You often ask yourself whether your husband truly loves you, don’t you?
You always feel that your husband does not care for you as he is not openly demonstrative of his love.
Yes!
Your husband is often deadpan and wooden about his love for you.
Do not get too upset about it because there are tell tale signs that your husband truly love you.
Keep an eagle eye over the activities of your husband. It is because your husband often lets down his guard through which you can know that he loves you.
‘I love you’ are the magic words you want to hear from your husband.
Often.
Always!
Your husband kept repeating these thrilling love words before marriage, didn’t he?
But you are disappointed when your husband no longer says those words after marriage.
In fact, your husband becomes very practical in his interaction with you.
This attitude of your husband in being noncommital about his love for you literally unnerves you. You are now no longer confident whether your husband loves you at all.
You yearn for the vibrant love your husband displayed during your dating days, don’t you?
- Has your husband really changed from a romantic lover to a staid husband?
- Does your husband not love you as fervently as before?
- Has his love for you taken a back seat after marriage?
- Why does not your husband fdisplay his love for you openly?
Do not worry.
Your husband truly loves you.
‘Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.’- H.Jackson Brown.Jr
But you must realize one harsh fact about your husband.
As a man, your husband is very down to earth. He assumes that you understand his love.
And your husband feels that showing love for you is not a big deal.
‘Do I have to say my love for my wife in words?’
‘Why cannot my wife understand through my actions how much I care and love her?’
Can you see how your practical husband is matter-of-fact that you should not expect him to act like a lover boy after marriage?
But as a woman, you need open display of love to feel emotionally secure in your married life.
You are rather disappointed when your husband becomes aloof and dull in his interaction after marriage.
But if you are eagle-eyed, you can see the tell tale signs that your husband loves you.
Men have a subtle way of expressing their love. If you understand your husband perfectly, you too can understand his love. There are many a time your husband shows through his actions that he cares and loves you.
Yes!
The actions of your husband speak the language of love to you.
Understand that your husband truly love you through these tell tale signs
What does your husband do during his weekends?
Does your husband always spend his free time with his friends?
Does he not stay at home?
If so, your husband prefers the company of his friends more than you. But if your husband spends his weekends with you, it clearly shows he feels at home with you.
When your husband stays at home, instead of being out with his friends, it implicitly shows he likes being with you.
There is yet another subtle way to know your husband loves you.
Your husband might be interacting with his relatives\friends during family functions or a get together. But your husband often has direct eye contact with you. His eyes instantly lights up when you return his look.
This clearly shows that your husband is staying emotionally connected with you.
It also shows that your husband truly love you.
When the parents\relatives of your husband say something demeaning about you, he immediately springs to your support.
This is a unique way of saying he loves you.
A loving husband will never tolerate anything said against his wife.
Is your husband humorous and fun loving when he is with you?
It definitely shows he is comfortable in your company. When he is humorous and laughs a lot with you, he is definitely showing he adores your companionship.
Does your husband keep calling you from his work place when you are sick?
A definite show of his caring love.
Your husband is very worried about your health and craves for your speedy recovery.
Does your husband return early from work to take care of the children?
Your husband is a perfect loving family man.
Does your husband have a worrying look in his face when you look downcast and worried?
Yet another emphatic sign that your husband truly loves you.
Are you are going to your mother’s house?
Does your husband have a lost look in his face?
A sure sign your husband is going to miss you.
“The first day of your absence is always my bachelor’s day” my husband used to tell me whenever I was on my annual trip to my mother’s place.
“Really! What about the subsequent days?” I asked him playfully.
“Well, the second day would be just fine” my husband would smile.
“But from the third day onwards, my days would lengthen into loneliness. I long for your arrival and keep counting the days” the words of my husband proved how much he loved me.
When I and my daughter arrived at home after a week’s stay at my mother’s place, my husband would be waiting for us at the gate.
He would have a cup of steaming coffee ready for us. What a wonderful way to say that he missed me.
What does your husband do when he has any problems?
When you are the first person with whom your husband confides his problems, he shows how much he likes your advice and emotional support.
Yet another sign your husband loves you.
Does he show all facets of his character to you?
An excellent sign of his love. Your husband should be his true self with you.
I know a friend of mine who was very humorous with his colleagues. But when he enters his house he is silence personified.
“I was flabbergasted when my usually morose husband laughed and laughed with a friend whom we happened to meet while shopping. You can never understand how hurt I felt. I never knew he laughed so much. He had never been like this with me” his wife told me tearfully.
Does your husband discuss his hobbies with you?
He treats you as his friend and likes your company.
Does he apologize for the anger he showed?
