You have to stop being clingy in relationship, if you want to avoid unwanted resentment between both.
Why do you actually act clingy in relationship?
When you are unsure of the love your spouse has for you, you literally leech on to him\her to hold him\her in your tight possessive grip.
When you are too possessive about your spouse, you cannot bear to share him\her with others. So, you turn clingy and demanding.
Most of you feel that it is your intense love that makes you clingy in relationship. But your spouse thinks otherwise.
When you act clingy with your spouse, it makes him\her react in a way, totally opposite to what you exactly want. Your spouse does not feel loved by you. He\she feels caged, smothered, and stiflingly oppressed.
How exactly are you being clingy in relationship?
- You keep calling your spouse many times during work hours. You never realize you are disturbing him\her.
- You never allow him\her to have personal time.
- You want your spouse to spend time only with you.
- You ask multiple times whether your spouse loves you, until he\she feels bored about it.
- You keep texting thousands of messages conveying your love that your spouse feels overwhelmingly jailed.
You are doing it all wrong, you know.
Understand that spacing is the key to a happy marriage. When you never let go your spouse, he\she inwardly cringes in revulsion at your clinging attitude.
You have to stop being clingy in relationship if you want the sustained love of your spouse.
What exactly should you do to avoid being clingy in relationship?
Here goes!
1. Understand that your spouse loves you
You become clingy only when you are unsure of the love of your spouse.
This is the reason you become green with envy, when your spouse spends time with his\her parents\friends\relatives.
Being married to you does not take away the rights of your spouse to have his\her own personal zone and personal likings. If your spouse spends time with others, it in no way signals that his\her love for you has lessened.
2. Have your own personal space
When your spouse does not display his\her love for you the way you expect, you fight with him\her. This is not good for your relationship.
Divert your thoughts from being too focused on your spouse by having your own personal zone.
You should have your own activities. You should have hobbies, which makes your time exciting without having to cling on to your spouse.
Keep yourself mentally occupied. Do things which makes you happy and fulfilled. When you have your own things to do, you will become less clinging and possessive
3. Analyze your mistakes
If your spouse wants to spend too much time away from you, the culprit could be you. When you always crib about something to your spouse, it makes him\her feel bored to interact with you.
If you keep on questioning your spouse, he\she does not like interacting with you.
When keep on arguing with your spouse, all he\she wants is time away from you.
Can you understand that it is your behavior that makes your spouse stay away from you?
So, when you are reasonable and friendly, your spouse adores to spend his\her time with you.
Do you also know that you need not be clingy to make your spouse spend time with you?
Your friendly nature automatically makes him\her adore the time spent with you.
4. Don’t beg for attention
Begging for the attention of your spouse does not serve any purpose. Understand that love and affection cannot be commanded and demanded. It should evolve by itself.
When you beg your spouse for love, it makes him\her withdraw from you in frustration. He\she feels you are making a big fuss about something which he\she already has for you.
Your love should speak for itself. Your dignity should be conveyed through your mature love. When you never beg for attention, it makes your spouse like you for it.
5. Follow your passion
When you have nothing to do, you become over-possessive and clinging. Your spouse should not be your entire life.
You should have a life of your own – a passion to follow. It might be gardening\pets\hobbies\writing or anything which keeps you mentally occupied.
When you have something to occupy your mind, you do not want to spend your entire time clinging to your spouse.
6. Be social
Never depend entirely on your spouse for your social activities, as it might trigger unnecessary arguments between you.
You must indulge in many personal social activities, which keeps you busy. Meet your friends. Mingle with people.
Stay with your parents for a few days. Go for long walks alone, or with friends.
7. Don’t have unwanted doubts about your spouse
When you have doubts about the love of your spouse, you want to be with him\her always.
Sometimes your mind feels confused when your spouse spends his\her time by himself\herself. You assume that his\her lack of love wants him\her to spend time away from you.
It is not lack of love which makes your spouse spend time alone. He\she is an individual and so likes to do things he\she likes without involving you. There is nothing wrong in it.
So, throw away the unwanted doubts about the love of your spouse.
8. Take care of yourself
You might crave to do many things for yourself. Do those things.
Do you want to groom yourself? – Indulge yourself.
Do you want to go shopping? – You have all the right to do it.
Do you like listening to good music? – Listen.
Do you like learning new things? – Learn it.
When you look after yourself, your need to be clingy in relationship disappears.
9. Be emotionally stable
Your spouse likes it when you are calm and reasonable. When you know how to look after yourself, your spouse feels relaxed.
When you do not create scenes demanding his\her attention, his\her admiration for you grows.
When you understand that your spouse needs his\her own spacing, he\she loves you for it.
10. Be confident
Lack of confidence in one of the top reasons why you are unable to let go your spouse.
When you are confident, you don’t need the constant presence of your spouse to make you happy.
Your confidence makes you enjoy your own personal life without depending on your spouse.
CONCLUSION
Your spouse is your life partner, not your slave. You can love your spouse deeply, but you cannot make him\her to be at your beck and call.
Can you now understand why being clingy in relationship gives adverse results?
So, it is time you forgo it!
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