Unless you avoid fights in your marriage your relationship with your spouse becomes hostile and aggressive.
Why do you fight with your spouse
- In this modern world you have to race against time.
- You have to maintain a good standard of living.
- You have to be highly successful to be noticed by this mercenary society. So you work yourself threadbare.
- You have immense work related stress which drains your energy.
You are totally famished and fatigued. Your nerves are frayed and you find it impossible to keep your temper in control when you interact with your spouse.
Frequent fights and consistent arguments with your spouse wrecks your relationship.
Avoid fights with your spouse to make your married life peaceful and stress-free.
Yes, fighting with your spouse makes you very unhappy that your marriage is an abject failure.
Why do you fight with your spouse?
There are many reasons you fight with your spouse.
When your spouse does not understand your view-point you are tensed. You utter hot words to emphasize your thoughts.
Your spouse also does the same.
Quite a normal scenario in almost all marriages.
You cannot always be smiling and laughing in your interaction with your spouse, can you?
Do arguments and fights mean that your marriage is moving towards failure?
Of course not!
You often yell and shout at your children.
Does it mean you no longer love them?
You never doubt your ardent love for your children even for a second, do you?
Fighting with your spouse does not mean lost love and lost marriage.
When do arguments become a marriage wrecker?
- When you accuse your spouse venomously.
- When use abusive words that hurt him\her deeply.
- When you think you are always right.
- When you lengthen your argument for days.
- When you do not apologize.
- When you bring up old fights into your conversation over and over again.
- When you drag the family of your spouse unnecessarily into your arguments.
- When you fight with the sole intention of inflicting great hurt in him\her.
Can you see how wrongly you are living your married life?
So avoid fights in marriage before it destroys your relationship.
Indulging in frequent fighting with your spouse makes you wonder whether you have married the right person.
Does it mean you cannot fight with your spouse?
Mild fights and arguments add spice to your marriage.
What exactly are mild arguments?
- You spurt out in annoyance due to your momentary anger.
- Your fight with your spouse lasts for just a few hours.
- You make up immediately.
- You forget your anger and your relationship is back to normal.
- You accept your fault and apologize.
In yesteryear there was more understanding between couples. Arguments stayed as arguments. It did not develop into a big issue to destroy relationships. Arguments were patched up and there was general truce between couples.
But today the marriage scenario has completely changed.
- Men are no longer the higher authority of marriage.
- Women have become more assertive and aggressive with their new-found financial freedom.
- Both are not ready to give in.
- Arguments have now turned into ego clashes.
- Both want to outwit the other.
- Adjustability and tolerance is missing in modern marriages.
When there is an argument you do not want to end it. You want to prolong it. You want to take the upper hand. Your words turn violent and vicious. There is mutual mudslinging between you.
What is the result of such a tug of war between you?
It spoils the mood of your marriage. Having a magnifying glass to find faults and mistakes in your spouse makes your relationship highly oppressive.
Top ways to avoid fights in marriage – Makes your relationship comfortable
Accept your spouse as he\she is. Never try to change your spouse according to your wish. It makes him\her wild with resentment. Remember that your spouse is an individual with his\her own unique tastes.
You cannot expect your spouse to think and talk as you want to.
Adjustability can make you stop fighting in marriage
There are days when your spouse is tensed and stressed for petty reasons.
You should understand that your spouse might be suffering from work related stress. Or he\she might be off-color.
Adjusting to the mood swings of your spouse can avoid fights in marriage.
Never covert arguments into bitter fights.
When your spouse is in his\her temperamental elements do not give tit for tat. It only worsens the situation.
Contribute your share to the happiness of your marriage. Both should contribute equally towards making your marriage happy. Who contributes how much does not matter. One day you might contribute seventy-five percent and your spouse a meager twenty percent.
Does that one day of lack of contribution from your spouse mean he\she is not worthy of your love?
The next day you might contribute a miserly twenty percent to your marital happiness. Your spouse contributes the rest eighty percent.
The percentage is again hundred percent isn’t it?
Good marriage always works this way.
You should not sharpen your claws and give punch for punch in your arguments. If you do there is no hundred percent in your marriage. A sure sign of a failed marriage!
Pointing the faults of your spouse is the main reason for your fights.
Does this mean you cannot pinpoint the wrong of your spouse?
Of course you have the right. But you should do it a proper and reasonable way. It should not be an exchange of bitter words, but a cordial discussion of changing each other for a better relationship.
Acknowledge the fact that the mentality of a husband and wife is entirely different.
When the inner need of your husband is denied and ignored by you, he fights with you.
When you are callous to the emotional needs of your wife she nags you.
So the simple trick is to see everything from the viewpoint of your spouse.
An easy formula both should follow.
But modernity in marriage has robbed it of its true meaning. You fight for equality which is already there. You fight over problems that come and go. You fight about who contributes most for the family.
You clash as though you were two enemies fighting for supremacy.
What should you do to avoid fights and arguments in your married life?
- Do not trespass into the privacy of your spouse.
- If there is something that you do not like about your spouse, overlook it
- When you feel that your fight is going out of control, do not feel egoistic to give in. It takes two hands to make a noise.
- When your spouse is in his\her temperamental elements move away from that place.
- Do not utter words that scars your relationship.
- Do not alienate yourself from your spouse as the rift between you will widen.
There is one easy way to avoid fights in marriage. Acknowledge the male needs of your husband. Acknowledge the womanly needs of your wife. this is the only way to avoid fights in your marriage.