It shows that your husband dislikes hurting you. He does not have any ego in making up with you.
Another tell -tale sign of his love.
So, never worry if you husband no longer says “I love you”.
You should understand that your husband shows his love in his own way.
When you do not nag, your husband feels good to be at home. When you cook well for him, he sees a mother in you.
When you look good, your husband loves looking at you.
When you lend a supporting shoulder, your husband feels emotionally sheltered. When you do not let down your husband in his failures and defeats, he feels you are his dream wife.
Can you see how often your husband shows that he loves you?
Your husband will never shout “I love you” for the whole world to hear.
But your husband will subtly show in many ways, how much you mean to him.
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Clare says
I don’t know if my husband loves me… when I was pregnant with our second born he changed a lot. He started coming home late, he doesn’t show any affection at all, and we r sleeping in different rooms yet he says he loves me. Advise accordingly.
Mathi says
Clare,
Don’t worry. I think your husband feels overwhelmed by the thought of bringing up two children. Was your husband loving before? Did he change afterwards?
Why don’t you know whether your husband loves you? This is main fault of men. They never demonstrate love. Do not let your husband deviate from you. You might drift too far away if you allow him to isolate himself. Talk to him and ask him about his changed behavior. He cannot let you fend for yourself and sleep alone. You need him the most now. It is his duty to take care of you.
badira says
Hello,I am married within 9monthes ,at first month my husband gave me attention,kissed me,called me,sayed to me he loves me,from the second month he does not gave me attention,does not call me within 8monthes does not kiss me ,he only hurt me ,fighted with me sayed me bad words and wonted to divorse with me three times ,i faund in his phone women’s picter and messages ,I do not know what to do,please give me advice
Mathi says
Badira,
The initial stages of marriage is always tough. You have to get used to one another. In marriage it is always a two way path. You cannot make it work without the support of your husband and he cannot make it without your support.
Do not deviate from your husband as this makes both drift apart. Be understanding and patient to draw your husband towards you. If you yell and shout he will feel justified in doing what he does. This is the way of men. Talk to him reasonably. Be presentable at home. Be flexible and understanding. One word of caution though. Do not be meek as your husband will try to dominate you. Be confident to handle your relationship problems. Don’t lose heart. It takes time for your relationship to settle down.
dee jenny says
I have been married for 11yrs nw my husband suspects every thing I do to the extent of checking my mails and calling numbers on my phone,the latest now is his threat to kill me I have been on the run for three days now please I need an advice on what to do
Mathi says
dee jenny
Suspicion in marriage is a trauma. You cannot take the threat of killing by your husband lightly. It is a crime. You should seek help from your parents to deal with such a atrocious behavior from your husband. If your husband goes out of control you can definitely seek the help of police also. Take action immediately to save yourself.
raj rani says
i have been married since 25 years and for the sake of my children i did not take divorce . he is very aggressive n dominating n controls everything ,he uses abusive language in front of children also.now i am fed up
.What to do now?
Mathi says
raj rani,
You say you have been married for 25 years. Have you let your husband dominate you for all these years? You have wasted your married life. Your husband will continue to abuse you if you allow him to do so. You should never let it happen. It is not late now also. Tell him that he cannot treat you like this any longer. Talk to him in a reasonable manner. Make him understand your feelings. It is no use if I advise you. It is your life. You have to make things happen. You should not be cowed down by your dominating husband. Stand up to him.
veni says
Hi mam,
My husband does not talk much to me. He only asks whatever is required. In the initial days i am asking to spend much time with me. When i goes to him to talk any thing he responds . It means he things as I am his responsibility not as love.I want him to spend to spend more time with me. what to do? suggest pls.
Mathi says
Veni,
Don’t worry. Most men are like your husband. If you want your husband to spend more time with you, you must interest him. Be presentable. Be humorous. Never nag him. Be confident. Your husband will respect and like you when you are assertive. Give him his space. Gradually he will open up to you.
krishnaveni says
Hi mam,
My husband do not talk too much with me. and says u talk with me i will respond to u.
He only talks when there any requirement. Does he thinks me as responsibility or love.
I want to be his love not as responsibility. what i want to do? He wont chit chat with me like all friends do and says that i am a small girl. Is this becoz of arranged marriage? Is this also happens in love marriages?
Mathi says
Hi krishnaveni,
Most men are like your husband.They never know how to express their love. Do you argue with your husband? He does not like it. Never nag him. Talk to him in a friendly manner. Make his time with your playful and pure fun. It might make him change his attitude towards you.
Marwa says
I have been married for 6 years my husband always insulted and make me confuse when i said do not insulted me he said I will divorce you.
