Your selfish husband makes you feel unloved and uncared, doesn’t he?
Yes!
Your husband is totally focused on his needs, his expectations, and his desires. He scantily cares about your emotional needs.
This self-centered attitude of your husband makes you feel bitter and resentful towards him.
All your expectations about your married life is dashed to the ground when your husband is totally focused on himself.
What exactly are your expectations about your husband?
- You want his love.
- You want your husband to respect your contribution towards the family.
- You want him to share your household chores.
- You want your husband to appreciate you.
- You want him to be frank with you.
- You want your husband to be as responsible as you are towards your family.
But none of your expectations about your husband is realized.
- Your husband is too concentrated on his own interest
- He selfishly wants you to behave according to his liking.
- He does not accept your views about family issues\money dealings as he feels you know nothing.
- Your husband is very egoistic and would never give in to you.
It is tough to live with such a selfish husband, isn’t it?
Here is how much your selfish husband thinks only about himself
1. He never helps in household chores
Your selfish husband reclines before the TV expecting you to be at his service.
Your husband is conceited that he is the head of the family.
So. he does not share your household work.
Your husband does not care about your mental and physical tiredness.
He never lends you a helping hand.
He lazes around while you slog all alone with your never-ending household chores.
You can only helplessly fume at the selfishness of your husband in frustrated anger.
2. He expects you to clean his mess
Your husband strew things around and does not clean up his mess, isn’t it?
In fact all his clothes lie in the bed. He never bothers to put it in its place.
His keeps used coffee cups and plates wherever he is. He expects you to do the cleaning up.
Yes.
Your selfish husband treats you more or less like a maid.
3. You have to do what your husband expects you to do
Your selfish husband never acknowledges that you are an individual with your own desires and wishes.
He expects you to follow his orders to the dot.
Your husband is so head swollen with needless arrogance that he always feels he knows better than you.
He becomes abusive when you do not obey him.
And unable to tolerate the abusiveness of your husband, you meekly surrender to his selfish demands.
4. He deals with your money
When your husband is selfish, you lose control over the money you earn.
It is your husband who decides how your hard-earned money must be spent.
You cannot by a thing with the money you earn as your husband questions you about your spending.
Strangely, your husband never allows you to have any say in his income. He is the only one who decides what should be done with the money he earns
5. He thrust his parents on you
Your selfish husband also thrusts his personal duties on you.
He feels that it is your duty to look after his parents.
He never realizes that his parents are his duty, not yours.
This is the most disliked quality of your husband, isn’t it?
6. He wants sex even when you are not in the mood
As a woman you feel sexually aroused only when you are emotionally aroused. But your selfish husband is not concerned about it.
He expects you to sexually satisfy him whenever he is in the mood for it.
When you cite your tiredness, your husband turns abusive as he feels you are deliberately denying him the pleasure due to him.
7. He never supports you
Whenever there are family issues your selfish husband withdraws away from it as if it is not his concern.
The entire burden of dealing with family and household problems falls on your already overburdened shoulders.
It might be repairing a dripping tap. It might be some electrical problem. It might be a bill unpaid.
You have to deal with everything on your own.
You are irritated at his heartless attitude, aren’t you?
8. You are the one to make all adjustments
Your husband will never let go his comfort zone.
He expects you to adjust to all his faults.
But never once does he adjust to your minor mistakes.
He instantly makes abusive comments as though you know nothing about anything.
You are furious at this attitude of your husband, aren’t you?
9. He is never appreciative
Your selfish husband never appreciates you.
He takes it for granted that you are there to look after him and his children.
He always feels you are only doing your duty when you slog for the family.
Your husband thinks doing your duties does not need any appreciation from him.
10. He is a TV\social media addict
Your husband whiles away his time watching TV. Or plunges himself into the social media.
As all his time is swallowed in doing his personal things, he never has time for you or your children.
He never takes care of the children as he feels they are your duty.
He never attempts to help you.
But he feels it is your duty to be at his beck and call.
Phew!
Your selfish husband is quite a handful, isn’t he?
You love your husband. You are very dutiful also. But you are angry when your duty consciousness is not reciprocated by your husband.
It is indeed tragic when your husband does not understand your needs and only sees his needs in everything.
Should you allow your selfish husband to have his way?
No.
Never let your husband have everything done his way, always and everytime.
Make sure he shares family problems with you.
Do not play a mother to his selfish needs – this makes him more and more self-centered.
Be firm in stressing that you too should have a say in family matters.
Do not think love is being burdened with all the responsibilities of your family, because it is not.
Conclusion about your selfish husband
‘In almost every marriage there is a selfish and an unselfish partner. A pattern is set up and soon becomes inflexible, of one person always making the demands and one person always giving way.’- Iris Murdoch
A good marriage always has a give and take policy.
Your love is mutual. Your respect is mutual. Your sharing of family duties is mutual.
Being mutually loving and duty bound paves an emphatic way for continued marital happiness.
But when you are the only one who has to relent and adjust to make your marriage work, your pent-up frustration will one day burst out with a volcanic impact.
You never want that to happen to your marriage, do you?
Making your selfish husband realize that selfishness has no place in married life is the only trick to avert the bitterness you might otherwise feel towards him.
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