Do you know you commit many relationship blunders which make your marriage complicated and thorny?
It is a fact that most modern couples feel that their marriage is not what they thought it would be when they married.
When you marry, you have rosy dreams of a problem free married life. You dreamily assume that the ardent love of your dating days would continue forever. But in reality it is never so. The raw truth is that your married life is like living in a furnace of multifaceted problems. You battle with the continuous family issues that makes you a nervous wreck.
- You have financial problems.
- You have relationship problems.
- You have problems regarding your children.
Not a day passes without you facing some sort of family issue. If you have excellent compatibility with your spouse, you can sail through your relationship problems with effortless ease. But sadly, this is not the case in most marriages.
Often you feel utterly disappointed that your marriage is complicated and exact opposite to what you imagined it to be.
The loads of family issues that come your way makes you feel emotionally shattered and drained. You are completely disillusioned when your spouse is not what you imagined him\her to be.
The love you had for each other soon loses its sheen and leaves you baffled at the brevity of your passion.
What makes your relationship with your spouse complex and confusing?
How does the happiness you initially felt become nonexistent in your marriage?
Why is your marriage complicated and chaotic?
What are the main reasons for the deterioration of your relationship?
The answer to all these questions is simple.
You commit many unthinking relationship blunders. These blunders make you bitter and resentful against your spouse. After the initial glow of your love fades, you have many complaints about your spouse.
Why does this happen to your relationship?
- You make much ado about the minor faults of your spouse.
- You interact only about essential family matters.\
- You fail to understand that responsibilities and commitments are part and parcel of married life.
- You have great expectations about your spouse.
- You take your spouse for granted.
- You are too concentrated on your work related problems.
You never really know that some of your relationship blunders act as a silent killer to your marriage.
Shall we have a peep into what you do to make your marriage complicated?
1. You never sort out your problems with your spouse
Married life is an emotion galore. You have to deal with it 24\7. So, it is only natural you often become tensed about your spouse. But, you never discuss your problems regarding your spouse with him\her. You keep your anger and frustration all bottled up until one day it erupts with the force of a volcano.
This is the reason your resentful silence snowballs into a menacing relationship problem.
Diversities regarding family matters is very common in any marriage. If at all you have any issue with your spouse, you should discuss it with him\her. You should understand that he\she is not your Xerox copy to do things according to your wish.
You have to sort out your problems with your spouse before it becomes a relationship crisis.
2. Diversified thoughts about money make your marriage complicated.
In most marriages, couples have exact contrasting thoughts about money. Invariably one wants to save money while the other wants to spend.
This creates many relationship complications between you. Added to this, there are times you hide your money dealings from your spouse.
You borrow money without the knowledge of your spouse without realizing the devastating inroads it makes into your relationship. There are times you also feel that he\she is leeching you off your hard-earned money.
So, it is of utmost importance that you discuss money matters with your spouse. You must discuss about the allocation of money for important family financial commitments. Another important factor which drastically reduce your relationship complications is having your own personal money for your tiny wishes.
3. Your idealistic expectations makes your marriage complicated
It is common that most couples have dreamy imagination about their spouse.
You imagine your married life to be perfect.
You assume that your spouse would be the same person he\she was during your love days.
Here is yet another major fault you commit. You invariably build dreams about your spouse according to your eager anticipation.
“He\she will continue loving me with the same frenzy and passion.”
“My spouse will always be supportive and protective.”
“He\she will never change from the person I so much-loved.”
Can you see how you dream that your love for each other would be as fervent and ardent as it was during your dating days?
You never realize that you see only one side of your spouse before your marriage. Your wistful assumption about your spouse crumbles to dust when you see him\her in a very different light after your marriage.
This is the reason you should forgo expectations.
How can you expect your spouse to be perfect?
How can you expect him\her to be everything you dreamed of?
Be practical and rational to realize that your spouse is very human and so prone to faults and mistakes.
4. Being controlling and criticizing
You assume that marriage gives you the right to question your spouse about almost everything. You also criticize his\her way of doing things.
You are committing a grave relationship blunder.
Marriage in no way gives you the right to intrude into the personal zone of your spouse.
You never realize that your spouse is an individual and you cannot expect him\her to tow your line to the dot. When you make your difference of opinion as a big issue out to destroy your relationship, you cannot have a moment of peace.
The right thing to do is to accept your spouse for what he\she is and overlook the niggling aspects of his\her character.
You have to respect your spouse for what he\she is. Never ever, try to change him\her according to your liking.
5. Lack of communication
It is indeed surprising that you do not seem to have anything to talk about after a few years of marriage. You do not share common interests.
You do not share jokes.
You do not laugh together.
You do not talk about your nostalgic love days.
And you do not indulge in small talk about minor topics.
Whenever you talk with your spouse, you talk of tense family issues which evokes angry retort from him\her. This inevitably makes the atmosphere at home oppressive and heated.
Keep on communicating with your spouse. It keeps you connected and gives you incredible emotional security.
CONCLUSION
You should understand that emotions play a great role in the success of your marriage. In your work place, your work related intelligence is enough to make you successful.
But, you need a different type of intelligence for a successful marriage and that is emotional intelligence. It makes you avoid doing things which leads to a complicated marriage.
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