One-sided relationship can make you feel emotionally shattered as it is always about you.
What exactly happens in a one-sided relationship?
- You are the only one to apologize after an argument.
- You are the only one accountable when there is a family issue.
- Your spouse never bothers to look after your children, as if they were your sole responsibility.
- You are always pointed as a culprit behind any relationship problems you face.
- When there is a financial problem, your spouse never feels it is his\her duty to share it with you.
Very tough, isn’t it?
When you are the only one who contributes to your marriage without any support from your spouse, you are unlucky to be in a one-sided relationship.
Is that the only problem you suffer from?
Wait!
There are many more agonies in store for you.
When your spouse never gives you moral support, you feel emotionally drained and frustrated. You are so resentful against the uncaring attitude of your spouse that you feel you are being taken for granted.
The continued thrusting of responsibility on you makes you want to confront your spouse about the one-sidedness of it, isn’t it?
What exactly should you do to handle this rather emotionally overwhelming situation?
Should you overlook it?
No.
Should you confront your spouse about it?
No.
Both ways it is wrong.
If you confront your spouse about it, it develops into an unpleasant fight between you. Both blame each other as the culprit behind your one sided relationship.
But, you cannot avoid talking about it. Unless you talk, your spouse will never know about your feelings. He\she cannot get away that easily.
Never begin your discussion by directly accusing your spouse, as he\she will mentally withdraw from you.
If your emotions are raw, withhold talking about it at that moment. If you hold discussions at this point of time, you can be very accusing and blaming. You will be bitterly criticizing, instead of being focused on pointing out the aspects which makes you feel that you are in a one-sided relationship.
This will make your spouse go on the defensive. He\she shows stone wall reaction – that is no reaction to all your accusations. You might as well be talking to a wall.
How to begin the conversation about your one-sided relationship?
Initially, you should observe whether your spouse is in a mood to listen. When he\she is in a foul mood, it is better to postpone your discussion, as you will not get anything out of it.
Don’t start your conversation by listing out your accusations. This will immediately make your spouse go into his\her shell.
Make your emotions felt through your reasonable explanations.
Your spouse might try to make you the culprit. But you have to be firm to point out his\her mistakes. You cannot let your spouse get away from responsibilities. You have to make him\her understand it.
What exactly is the best way to deal with a one-sided relationship?
There are many facets in your relationship which needs the involvement of both. It can never be one-sided. Your spouse must understand it.
Here goes!
1. Dealing with the one-sidedness in family issues
You never know when family issues between you will crop up.
An argument between you can brew up without any warning. Unless both make it up, it can destroy your marriage.
You cannot always be the one to make up after your argument. If your spouse was wrong, he\she is morally obliged to apologize to you.
You might be physically and mentally exhausted. Unless your spouse supports you, you might chip under the pressure.
When you are feeling drained, it is the duty of your spouse to give you moral support.
These are basic relationship niceties, which makes you feel, that your spouse is also holding himself\herself equally accountable.
Simple tactics, isn’t it?
2. Dealing with the one-sidedness in dealing with financial commitments
The financial commitments of your family is never one-sided. It is always mutual.
Allocation of money is one of the most argumentative issues in your marriage. You are enraged when your spouse never shares your family’s financial commitments equally with you.
You should have a discussion with your spouse about the allocation of money so that you do not feel fleeced by him\her.
Easier said than done, isn’t it?
3. Dealing with one-sided emotions
You cannot be the only one loving. You cannot be the only one supporting. You cannot be the only one sharing. You cannot be the only one responsible. You cannot be the only one communicating.
Marriage is always a two-way path. Unless your spouse reciprocates to your emotions, you feel unloved, used, and neglected in your relationship.
4. Dealing with one-sided interaction
When you are in a one-side relationship, it is you who initiate a conversation, as your spouse is not bothered to interact with you.
Whenever you talk, he\she acts as though you don’t exist. Your spouse looks everywhere, except at you. You never feel like a normal couple when your spouse does not interact with you.
It is as though you are strangers, isn’t it?
Try to interact with your spouse with friendliness. Don’t always bring in family issues into your topic as it makes your interaction heated up. When he\she is not in a mood to interact, never feel depressed. You have many things to do to make yourself happy.
CONCLUSION
Living through a one side relationship is not an easy joke. Marriage is always about sharing emotions, responsibilities, and love. When one withdraws as if he\she has nothing to do with it, everything about your marriage turns hostile and resentful.
You don’t want this to happen to your relationship, do you?
Maharajan says
Nicely said… 👍