Are you a listening husband?
Your wife adores you.
‘I do listen to her. But she always complains that I do not listen to her at all.’- you are very instant in protecting yourself from the blame.
But your wife has a very different story to tell.
‘I might as well be talking to a wall for all the reaction my husband gives when I talk with him.’
She is very true.
You never listen to her.
Listening does not mean being physically present when she is talking.
Listening to your wife means opening your mind and thoughts to her views. This is where you lag far behind.
- Your face shows your indifference.
- You do not react to her talking.
- Your facial expression is wooden, deadpan and emotionless.
- You do not have direct eye contact with her.
- Your eyes are shifty and wavering.
A clear display that you are not listening to her.
You feel your wife is always keyed about some family issues.
‘She makes much ado about nothing.’ is your common complaint.
It is her womanly nature that makes her very emotional and tensed up.
Her entire world is her family!
To you family is just a part of your world.
You are very different from her as a parent too!
What do you do when your child is born?
You are at the most a happy and proud father. But your wife immediately builds her dreams around her baby. She plans for his future. She begins to live a selfless life for her child.
This is something you can never do!
Can you see how sensitive and emotional your wife is?
Her whole world revolves around her family
She wants your love more than anything else.
You love her. But you do not know how to show it to her. You do not listen to her.
‘Make women rational creatures and free citizens and they will quickly become good wives; – that is, if men do not neglect the duties of husbands and fathers.’ – Mary Wollstonecraft
Why do you not listen to her?
- She makes much ado about nothing.
- She gossips too much about persons I do not know.
- She is not satisfied with what I earn and demands more and more money.
- She compares me in a lesser light with others.
Your complaints are quite valid. But it is your male point of view.
What might appear innocuous to you is a very serious matter to her. You make a big mistake by turning a deaf ear to her point of view.
Do you know when you do not listen to her it makes her feel you are an uncaring, unloving and irresponsible husband?
It is very sad that you do not understand her emotions properly. You make her feel completely neglected by not listening to her.
Why does your wife want you to listen to her?
- When you listen to her she feels her emotions shared.
- She wants to share her feelings, apprehensions and fears with you.
- It makes her feel loved.
- She feels she has a great companion in you.
Why does your wife keep saying the same things over and over again?
When your wife feels that you are not listening to her, she keeps repeating whatever she is saying over and over again to get your attention.
Do you know being a listening husband does wonders to your marriage?
It is your unreceptive nature which makes her nag you. The poor girl wants to share everything with you without realizing your disinterest.
It is very true your wife is demanding in money matters. But she does not want money for herself, but for the family.
If you plug your ears and do not listen to her, she starts to nag you. If you listen to her intently and give her your full attention she feels very loved and cared.
You should talk to her reasonably about things you do not like about her. You will be surprised when she changes according to your liking.
You should listen to her woes and worries and make her feel that you are there to support her.
You should discuss family matters with her.
You listen to her advice regarding financial matters also.
When you do it she is completely satisfied that you are a good listening husband who cares for her inner feelings.
Not very difficult, is it?
How to be a great listening husband?
- You should have direct eye contact with her.
- You should turn towards her to show that she has your full attention.
- You should react with appropriate words to make her feel that you are listening to her.
- Small affectionate physical gestures show that you are not only listening, but also empathizing with her.
Being a great listener is the ultimate qualification of a good husband!
When you listen, you understand her expectations. When you understand her expectations you enter into her world.
When you enter her world she feels she has the greatest support she can hope for. It is your listening support she wants more than anything else in this world!