The many lifestyle changes you undergo after marriage takes you aback, doesn’t it?
And inevitably, you do not like these lifestyle changes a wee bit.
When you marry, you have many expectations about your married life.
Invariably, your expectations are mostly based on your idealistic dreams. You dream of a perfect marriage wherein you live ‘happily ever after’ with your spouse.
But in reality, your expectations are never met. You are utterly disappointed, when all your dreams about your marriage, comes crumbling to dust.
In fact, you are taken off guard by the lifestyle changes you undergo after marriage.
Yes!
You are forced to change yourself so much so, that you feel exhausted by the mask of goodness\adjustment, you have to consistently wear to save your marriage. The lifestyle changes you must undergo, makes you emotionally drained.
You are terribly disappointed, because you feel you have lost your identity after your marriage, making it impossible to be yourself.
When in love, your time together was friendly and heavenly. You did not feel tensed about your future life with your spouse.
You were smug, that there will be no great disappointments in store for you. It is because, your future married life looks that breezy and sunny during your dating days.
You dreamily assume that your marriage will be a continuation of your love days. And you just cannot wait for the dawn of your wedding day.
You seem to be made for each other. You literally float in cloud nine, that you have found a perfect match in your spouse.
But after marriage, everything about your dreams becomes distant and unachievable. The lifestyle changes you undergo after marriage makes you baffled and confused.
You also undergo many changes in your mental attitude towards your spouse.
How exactly was your attitude towards your spouse before marriage?
- You always wanted to be together.
- You appreciated your spouse, for everything he\she did.
- You easily forgave your spouse.
- You took immense care of your looks.
- You were ready to spend for your spouse.
- You always put your best foot forward, when you were with your spouse.
- You easily made up when you had any disagreement with your spouse.
- You had so much to talk about.
- You agreed to whatever your spouse suggested.
Now, let us see how you change after your marriage!
- You never think of appreciating your spouse.
- You are not ready to forgive, even the smallest mistake of your spouse.
- You no longer care to look presentable, before your spouse.
- You do not feel like opening your purse\wallet your spouse.
- You constantly shout, yell, or scream at your spouse.
- You live your own life, and your spouse lives in his\her own world.
- Both seem to have nothing common to talk about.
Such radical changes in your attitude towards your spouse, isn’t it?
Why do you change so much towards the person you fervently loved and cherished?
Has your love lost its fire and verve?
No!
You do love your spouse. But you do not display it, as fervently as you did before your marriage.
What has changed in your relationship to bring this drastic change in your attitude towards your spouse?
You married your spouse out of intense love, didn’t you?
Then, why have you outgrown each other so quickly after marriage?
The answer is very simple.
Your love for your spouse, has not diminished in any way. But you are bewildered, confused, and panicky about the intursion into your individuality, the lifestyle changes after your marriage brings about.
What are the other lifestyle changes you undergo after marriage?
1. Your carefree life is gone forever
Before marriage, you lived a carefree life. You did not have too much of commitments or responsibilities.
But after marriage, you have tons of responsibilities thrust on you.
2. You can no longer spend fun times with your friends
Your spouse intrudes into your time with your friends also.
And if your spouse does not like your friends, you have no other go than to sever your friendship.
Inwardly, you fume with frustration and resentment about the lifestyle changes you are forced to undergo.
3. Your spending is questioned
Before your marriage, you spent your money on things you fancied. But after marriage, your spouse questions you about your spending.
Your spouse cites family commitments and responsibilities, and bombards you about being reckless in throwing away your money.
4. You have to adjust to things you do not like
You know that if you want your marriage to work, you muust make many adjustments.
There are times when you change your way of dressing also, just to please your spouse.
You no longer can watch your favorite shows, as the remote is with your spouse.
Your spouse also takes control of your hard-earned money.
These are just few of the adjustments you make, after your marriage.
Inwardly, you are displeased and upset about the changes you undergo.
5. You are consistently advised and preached
Many a time, your spouse treats you like a nitwit.
Your spouse keeps giving you advice, as if you knew nothing.
Your spouse also makes rude comments about your way of doing your work.
Your spouse compares you with others, while you fume at his\her audacity.
Conclusion
“You can measure the happiness of a marriage by the number of scars that each partner carries on their tongues, earned from years of biting back angry words.” –Elizabeth Gilbert.
Can you see how many lifestyle changes you undergo after marriage?
And these lifestyle changes you undergo after marriage, is not what you expected.
It is a hard core fact that after the initial flush of your love wears off, your spouse throws away the mask of goodness he\she wore before marriage.
It is as though, your spouse has assumed a new role.
You wonder where your spouse hid his\her anger, snobbery, ruthlessness, carelessness, and uncaring attitude when you were in love.
You feel as though you had married a stranger, who is unknown to you and whose behavior knocks you down in beaten despair.
Who is wrong in changing colors, after marriage?
Is it you, or your spouse?
The fault sadly lies with both of you.
When you were in love, you build a fairy tale married life about your spouse, where you will be the queen\king of his\her life.
But your castles come crashing to naught within a few months after marriage.
When you become frustrated and irritated with the changed face of your spouse, you feel cheated and betrayed.
So, you must accept these lifestyle changes as part and parcel of your marriage.
It is the only way to save your relationship from crumbling into abject disappointment.
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