Do you know that there is no perfect marriage even if you search the whole world?
Every marriage is imperfect in its own way. There are no perfect couples either.
It is quite a natural thing.
How can two people from diversified family background have perfect sync of thoughts just because they are married?
It never happens. Might be in your dream. But never in reality.
‘I think that there is always a part of utopia in any romantic relationship.’- Pedro Almodovar
Do you want to know the real reason why no perfect marriage exists?
It is because of the drastic changes your relationship undergoes after your marriage.
In the initial glow of love, you dream that your married life would always be perfect and heavenly. Almost all couples have such idealistic dreams when they marry. But mostly they are disappointed.
They soon find out that their’s is not a perfect marriage as they idealistically imagined it to be. They also bitterly realize that a perfect spouse also doesn’t exist.
Perfect marriage was after all your pipe dream, wasn’t it?
You had dreamy expectations about your marriage. But you feel utterly disappointed when your dreams of a perfect marriage crashes to the ground.
You find out with regret that your married life is a different genre from your love days. It is practical and realistic to the core.
Your spouse is not the super human being you imagined him\her to be. He\she is very real, very emotional, and very human.
He\she is also prone to mistakes. Your married life is not as problem free as you imagined. In fact, it is full of emotional and financial problems.
You fight and argue with your spouse – a thing you never dreamed will happen in your relationship.
You finally realize that no perfect marriage exists in this vast world.
All married couples throughout the world face relationship problems. They too feel their marriage is not perfect.
Yes.
There is no perfect marriage. There are no perfect couples. You are not perfect. Your spouse is not perfect. This is the harsh reality you have to face.
Are you everything your spouse expected you to be?
You are not.
You have your share of imperfections, don’t you?
Then, how can you expect your spouse to be your dream husband\wife?
This is the topmost mistake your make. When you set too high a standard for your spouse, he\she finds it impossible to fulfill it.
Adjusting and tolerating the imperfections of your spouse decides the happiness quotient of your marriage. Overlooking his\her imperfections is the only way to a happy married life.
You can at best only expect a compatible spouse who makes perfect adjustments to your imperfections.
Do you want to see why there is no such thing as a perfect marriage?
To find out the real reason, you have to compare your love days and your married days.
Your Utopian love days.
- Both spend lavishly for each other.
- You argued, but made up immediately.
- You always wanted to be together.
- You talked about everything under the sky.
- You were very demonstrative in displaying your love.
- You were attracted to your spouse.
- You felt everything about him\her very exciting.
The initial glow of your early married days
- The initial days of your marriage confirms that you are right in feeling idealistic about your spouse.
- The physical proximity of your spouse makes you heady with excitement.
- You always whisper lovey- dovey words.
- Your world consists of only you and your spouse.
- You are overwhelmed with love that you are the luckiest person in the world to have married such a lovely person.
Your practical married days
As years go by, there is now an about turn in your attitude towards your spouse.
- You lose the excitement for each other.
- You find the habits of your spouse infuriating and irritating.
- You are taken aback when your spouse thinks twice before spending for you.
- You argue for petty reasons.
- You sulk for days in anger and feel egoistic to apologize to your spouse.
- Conversation between you is always monotonous and dull.
- You are alarmed when your spouse behaves in a self-centered and selfish manner.
Why this complete changeover in your attitude towards your spouse after your marriage?
After your honeymoon days, your married life reverts to the mundane and the routine. Your dreamy vision of a perfect marriage vanishes into the thin air.
Love alone does not seem to constitute your relationship as you dreamed. You now realize that married life is not after all as rosy and heavenly as you thought it to be.
You sadly find out that married life is more of responsibilities and commitments. There are a lot of thorns and hurdles all along the way. Your carefree days are gone forever.
You are now loaded with various family issues and financial problems. You constantly find yourself at logger heads with your spouse. Minor problems in your family life become big tormenting relationship issues between you.
When in love you are very bewitched by your spouse. Both put your best foot forward to please each other.
But after marriage, you throw away the cloak of assumed goodness you displayed before marriage. Your true self is exposed. It is so contrasting and different from what you displayed during your love days. You no longer want to adjust with your spouse. You want to fight it out.
Never make this mistake.
Understand that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage.
Do not compare your love days with your marriage. Your love days are Utopian days – very dreamy and very idealistic. Your married life is very different -very raw and practical. This is the reason you should accept your spouse as he\she is.
Never make the grave mistake of thinking that your marriage will work by itself. It won’t. Married life is a 24\7 work. It is not a Utopian world. It is an emotional world.
How to make your marriage a near perfect one?
- Never accuse your spouse – Forgive him\her.
- Do not demean your spouse – Complement each other perfectly.
- Do not have unrealistic and impractical expectations about your spouse – It does not work at all.
- Do not harbor great disappointment against your spouse – Often it is unwanted and unnecessary.
- Keep communicating.
- Keep displaying your love.
- Never degrade your spouse.
- Accept family responsibilities as part of your life.
- Never be logger heads with your spouse for innocuous reasons.
- Appreciate his\her positive aspects.
- Overlook the minor faults of your spouse.
CONCLUSION
Do you feel saddened that your idealistic expectations of your spouse nose dives to utter disappointment?
Don’t be.
Though you have the rights to dream about a perfect and Utopian marriage, it will never happen. Living happily ever after exists only in fairy tales, not in reality. When you accept this harsh fact, you will be able to adjust and adapt to the diversities of your spouse. This is the only way to save your marriage.
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