Is your husband a mama’s boy ?
Rather nerve-wracking to live with such a person, isn’t it?
- You want your husband to share his inner feelings with you.
- You want him to spend time with you.
- You want him to discuss family issues with you.
- You want your husband to place you at the top of his priority list.
- You want him to appreciate your contribution to the family.
Very normal wishes, isn’t it?
But what if your husband makes you feel secondary in his life by making his mother his first priority?
Naturally you feel antagonistic towards your mother-in-law. The attitude of your mama boy’s husband makes your relationship with her blow hot and cold.
A common scenario if you married to a mama’s boy.
There are easy ways to deal with your mama’s boy’husband.
1. Be firm and decisive
Never make the mistake of intruding into the bond your mama’s boy husband has with his mother. It is his right.
But say no when that relationship intrudes into your personal zone.
It is you who is going to share the ups and downs of your husband’s life. Not his mother. She can at best give your husband moral support. So naturally you have more rights over your husband than his mother.
Does your mother in law act arbitrarily thinking her son is still her kid boy who clung to her for almost everything?
You are enraged and furious at her unreasonable behavior, aren’t you?
Instead of harboring resentment against your mother-in-law, have a firm talk with your husband.
Tell him that there should be no intrusion into your family life from his mother.
2. Never intrude into your husband’s relationship with his mother
Never try to completely cut off his relationship with his mother. He hates you for this.
Let him spend time with his mother. Never interfere when he financially helps her.
But put the brakes when he prefers her over you.
Let us suppose you plan a private family outing.
Your excitement falls flat on its face when your husband includes his mother, doesn’t it?
After marriage your husband should understand that he cannot still be a mama’s boy.
Ask your husband to inform you beforehand if he wants to take you to his mother’s.
Also tell him that he must discuss with you if he wants to tag his mother along when you go out as a family.
It is always better to be open with your husband than to hide your feelings inside you.
Builds up your resentment against him, doesn’t it?
So be very frank and blunt with your husband regarding his mother.
3. Be firm about your own personal space
Your husband has no right to force his mother on you.
He should understand that you can never think of his mother as your mother.
It is impossible.
Your mother-in-law has done nothing for you. So, you can never be emotionally attached to her. Your roots are with your mother. She has made you what you are today. Just as he loves his mother you love yours.
Tell your husband frankly that you can respect his mother but not treat her as your own.
Unless you do this your mama’s boy husband will never understand that you dislike his childish clinging to his mother.
4. Deal with your mother-in-law personally
Your mother-in-law should realize that her son is now married and answerable to you.
Never confront her in anger even if she deliberately acts as if your husband is still her little boy.
Control your boiling anger.
Otherwise she will head straight to her son with her sobbing version of the story – often with added color and tone.
The best way is to coolly ignore her when she insists on giving unwanted advice about things which you can do with more proficiency.
If she insists on telling you about what you should do for her son, your face should reflect that you do not like what she telling you.
Freeze her away.
5. Do your own thing
You have the right to lead your married life as you want to. The only person you are accountable to is your husband.
Do not change the way you dress fearing the biting tongue of your mother-in-law.
You can cook only your style, not hers.
You should bring up your children according to your wishes and not according to the outdated wishes of your mother in law.
Your mama’s boy husband should realize that you mean business as far as his mother is concerned.
Your mother-in-law is a person to be respected. But you cannot live with her. You can consult her for important family issues but the decision should always be yours.
Do you really want your mama’s boy husband to change?
Never soft pedal on this issue as it will have a definite negative impact in your relationship with him in the future.
You never would want it, would you?
Your husband must also understand that he cannot travel in two boats at the same time.