Most of you are bored with your marriage, aren’t you?
The daily routine, the never-ending family responsibilities, oppressive relationship problems make you wonder why you married at all.
‘Aunty, I am terribly bored with my marriage’.
I looked at my friend’s daughter with bewilderment as I had always thought she was happily married.
Why?’ I smiled at her.
‘Well aunty, it is the same routine every day. There is nothing new in my married life to cause any excitement’.
My thoughts went to the day of her wedding and rosy glow of happiness she had in her face. And here she was bored with her marriage just after a few years.
She is not a lone figure in feeling so. She is in fact one among the millions of couples who feel that their marriage is a big bore.
Why are you bored with your marriage?
- Routine and mundane lifestyle.
- Work related stress.
- Mental and physical tiredness.
All these are typical reasons why you are bored with your marriage.
Shall we look at your married life?
Monday to Friday
- You get up tiredly with your mind tensed about the hectic day ahead.
- You feel your spouse is irresponsible in not sharing your work. So you start the day arguing with him\her.
- Your nerves creep up at the lethargic way your children get ready for school.
- You feel jumpy about your nasty boss\higher officials.
- You curse the traffic jam and arrive late for work.
- You adjust with your not-so cooperative colleagues in your work place. But your inner mind recoils in suppressed anger.
- You return home dead tired and carry your work related tension along with you.
- You do not have the energy to interact with your spouse.
- You watch TV\play video games.
- You eat an uninteresting dinner.
- You retire to bed with your head hammering with worry about yet another chaotic tomorrow.
- You go out with your family. You halfheartedly enjoy yourself.
- You catch up with the pending household chores.
- You feel your energy draining as Sunday comes to an end.
- Your mind is alarmed that you have to again face hectic week days from Monday.
Indeed very dull routine, isn’t it?
It is not surprising you are bored with your marriage.
But are you ever bored with spending time with your friends?
Why is it so?
The answer is simple.
- You have no responsibility towards your friends.
- You can talk about anything with your friends.
- You need not censor your words.
- There is no misinterpretation of what you say.
So you feel comfortable in the company of your friends.
But in marriage the atmosphere is altogether different.
There are many family responsibilities you have to fulfill. You have to deal with emotions 24\7. Dealing with emotions can be taxing and exhausting. Responsibilities pull your energy down to the rock bottom. Your married life puts loads of duties on your already stooping shoulders.
You are bored with your married life for other reasons also.
More than your family duties, your day-to-day existence with your spouse is very predictable and very mundane. Your interaction is mostly about family commitments – very confrontational and very argumentative. It makes your relationship stifling and choking.
You thrust your work related tension on your spouse. Your spouse also has the same work related stress. He\she will not take your arguments lightly. The war of words you exchange with your spouse makes you wonder at the very basics of your marriage.
If you let your relationship slip into boredom, you miss the true and actual happiness that marriage can give you.
Husband thinks his wife is a nag.
He feels ‘It is better to keep my mouth shut and escape her never-ending babble about my drawbacks’. So he builds a wall of silence around himself.
Wife thinks her husband takes her for granted.
‘He thinks I am here to look after him and that it is my duty to be at his beck and call. He never seems to care for me’.
So you keep on pointing out his mistakes. You just cannot stop yourself.
There is no loving conversation between you. Whenever you talk you fight as if you were enemies.
When husband becomes aloof and wife becomes a nag married life becomes very boring and dull.
Top reasons why you are bored with your marriage.
Is it possible to bring liveliness into your relationship so that you are not bored with your married life?
Of course you can!
Are you bored with your marriage? – Drive it away with these will-definitely-work tips
1. Friendliness is the key to keep your marriage alive and kicking. You should be able to discuss anything with your spouse.
Do not always keep talking about financial matters or about your work tension at home. You will become tensed if your conversation is always serious and staid.
Talk about movies, funny happenings in your office or innocuous family gossips – anything that is light and care free.
2. It can be anything, like watching movies or reading books or even listening to music. This makes you spend fun time together.
3. Do household chores together. Enjoy it. It brings you emotionally close to each other when you feel your spouse is always there to share your work.
4. When your wife wants to watch her favorite soaps you move away to play video games.
When your husband watches his favorite sports you irritatingly move off from there.
You would be surprised if you notice how much time both spend away from each other.
Instead choose programs that interest both of you. Watch it together.
Comedy shows enliven your time as you can laugh together.
Sitting in close proximity with your spouse liven up your marriage.
5. Go for long walks. Don’t discuss family issues on the way as you end up fighting.
Visit places you haunted during your dating days.
6. Birthdays of your spouse and wedding anniversaries are all occasions where you can show your love. Do not overlook the birthday of your spouse as a routine day.
Plan it beforehand and involve your children. Spring loving surprise on your spouse by buying gifts which he\she longed for.
7. Go through your marriage photos frequently. Brings back nostalgic memories of your D-day, you know.
8. Plan a date without your children. Your parents can take care of them. It is a must- we- time you definitely need to drive boredom away from your married life.
9. Visit the parents of your spouse. It makes him\her feel very loving towards you.
10. Shopping together makes you unwind your tired mind. Buying things you wanted makes you happy. Shopping within budget is very essential as otherwise both end in an accusing game of wanton spending.
It is up to you to make your marriage interesting and involving. When you take your spouse for granted, your marriage slips into aggravated resentment and discontentment.
If you ignore the sensitiveness of your spouse, he\she will also become insensitive. If you thrust your tension and stress on your spouse you will experience the same from her\him. If you draw away from your spouse she\he too draws away from you.
Have reciprocal transparency in your relationship. Laugh together. Support each other. Friendliness, tolerating faults, sharing responsibilities, compatibility and relentless emotional support are qualities which makes your marriage ever new.