Unless you improve intimacy with your husband, he will never feel attracted to you.
Most of you think that sexual attraction is the real way to improve your intimacy with your husband, don’t you?
You are wrong.
Intimacy in marriage means more than that.
The other day I met Sara, my cousin’s daughter. She was a very beautiful girl. Her husband was a proud groom on their wedding day. Being married to a pretty girl made his friends envy him, you know.
But when I met the young couple a year after their marriage, both looked bored and dull. Interaction between them was stilted and forced. After conversing with me for a few minutes, Sara’s husband left us to have our private chit chat.
“Nowadays my husband has distanced himself from me. I try to attract him with my beauty, but he is no longer bewitched by my looks. I want to be intimate with my husband. But I do not know how” my cousin’s daughter was literally in tears.
“What makes you think that your beauty can make your husband feel intimate towards you?” I smiled at the girl.
“Isn’t beauty the most wanted quality for intimacy, aunty” Sara was confused.
“You are wrong, dear. To make your husband feel intimate towards you needs many more qualities from you” I explained to her the nuances to improve intimacy with her husband.
Are you like Sara?
Well, you too need some explanation.
Beauty makes your husband feel attracted to you. But it in no way brings intimacy into your relationship.
Intimacy in marriage has an entirely different meaning. It has nothing to do with sex.
It is true your husband as a man is a physical animal.
Does this mean you can always magnetize your husband through your attractive appearance?
No.
The true meaning of being intimate with your husband has a different angle. It is attracting your husband, mentally, psychologically and emotionally.
Are you still confused?
Do not be.
Here are 5 secret ways to improve intimacy with your husband
1. Emotional intimacy
Do you always feel your husband is detached and cold towards you?
You are wrong.
Your husband does care for you and your children.
But your husband becomes totally vulnerable when there are issues and problems in your family. Family problems makes your husband feel tensed and worried as he does not have your capacity or the mental grit to face it.
This is the reason your husband needs your emotional back up to deal with family problems.
But sadly, you do not give your husband the emotional support he needs.
You are doing it all wrong.
You are missing the easiest way to improve intimacy with your husband.
Do not ever miss this chance. Your husband adores you when you confidently handle family issues.
“I am here to support you in your times of need.”
“I will never let you down.”
“You can always rely on me.”
These are the messages your husband needs from you to be truly intimate with you.
2. Friendly intimacy
Your husband adores you when you behave like his best friend. He needs your companionship more than anything else.
- Your husband wants to have comfortable and unwinding time with you.
- He wants to laugh and have fun with you.
But you never give your husband the companionship he wants.
Family worries make you a serious person.
You are fatigued with the overload of household chores.
You always talk about family problems with your husband. Constant interaction about family issues makes your poor husband nervous.
Never be like this.
Give your husband easy companionship when he is home.
He admires you when you are humorous and witty.
Your personal time with your husband is precious. Never always bring up family problems when you are spending quality time with your husband.
Is your husband watching his favorite sports?
Sit beside him and ask interesting questions about the game. Your husband adores it.
Share the interest of your husband in gadgets.
Give your husband affable companionship.
When you do so, your husband feels he has married the best girl in the world.
This is the kind of real intimacy your husband wants from you.
3. Appreciative intimacy
You like it when your husband appreciates you, don’t you?
He too wants you to admire him.
Appreciate your husband when he helps you in household chores.
Appreciate the good looks of your husband. He likes it.
Your husband is infatuated by you if you appreciate his small gestures of care and love. It makes him feel great and cherished.
Your appreciation conveys the message that you like your husband for all that he does for the family.
Do you know your appreciation boosts up his male ego?
There is nothing more romantic to your husband than the feeling that you value and appreciate his contribution towards the family.
Being appreciative is yet another easy way to improve intimacy with your husband.
4. Supportive and trusting intimacy
“Why do you want to take the risk?”
“Do you really think you can manage it?”
“You will fail as you do not know how to do it”
“You are not as talented as your friend”
“Why can’t you be smarter?”
“I know you would make a mess of it”
Do you utter such discouraging words?
It makes your husband bitter that you do not trust his ability.
Nothing shatters the confidence of your husband than the mistrust you have in his capacity.
When you are discouraging, your husbnd mentally withdraws from you.
So, never ever be discouraging and demotivating towards your husband.
- Instead boost up the morale of your husband.
- Utter encouraging words that will make your husband feel that you understand his capacity.
“I know you will do it”
“I am confident about you”
Such encouraging words makes your husband feel worthy. It draws him towards you in an incredibly trusting way.
Yes.
Understand the needs and his aspirations of your husband.
Be his inspiration.
5. Attractive physical intimacy
Attract your husband physically also.
You should always be well groomed.
Be presentable when at home.
Take care of your appearance.
Have a good sense of dressing.
Maintain your body and look trim and slim.
Be utterly feminine.
Your smiling face makes your husband pleasingly drawn towards you.
Do not smell of sweat and grime when you are intimate with your husband. Your husband inwardly recoils in aversion.
Do not go near your husband smelling like a live kitchen. Have a refreshing bath before you are physically intimate with him.
Conclusion
“Passion is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still.” Robert Sternberg
Did you now understand that you need many qualities to draw your husband towards you?
So, be an understanding wife. Your husband loves you for it.
Be an emotionally supporting wife. Your husband becomes totally dependent on you.
Combine these qualities with your physical attractiveness.
Your husband becomes enamored by you. Now, you can enjoy true intimacy with him.
I have started a new Youtube channel “Marriage Realities”
It is a comprehensive relationship channel which deals with many unknown factors of married life.
Subscribe to my channel to understand your marriage in a new light.
Here is the link to “Marriage Realities”
Aliti Mathew says
Some men are very difficult, no matter how hard you try
mercy says
Am happy & hv learnt a lot tnx
Remya says
I realized I was making a big mistake all these days.. no… years… I have never tried to see things from his angle…. and always blammed him for not listening to my problems… and I never tried to appreciate him or never tried to listen to his official tensions… And, all the time with full sweat I approach him…
Thanks for waking up my mind.. and here starts a new life I would promise to make changes in our life..
Thank you again.
Mathi says
Remya,
I am glad you realized that you should see things from your husband’s angle. I am sure you will see many positive changes in your relationship from now on. Your husband too should see things from your angle. This will make you emotionally happy and secure. Marriage relationship is always a two way path. You give love, respect and care and get it back from your spouse. Best wishes for your happiness.
Mahi s says
Thanks a lot
Manju says
My 32yrs aged husbnd,who engaged with 48aged lady.who wrking in a pvt.company.they met once in a 3months.aftr my mariage,i knowing this.wen take anythng relatd to this,he wil teas me &also take rivenge on that time onwards.3 days b4, i got a sexual relatd capsule in his bag.at morning,10am,he swalow& went somewere.wen i ask him abt this,he just answr me,for pain.an ayurvedic medcine.etc.aftr this,i check th strip,&read ‘sexual enrgy herbal cap.’in this situation wat i do?we hav 8month old baby.pls.consider this too.
Mathi says
Manju,
Never let your husband have fun behind your back. Just as he expects loyalty from you, you have every right to expect the same from him. Do not let this affair continue as the loser will be you. Ask your husband about your doubts as he owes you an explanation. You should handle this matter very carefully if you want to save your marriage. Remember that loving your husband does not mean you overlook his faults.