Do you know when you are honest with your spouse your married life is cozy and comfortable?
But sadly you are never honest with your spouse. You never exhibit your true opinion about him\her.
- You never pinpoint the mistakes of your spouse as you know he\she will not take it in the right spirit.
- You fear you will be misunderstood by him\her.
- You dread the arguments and fights that follow.
- You have no energy to explain the true meaning behind your words.
But you are very open and frank with your friends, aren’t you?
You never mince words when you interact with them.
You never censor your words.
This is the reason why you like interacting with your friends. There is such honesty and openness in your friendship.
Are you able to interact with your spouse with the same friendliness you share with your friends?
You say a big no.
You do not discuss the faults of your spouse as you do not to get embroiled in unwanted arguments and fights.
So your married life becomes very censored and mechanical.
It is a wrong attitude.
Never let honesty slip away from your relationship.
Top 5 ways to be honest with your spouse – Best relationship policy
1. Watch your language
It is very natural to feel irritated by certain characteristics of your spouse.
Of course you have to adjust to his\her faults.
But what if your spouse is a spendthrift?
What if he\she is bone lazy?
What it he\she procrastinates from fulfilling family commitments?
What if your spouse takes his\her health lightly?
You cannot overlook such faults, can you?
You should definitely open up with your spouse. You have all the rights to pinpoint his\her mistakes.
But watch your language.
Don’t be accusing.
‘You are always lazy’ – wrong way of pinpointing the laziness of your spouse.
‘I like when you are active’- right way of making him\her understand your point of view.
‘You always throw money around’ – Plain accusation.
‘I want your opinion about saving money’ – fair and honest suggestion.
Never use words which hurt the ego of your spouse.
The word YOU is always felt as a direct attack by your spouse.
So be discreetly honest with your spouse.
2. Voice your opinion without hurting your spouse
Being honest with your spouse does not mean you can be degrading and demeaning.
Make your spouse feel you are advising for his\her own good.
Do you feel your spouse is overweight?
‘You are fat and obese’ – crude way of honesty, isn’t it?
‘You would look ravishing\handsome if you lost a few pounds’ – honesty in the proper way.
‘Why don’t you ask for your promotion’ – makes you seem very money minded to your spouse.
‘I think for your talent you should have got your promotion long back. Don’t let the management take you for granted’ – your spouse feels you respect his\her capacity.
3. Look out for the mood of your spouse
When your spouse is in his\her mood swings stop from voicing your frank opinion.
He\she thinks that you are all out to make him\her unhappy.
Never use superlatives like always\never.
Do you say ‘You never ask my opinion’ – Your spouse resents that you are playing the accusing game to the hilt.
‘You always made bad decisions’ – you make your spouse look as if he\she has no intelligence and discerning power.
This is not the right way of being honest with your spouse.
4. Take everything in the right spirit
When you are very quarrelsome and argumentative your spouse is not honest with you.
You take the words of your colleagues\friends in the right spirit, don’t you?
But you assume negative meaning to even the most innocuous comments of your spouse. You fight and argue with him\her for that.
It makes your spouse averse to interact with you with frankness. This is one of the top reason for lack of honesty in your relationship.
Take the words uttered by your spouse in the right spirit.
Never interact with him\her with hostility.
Never try to prove that your spouse is always wrong and you are always right.
Don’t assume a twisted meaning to his\her innocent comments.
If you do so your spouse will definitely refrain from being honest with you.
5. Be very communicative
When you are friendly with your spouse, you find it easy to share your thoughts with him\her without puncturing your relationship.
Never stop communicating with each other.
Be sportive and encouraging towards your spouse.
Do you see how honesty is the best policy of your relationship?
The success ratio of your marriage depends on how much you are honest with your spouse.