Marriage crisis literally turns your married life upside down.
‘Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half-shut afterwards.’ –Benjamin Franklin
What is actually is a marriage crisis?
When the marital problems you face become too intense and oppressive you feel as if your marriage is fast sliding towards failure. You become tensed and stressed in holding your relationship together.
Lots of problems contribute to your marriage crisis.
The initial days of your married life flies past in euphoric delight. You feel elated that you have made a grand success of your relationship.
But the newness of your married life wears off very quickly. After a few months of togetherness you are suddenly brought crashing into the harsh reality of what married life really means. It is not fun and romantic as you thought it to be. It is a very responsible commitment.
Your married life is not as carefree as your love days. In fact you face a procession of problems in your relationship.
What are the common marriage crisis most of you face?
- Financial crisis
- Adjustment crisis
- Compatibility crisis
- Boredom crisis
- Infidelity crisis
Your spouse is not as loving and caring as you thought him\her to be. He\she soon shows his\her many negative characteristics which you never thought existed during your love days. You are confused and bewildered when the true personality of your spouse is totally different from what you dreamed of.
Your spouse also undergoes the same confusion. He\she is taken aback by the so far unknown negative aspects of you.
The struggle to make your marriage stable and lasting now starts.
You marry out of love but end up in marrying problems. Even an innocuous fight between you makes negative inroads in your relationship. Slowly you feel keyed up when you keep on adjusting with the clashing qualities of your spouse.
As years go by the resentment you feel against your spouse is not fleeting, but very forceful.
What are the most common marriage crisis that make you a nervous wreck?
After marriage you have many new financial obligations to be handled. The financial issues of your spouse become yours and yours become his\hers. The loans you had before marriage becomes a tense topic between you.
When you shell out money to fulfill your before marriage commitments your spouse feels angry when there is a deficit in the mutual after-marriage financial obligations.
Small arguments slowly snowballs into vicious fights which make you want to leave your marriage. ‘I would be better off alone’. You often take the extreme step of divorce because of money matters.
Realize that money is a very sensitive topic. It can make or break your marriage. It is always better to confide about your loans and financial commitments to your spouse before marriage itself. This does away with lots of misunderstanding that springs up between you when your spouse comes to know about it after marriage.
- Never borrow or lend money without telling your spouse.
- Have your own personal money. When you are denied money of your own you feel angry that your spouse is leeching you off your hard-earned money.
- If you have dependent parents inform your spouse about it before marriage itself.
Simple money management tricks can make you avoid this most traumatic of marriage crisis.
2. Adjustment crisis
Marriage is a life of adjustments till the day you live together.
‘Familiarity breeds contempt’ this common proverb holds true in your relationship.
When two persons from two diversified family background live together 24\7, it is natural you get bored very easily.
You find the habits of your spouse infuriating.
His\her views about spending money is different from yours.
His\her attitude towards life is entirely different from yours.
What should you do to overcome this common marriage crisis?
- Never make much ado about these differences.
- Accept it as part and parcel of your married life.
- Have your own personal space.
- Never think of changing your spouse as you cannot.
- Love him\her for what he\she is.
3. Extramarital affairs crisis
What is the most important thing you expect from your spouse?
You want him\her to be loyal to you. But, when your spouse betrays your loyalty your world comes crashing to your feet. Your initial bewilderment gives way to deep-rooted anger and you feel you can never forgive him\her.
Extramarital flings are no longer the fault of men alone as women too now have their share of disloyalty.
What makes you do such a callous thing which destroys your marriage?
It is mostly the physical attraction that makes you to cross the line.
The end result of infidelity is always a broken marriage.
- Maintain a dignified distance from the opposite sex.
- Be unflinching in your loyalty towards your spouse.
- Never let your love fade away.
Never compare your spouse in a lesser light with others.
4. Debts crisis
Money rules over your married life. Its stabilizing effect on your relationship is awesome. You need money for your survival and to maintain a good standard of living. Your future and the education of your children need money.
But when your spouse recklessly plunges your family life into bankruptcy you are wild with anger at the injustice done by him\her. Fights and arguments between you become a common scenario in your relationship.
Debts and loans make the love for your spouse take a back seat. Your anger and frustration against him\her takes the driver’s seat.
Money is a fragile and lifeless thing but its impact on marriage is colossal.
- So think and spend.
- Save and spend.
- Avoid borrowing money.
- Live within your budget.
- Don’t spend to show off your wealth.
- Your credit cards is not your money but a plastic loan shark residing in your wallet.
5. Abandonment crisis
When your spouse just disappears from your life, you wonder what happened to the love you had for each other.
Desertion by your spouse inflicts deep hurt in you from which you never recover.
Do you think your spouse deserted you just like that?
You are wrong.
Lots of warning signals were there. You chose to ignore it in your blind love for your spouse. So unknowing to you your marriage crisis lurked near you. If your spouse was truly loving he\she would never think of deserting you.
Be on the red alert when you see tell-tale signs of consistent negligence of your spouse towards you. Talk it out with him\her. Make it clear that you expect him\her to be committed and loyal to you.
What should you do when your spouse deserts you?
It is the toughest period in your life as you are mentally frustrated and depressed.
- Gear yourself up and move ahead in life as your spouse no longer deserves your love.
- Open a new page in your life.
- Concentrate on your own life ahead of you.
- Your spouse no longer has a place in your life.
6. Physical abuse crisis
Does your spouse wound you physically?
Is he\she prone to violent temperaments?
Does he\she throw things at you with the deliberate intention of wounding you?
If this is the scenario of your married life, it is a nightmarish marriage crisis you are going through. It is a plain fact your spouse is behaving in an inhuman way.
- Make your spouse understand that you will not hesitate to complain to the police if you are abused by him\her.
- You are justified in ending your marriage if your life is in danger.
Never drift away from your spouse and plunge your relationship into a marriage crisis. Your marriage needs your dedicated input to make it work. Go all the way to improve your relationship. Never let your problems assume the dangerous level of a crisis.