5 top reasons for generation gap with your children can make your interaction with them tensed and stressed. What exactly does generation gap mean?
The wide rift between your experienced outlook and the experimental attitude of your children to learn from trial and error is called generation gap. Yes! Most of you do not understand the tender world of your children. It makes your children feel that you are a dictator who wants things done your way.
Their young mind revolt when you intrude into their private world.
After all they are also individuals, aren’t they?
Just because they are your children it does not mean you can dictate terms and condition of their life. But this is what you do. And this is what your children do not like. Your children term it as generation gap.
Why is there generation gap between you and your children?
- You are judgmental and critical about whatever they do.
- You question their actions.
- You lecture them about how they should behave.
- You never allow them experiment.
- You do not let them to learn from their mistakes.
This is hundred percent authentic generation gap!
But you never accept the fact that there is a wide generation gap between you and your children. You always think you are a perfect parent.
What makes you think that you are a fantastic parent?
- I buy them costly things which I did not have the luxury of enjoying when I was young.
- I take them for vacations to exotic places.
- They study in the best school\college.
Do you feel these are the criteria’s to call yourself a good parent?
These are your basic parental duties.
Ask your children whether you are a good parent!.
The feel otherwise. They think that there is a wide generation gap between you and them.
- My parents do not give me liberty to be myself
- They expect me to do things their way
- They do not spend time with me.
- If at all they spend time with me, they are very preachy and lecturing.
- They do not have the patience to listen to me.
This is what generation gap is all about! How diversified you and your children are in thoughts and actions!
It is strange you do not have emotional bond with your children though you work yourself threadbare for their betterment..
‘My mother is always talking in the mobile. She halfheartedly listens to whatever I say and snaps back at me when I demand her attention’
This statement of an eight year old to a newspaper interview sums up the pathetic state of the relationship between you and your children.
- ‘My parents always bring their workload home.
- They spend their time at home either before the laptop or watch some TV shows which does not interest me.
- They cite their tiredness and ask me not to disturb them.
- I am forced to spend my time with video games or chatting with my friends
These are the common negative comments most children have about their parents.
- You never truly understand your children.
- You do not have the patience to listen to their point of view.
- You thrust your ideas on them.
- You preach them instead of interacting with friendliness.
5 top reasons for generation gap with your children
- You do not talk their language!
What does this actually mean? The young world of your children is different from your adult world. They want to experiment life and understand it from their viewpoint. But you would not agree to it. You feel they are too independent and decisive.
How did you feel when your parents thrust their ideas on you? You felt there was immense generation gap between you and your parents, didn’t you? You craved for freedom to decide your life.
How can you expect your children to be different?
It is true you do not want your children to suffer from mistakes as you did.
But the young blood of your children feel that they are capable of handling their life with great willpower. Why don’t you allow them to learn from their mistakes? It will do them a world of good. Experience can be a great teacher. Let them evolve by themselves.
- You keep finding mistakes
Your children are very young and so are bound to make mistakes. When they make mistakes you should realize that they are in the learning process. This is the time for you to be a supporting parent. Be their best friend. They should be certain that you would be there for them when they are doubtful and hesitant about certain aspects of life.
Never push them forcefully to your way of thinking and doing things. They hate it. Just be a guide to show them the proper way and step back. They will love you for this.
- You want your children to be your Xerox copy!
You have great dreams about your children. You want them to live your dream. You want them to follow your dreams. If you are a doctor you want your children to pursue medicine, irrespective of the fact whether he\she likes it or not.
Your children might be from you, but they are not you. How would you have reacted if your parents made you live their life? You would have revolted, won’t you? In fact most of you must be licking your wounded feelings when your parents made you their Xerox copy. Do not do that to your children.
- You always compare your children!
In your anxiety to make your children successful, you compare them with their more intelligent friends. This is one quality your children hates about you.
‘He\she is very studious’’.
‘He\she is more responsible’
‘You are not as good as your friend’
Do you utter such words to your children?
It kills their enthusiasm. It instills in them lack of confidence. They hate comparisons. Do not do that.
Instead you should appreciate them. You should praise their tiny success. It makes them feel worthy. They need appreciation more than anything else from you.
- You do not interact with your children
Do you interact with your children?
Talking with your children to do this and that is not interacting with them. It is ordering them about.
- They want your friendly interaction.
- They want you to listen to them with loving care.
- They want your unconditional support.
- They want you to laugh along with them.
But you are too stressed and tensed by you work related problems that you do not have the energy to spend quality time with them. In fact you thrust your anger and frustration on them. This makes them deviate from you mentally and psychologically. Video games\browsing the internet\chatting with their friends become their pass time.
Give your children emotional security. They crave for it. Respect their individuality. It makes them confident. Interact with them with friendliness. They love you for this. Do not order them. They will not obey you. Do not abuse them. They will lie to you.
Bringing up your children is an art. Your children love you and cling to you when they are kids. But as they grow up they develop individualistic and independent characteristics. Respect it. Treat your children with friendly love and not with dominating love. Your children adore you for this. Close the generation gap by giving them freedom and liberty to be themselves.