Egoistic husband is a drag to live with.
You lose all the fun elements in your married life when your actions are controlled by your husband.
You feel jailed when your egoistic husband decides your life.
You literally suffocate with suppressed feelings. You want to yell at your husband that you have the capacity to take care of your life.
How does your husband control you?
- You cannot do things as you want to.
- He is the only deciding authority of the family.
- You are not discussed about family decisions.
- He insults you before relatives\friends.
- He treats you like a dimwit.
- You cannot help your family.
- He demands, commands and dominates your life.
How terrifying your relationship is.
Married life a partnership.
What is the core of partnership?
It is all about equal rights, isn’t it?
When your rights are denied by your egoistic husband you feel your married life a terrible bore. You want to break free to have a whiff of fresh air. You are an adult with a mind of your own. Your husband has no right to take over your life.
“True love is built on free will and free choice, not control and manipulation.”
― Ken Poirot
You look yearningly at your friends\colleagues enjoying total freedom in their married life.
You too want the freedom to live your life as you want to.
There are times you want to divorce your husband, don’t you?
But divorce is not an answer to it.
You need tons of patience to come out of such mind crushing situation.
Analyze the reasons behind the egoistic behavior of your husband.
- He might be suffering from inferiority complex
- He might be a byproduct of an abusive childhood.
- You might be more successful than him.
- He might be feeling emotionally insecure.
- He might be tensed by work related problems.
Inferiority complex instills a feeling of insecurity in your husband. In order to hide it he tries to put on a show of dominance. He vents his anger on you by controlling you. He can control only you, not others. So he controls you.
How to handle an egoistic husband? Be firm and decisive
‘I envy my friends who enjoy total freedom in their married life’ my neighbor told me.
The poor thing was in complete mercy of her dominating husband and would talk to me only when he was away.
‘I don’t know what to do. I think I will go mad if he behaves in such a controlling way’ she was right.
No can enjoy their married life when there was no freedom to do things you like.
‘Talk to him frankly about your hurt. Tell him that you do not like his behavior. The trick is to be patient. Do not expect him to change overnight.’
‘Be confident and firm in saying no to his dominating demands’ I advised her.
Soon her husband got transferred and I lost touch with her after that.
I was watching TV when the calling bell rang shrilly. I opened the door to find my neighbor smiling happily. Surprisingly it was her husband who dropped her.
She smiled at my stunned look.
‘Well, he has changed. Don’t think I did it easily. There were times when I just wanted to walk away. I stayed back for the sake of my children. Years after reasoning and being patient has finally won the battle for me’ she hugged me. I was very happy for her.
‘My only regret is that he could have changed a little earlier so that I could have enjoyed my youth much better’ she laughed.
You need tons of patience in dealing with your egoistic husband.
When he tries to interfere in each and every one of your personal wishes, you should be firm in saying you do not like it. The message that you need your space should be conveyed to him authentically.
If you are submissive to his unreasonable demands, he gathers strength from your meekness and tries to take hold of your life.
Do not ask permission to fulfill your wishes. But inform him about it.
Married life survives on mutual trust and respect. You cannot love a person just because he is your husband. You need your spacing to retain your individuality. You can never forgo your uniqueness. Your egoistic husband should realize it before it is too late.