Mathi says
Marwa,
Don’t be intimidated by the threat of your husband. It is his way of dominating you. Be confident and assertive. When he insults you, pretend that it does not affect you in any way. This will definitely make your husband uncertain. Only when you show that you are affected by his behavior will your husband continue to emotionally torture you.Never be cowed down by your husband.
Hasina says
A good guide line
Really helpful
Thanks
Mathi says
Thanks you for your continued support Hasina.
Mathi says
I cannot thank you enough for your continued support, Hasina.
Anu says
Mathi, mind it whatever u say, You are showing wrong path to women. Why you are asking them to keep quite, be presentable and listen their husbands abuses and compromise. Till how many days woman gonnu compromise the situation.
Mathi says
Anu,
Have you read all my articles? I also write how a husband should love his wife. So married life is about both. A happy married life involves a husband who cares and respects his wife and a wife who cares and loves her husband. It is as simple as that.
Sudha says
Hi, i have a doubt that my husband is cheating on me . We have been married for 3 years but for the past 2 years he is never home early and always away on weekends he is always yelling at me also. I love him so much but he never treats me as his priority.please help he never spends time with me but always says i love u.
Mathi says
Sudha,
You say your husband says he loves you. Trust him. When you keep nagging him he will never like to spend time with you. You should make his time at home happy and comfortable by being caring and loving. You will definitely say a positive change in his behavior. Suspicion can kill your married life.
Aisha says
Hello maam, my husband is very much professional and practical and m very emotional..i take good care of all his needs. the problem is that at home after office he is busy with television by the time i m free with all my household works of joint family its his time to sleep and so he goes to sleep sometimes talks to me sometimes even without talking. on sundays also he is busy with all his pending newpapers then he watches movies on laptops alone. he is very interested in spending lot of time alne. though i know that he loves me still i want help from you so that he give me some time and importance as a wife to cheerup our marriage.
Mathi says
Aisha,
Women are always emotional and men are always practical. This is the main cause for unhappiness in married life. You say you are in a joint family. Do you speak about family problems with your husband? This might put off your husband as he wouldn’t know how to handle it. This could be the reason for the non communication of your husband.
Talk about non family issues with your husband. Do not argue with him. Be friendly with him. Talk about your problems in a reasonable manner. When your husband feels good in your company he will begin to interact with you more. You too would enjoy a good married life. Good luck.
Helen Sherlock says
Women are always emotional, and men are more practical’????
Who are you?!
I have never read such sexist tripe, from a so called marriage counsellor
Asiah says
Hello ma’am
I have graduated from a reputable University but my husband is less educated.He becomes toxic at times and emotionally abuses me.he tries to reject my point of view and degrades me when he wants his wish to be fulfilled and forces me to keep quiet even when is one wrong path.I suffer from chronic body ache and depression.he does not take me to the Dr plus expects me to press clothes and entertain forty people of his family and wants me in bed but I can’t go all the time so he gets frustrated.in the beginning I didn’t entertain my married in laws so my husband doesn’t like me plus I had maids before marriage there is background difference .he has kept.maids for me but yells in return.he doesn’t give me muchtime and we have arguments .he never comes to me for.his unjustified behaviour. I have tried to make him realize but not much difference.I have a 2yr old son.I can’t move out of relationship as he might take my son from me.he often says in anger if you want to live then live like this or leave.he also grabs away my son from me in big conflicts and asks me.to pack my bag. I go in emotional.pain and rumination and em also socially isolated .he doesn’t take me to his relatives and friends nor to mine except.my parents and he threats over not giving me little things like pocket money etc and blackmails me in minor conflicts .I am blamed for any fault .I don’t feel any productive or energetic anymore and feel empty over his degradation and mental torture what should be done. please help
Mathi says
Hi Asiah,
Is your husband suffering from inferiority complex because of your higher level of education? His behavior appears so. No husband will abuse his wife without any reason. If he does so, it just means he is feeling inferior to his wife.
Do not fear your husband will take away your son because he will not. Threatenig you just means your husband is venting his frustration on you.
Do not be depressed. If you act depressively you will not have the energy to handle your relationship issues. And your appearance also will suffer.
You are being paranoid with fear about your married life.
Are you working?
You must be financially independent to garner respect from your husband.
Do not always argue with your husband.
You should put forth your views in a reasonable and friendly manner so that your husband wants to listen to you.
The first thing you should do is to regain your confidence. When you do that, you will see positive changes in your behavior. You will be able to handle your husband much better. Do not fight in front of your child. Your son will be terrified.