Your life after divorce is very tormenting and distressing to you, isn’t it?
You feel mentally shattered when your marriage ends bitterly in the divorce court.
When you married your spouse, you thought your relationship would last until the day you live, didn’t you?
But, after a few years of marriage, you find it impossible to live through your relationship. Your relationship problems make you feel that your marriage is a disaster. You feel you would be better off if divorce your spouse.
Are you happy after divorcing your spouse?
Strangely, you are not.
Life after divorce is not as easy as you thought it to be.
My friend’s daughter recently divorced her husband. She quoted lack of compatibility as the reason behind her divorce. We advised her that marriage takes time to settle down. But she did not listen to us.
“I will be happy when I get my separation from my husband. I have a good job. I am financially independent. I can look after my children on my own” she was adamant.
Surprisingly after divorce, she was very unhappy.
“I cannot sleep in the night. I still cannot believe that I ended my marriage without thinking about the repercussions” her face shrunk in anguish.
We understood her problem and so did not say a word.
“I now realize my husband was not a bad man. I could have adjusted with him. My children miss their father very much. I am unable to answer their probing questions,” she told us tearfully.
Yes!
You think divorce is an easy way out of your miserable marriage. But in actuality, you are plunging your life into uncertainty. Life after divorce can be very traumatic and unhappy to most of you.
After divorce, you feel a pain which as acute as an amputation. Your mind screams in agony that you could have adjusted with your spouse. Your mind keeps rewinding your life with your erstwhile spouse. Now, you find a lot of good things about him\her. But your marriage has ended. There is no going back.
Your life after divorce makes you feel overwhelmed by your duty as a single parent. But, you have to other go than to be courageous to live through it. You need immense mental grit to reconstruct your life.
Here are some practical ways to face life after divorce
1. Your children are your primary concern
Your children should in no way feel the impact of your divorce. They are the ones who is most affected by your separation. Their life instantly changes from a united family to a broken family.
Your children loved both you and your spouse equally. They are utterly confused when they are forced to live with a single parent. They have all sort of doubts about what went wrong with your married life.
Today’s children are very shrewd. They want answers for their doubts.
It is always better to tell your children the reason for your separation. But, do not add spice to your explanation. Be frank and friendly. Make sure you do not poison their tender mind against your erstwhile spouse.
2. Do not keep tracking your ex
Even after your divorce, you would never let go your ex-spouse. You follow his\her activities in the social media. Your blood boils in anger when you see him\her having fun with the opposite sex.
You ask the friends of your ex-spouse about his\her whereabouts. You are anxious to know whether he\she is caught up in any new romance.
Never ever, make this mistake. After divorce, tracking your ex makes your hurt vivid and raw. Just let go him\her. If you keep track of his\her activities, you will be mentally disturbed.
3. Do not get entangled in another relationship
Never get entangled in another relationship immediately after your divorce. Your decision will be highly emotional and impulsive.
When your emotions are fresh and intense, you make all sort of mistakes.
You do not want another relationship failure, do you?
Never make the life of your children uncertain by getting involved in another relationship. Place your children in your top priority list. Do not let them feel lost and emotionally deprived in any stage of their life.
4. Behave with dignity with your ex
What should you do when you happen to meet your estranged spouse?
Do not pick up fight with him\her. Your unhappiness will be renewed. Be dignified when you talk with him\her.
If you feel the hurt is too much for you, move away from the place.
Do not insult him\her publicly. Remember your ex means nothing to you.
5. Be financially secure
Money management holds the key to your financial security. Life after divorce literally throws you into deep financial mess.
Your income is halved because of your divorce. But your expenditure is doubled, as you have to bear your financial commitments single handedly.
Pretty hard on you, isn’t it?
You should be very judicious in spending money. You need money to bring up your children. The education of your children is costly. So, gear yourself up to be financially secure and stable.
Life after divorce can be distressing. But you should be brave enough to handle it with courage. It is not the end of your life. You have to build up your life from the debris of a destroyed relationship.
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