Do you know that most couples fight over children for the silliest of reasons?
Do you know that children are the cementing force that often fix broken marriages?
Then, why is it most couples fight over children?
The answer is simple.
Your life changes drastically after the birth of your children. Though you adore them, bringing them up is tough and not that easy.
During yester years, bringing up children was not as tough as it is today.
In those days, education of children was not very costly. There was less competition. You did not have the compulsion of displaying great standard of living.
There was no craze to show off before your friends about your great living style by making your child study in a high-end school you could never afford.
Most of all, women stayed behind to look after the children and family. They meekly looked after the family.
So, the tug of war about who should look after the children did not exist then.
How times have changed today!
Women now go out to work. They have become very assertive and confident. They insisting on having a say in the upbringing of their children.
‘I want my children to be disciplined and well-behaved. So, I am rather strict with them, you know’ my friend told me.
‘Well, nothing wrong in showing a wee bit of strictness’, I agreed with her.
‘But my husband tells me that I am too dominating and strict with the children. We fight daily about how to bring them up’ she further added.
She is one among the many couples who fight over children. It is strange that children who give you pleasure and fulfillment make you fight over them also.
Are you like other couples who fight over children?
Never forget that they are your combined responsibility.
What are the common reasons you fight with your spouse regarding your children?
- You have different views about bringing up your children.
- You are lavish in spending money for the children. But, your spouse is concentrated on saving it. Or, it is vice versa.
- Your dreams about your children is totally in contrast with that of your spouse.
- You feel you have more rights over them than your spouse.
In the bargain, you forget that your children will have their own unique characteristics when they grow up.
They will be neither you, nor your spouse.
Almost all couples fight over children for reasons which could easily be avoided.
Here goes the reasons.
1. Couples fight over children about money
Invariably you differ from your spouse about spending money for the children.
While you might want to save, he\she might want to spend liberally.
This starts arguments between you about the management of money.
‘You never think of our financial security. You are totally irresponsible and reckless’ I am sure many of you have used these words when you like saving money while your spouse is prone on spending rather than on saving.
‘You are always stingy and miserly. You don’t love your children as I do. You never buy them what they want’ this is your judgment when you are the indulgent parent and your spouse is very tight-fisted on money.
You can easily avoid this unwanted confrontation between you.
Mutual discussion about the ways to spend money for the children is the only solution to this easily avoidable problem.
2. Couples fight over children about sharing household chores
Looking after children can be draining and tiring also.
Your children are ever hungry. You have to prepare them dishes they like. Your kitchen sink always overflows with unwashed dishes.
Your nerves creep in alarm when you see the filth and dirt your children make.
You want your spouse to share your work burden. When he\she overlooks it, great fight ensues between you. Your children are the helpless spectators.
Never forget that your children are your combined responsibility. Never hold yourself away from sharing household chores with your spouse.
This does away with unwanted arguments, you know.
3. Couples fight over children regarding their education
You have great futuristic vision about the education of your children. You want them to be successful and affluent.
But, this often leads to fights and arguments between you.
You argue about their field of education.
You argue about the school\college they should study.
You want your ideas to be implemented. Your spouse wants his\her thoughts to have a say.
Both are wrong. Don’t thrust your ideas on your children. Give top priority to their dreams. And understand your dreams need not be theirs.
4. Couples fight over children regarding bringing them up
There are no two pampering parents in reality.
There are no two strict parents, either.
Mostly, one is a strict parent while the other is indulgent and pampering.
You might the strict parent. Your spouse might the pampering and lenient one.
It could be vice versa also.
In fact, this contrasting attitude of both in bringing up your children is good for them.
Are you wondering how?
When you are a strict parent, you want your children to behave impeccably. You teach them good manners and behavior. So, you act a little strict and disciplinary with them.
What happens when your spouse is also a strict disciplinarian?
The life of your children becomes too overwhelmingly disciplinary for them. They yearn and long for the pampering and breezy childhood, their friends are enjoying.
It is good when one plays the role of molding the children while the other gives them the joy of bubbly childhood.
5. Couples fight over children regarding their profession also
Your work often becomes a heated topic between you.
When your work timings is different, one of you has to bear the brunt of looking after your children.
If your workplace is near and your work timings is flexible, you return home early. But you face yet another daunting work load – looking after your ever demanding children.
This makes you fatigued and groggy. You are so tired that you feel your spouse is getting away from looking after the children.
Never forget that you are working for the betterment of your children. Your profession should never be the cause for arguments between you.
Have a cordial discussion with your spouse about the work to be shared.
Your children should not be the reason for your arguments. Coordinate with your spouse in bringing up your children.
Your children give your married life great emotional security. Often, they are an anchor to your troubled marriage. They are the wonder medicine to your struggling relationship. Never ever, make them the topmost cause you argue and fight with your spouse.
Here is a question for you!
Have you ever fought with your spouse regarding your children?
Share your experience with us.