child screaming and screeching at the top of his voice. He was demanding a toy that had caught his fancy. His parents yelled at him to shut up. This made the boy yell even louder. I don’t know what happened afterwards as I moved away from the place. It was a classic example of child temper tantrums in public – a parent’s nightmare.
How does your child display temper tantrums?
- Your child never listens to your reasoning.
- He rolls on the floor in uncontrollable anger.
- He even resorts to hitting and biting you.
- His nerve jarring screech sets your teeth on edge.
- Your anger does not stop your child from displaying more and more ear shattering screams.
Top 6 ways to handle temper tantrums of your kid – Parent’s nightmare
1. Be an attentive parent
Most of you never spend quality time with your child. You often think buying him toys and taking him out is your only parental duty.
Do you know your child longs for your attention?
- He wants you to play with him.
- He wants you to talk to him.
- He wants your hugs and kisses to make him feel loved.
But he is invariably disappointed. You never demonstrate your love. You always talk to him in an advising manner. You are very preachy. You are addicted to your mobile phone.
This makes your child feel unloved by you.
His pent-up emotions burst out as an open display of temper tantrums.
My mother was an epitome of care and affection. She never scolded us. She gave us total freedom at home. Her loving nature made us always obey her. We never displayed temper tantrums.
So display love for your child, openly and explicitly.
2. Don’t force your child to do things
Do you use parental force to make your child do things he does not like?
Most often you deny him his childish wishes. It makes your child angry. You never allow him to play. You want him to concentrate on his studies. His play time is eaten up by co-curricular classes.
He loses his childhood when you force him to live your dreams.
He is stressed and tensed from his young age. Temper tantrums are his stress busters.
3. Be kind and reasonable
What should you do when your child throws up temper tantrums in public?
You feel ashamed and think that everyone are watching you with ridicule. So you yell at your child to shut up. He feels shamed and humiliated in public view. It only intensifies his anger. He never listens to you.
He indulges in even more screaming and crying at the top of his tender voice.
This is a very wrong way to deal with your child’s tantrums.
Pacify your child and try to reason with him.
Do you think your child will not understand your kind words?
You will be surprised when your child reacts positively to your amiable reaction.
Also explain to him why you are denying him what he demands.
‘Too much chocolate can harm your teeth’.
‘If you climb up the window you might fall and hurt yourself’.
‘The toy you asked for is bit costly. Shall we buy it later? Now I will buy you another one.
When you give such explanations convincingly and pleasantly your child is easily pacified. Your child’s anger or irritation is very momentary as his tender mind never harbors resentful thoughts. It is very easy to distract him and he soon forgets his disappointment.
Don’t be punishing as if he had committed a grave crime. Get down to his level and show that you are friend who understands his childish needs.
4. No too much denying and no too much giving
Do not be too restrictive as he feels his independence is being intruded upon by you. A child is very independent and feels that he is capable of doing things on his own. When you are restrictive he feels frustrated and lets off his steam by opening his vocal chords.
‘Don’t do this’, don’t do that’ such words make him irritated no end.
Give a long leash to your child to make him feel independent. Be liberal in buying him things a child of his age will yearn for.
Never be an unreasonably extravagant parent also. He gets too used to getting all his demands met. Even a slightest denial of his wishes makes him very disappointed. He resorts to temper tantrums to make you buckle down to his never-ending demands.
5. Be his role model
Do you know that your child is a good imitator?
He enjoys copying whatever you do.
He imitates your vulgar display of anger.
So watch your behavior and set an example to your child.
6. Ignore his temper tantrums
Does your child continue to be unreasonably angry even after you console him?
It is time you ignore him.
Avoid eye contact with your child. Go about your work as if nothing happened.
When your child finds that his temper tantrums does not bother you he will calm down immediately. He is after all an innocent child.
Your anger makes your child feel emotionally insecure. Your unreasonable pampering makes him a spoiled brat. Both are bad for your child. Be a reasonable and friendly parent with whom your child can share all his tender emotions.