Most of you feel that your husband is unloving and uncaring towards you, don’t you?
It is because he does not show his care and love, as you want him to.
Your husband is also very deadpan and expressionless to your emotions. You are often in the dark about his true feelings towards you.
When your husband does not display his love, you feel he has shut you out of his world.
You feel emotionally shattered when he does not display his love, don’t you?
You need not be.
Your husband is not as unloving and uncaring as you think him to be.
It is very different from your womanly world.
Basically, your husband does not contribute as much as you do for the family.
- To you, your family is your entire world. To your husband, it is part of his world.
- He feels his duty ends when he earns money for the family.
- He feels he has done his duty when he takes the family out.
- He wants his comfort more than anything else – An attitude which makes you feel your husband is unloving and uncaring towards you.
- He lets you handle family issues all alone – Indirectly showing his incapacity to handle it.
Can you see how different the mentality of both is?
You have many accusations against him as you think your husband is unloving and uncaring towards you.
Accusation – 1
‘Why do you not listen to me?
Your husband defends
‘You make every small family problem into a big issue. You argue about it threadbare. You nag me 24\7 that I want to yell at you to stop. It is really boring when you talk only to accuse me.
Accusation – 2
You do not help me in household chores. Have you ever realized how tired I might be feeling?
Your husband defends –
Who asked you to slog?
I keep telling you to take it easy. But you are too fussy about cleanliness. When I want to help, you deny it saying you have to redo what I have done because I am not perfect.
Accusation – 3
Can’t you say ‘I love you’ once in a while?
Your husband defends
Can’t you understand my love through my actions?
Accusation – 4
Why don’t you appreciate me?
Your husband defends
Of course, I do appreciate you. But you want appreciation for everything you do. I feel artificial to keep on appreciating.
Can you see how diversified your attitude is from that of your husband’s?
Don’t be alarmed that your husband is unloving and uncaring towards you.
Because he is not. He cares, but does not show it the way you want to.
He is just different from you in mentality and attitude towards family life.
His silence and seeming indifference are actually self-protective armor against your nagging.
In your frenzied anxiety for the family, you nag your husband threadbare about minor family issues. It makes him uneasy to talk to you because he hates it when you keep pinpointing his mistakes.
You work yourself up into hysterical worry about the future of your family. Your husband does not understand why you are making a big deal about the future which is years away.
You want your home to look neat always. So, you screech and yell at your children when they make a mess of your home.
Your husband hates it when you yell at the children. He feels a home should a home, with its share of disorderliness and messiness. He also feels that children will always be children, very prone to be messy and disordered.
You are very hospitable when your parents visit you. But you are cold and stiff when his family visits you.
Your poor husband is frustrated and angered at your behavior. He is also annoyed when you prevent him from helping his parents. It infuriates him when you deny him the right to be a dutiful son.
Your husband shows his disapproval by being cold and formal when your parents visit you.
He is demoralized when you nag him about his incapacity to earn as good as his friends\colleagues. When you keep cribbing about wanting money and more money for the family, your husband feels you are too greedy.
He is irritated when you compare him with your more successful friends\relatives. Comparing him with others is something he can never tolerate.
‘Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.’ Zig Ziglar
Your husband feels sad when you do not understand his love. He is incapable of defending as he does not know what to say words when you accuse him of indifference towards the family.
This is the reason he never interacts with you when at home. His shattered ego makes him behave in such an insensitive way that makes you think your husband is unloving and uncaring towards you.
Don’t expect a cinematic husband. He exists only in movies.
Your husband just wants you to understand that his male attitude does not mean he is unfeeling and insensitive. He is just as loving as you are. Only that he does know how to show it.